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Anyone else going through the quarter-life crisis? For those unfamiliar with the term, it's when young people in their mid to late 20's have a "mid-life crisis" when they question everything and possible make major changes, such as changing careers, relocating, realizing their friendships aren't working and making new ones, etc.
For those of you who have gone through this, what was it like for you? How did you deal with it?
Well, yes, I guess I did go through that. I ended up getting off a huge career track - I sort of burned out, sort of self-destructed. But anyhow, then I turned to family (had a baby, stayed home with her). I've never merged the two worlds - I'm sure I'll turn up on VH1 with a "what ever happened to ...".
But anyhow, what is going on with you? I still wish we could get you some friends in your new town (you're in DC, right?).
Anyone else going through the quarter-life crisis? For those unfamiliar with the term, it's when young people in their mid to late 20's have a "mid-life crisis" when they question everything and possible make major changes, such as changing careers, relocating, realizing their friendships aren't working and making new ones, etc.
For those of you who have gone through this, what was it like for you? How did you deal with it?
I'm definitely going through this now.
got married at 27, had the baby at 29, went and finished degree at 32, now and old and grey and I am thinking hey I still had lots of time!, don't worry, it will all be there tomorrow, we often impose benchmarks on ourselves, I enjoyed the freedom of my twenties but thought I needed to grow up, you will go thru continous change as opportunities present, nothing is forever, good luck
While the quarter-life crisis tends to happen around age 25, I'm still in it in my early 30's. At age 25, I made a major career change and unfortunately it put me way behind the pack. What I mean is, when you change careers to a completely different field, you have to start at the very bottom, and unfortunately I'm still in that role.
The quarter-life crisis extends beyond career, though. I'm happily married but very conflicted about having children. Totally on the fence about that, though it's very stressful because the biological clock is ticking and my husband wants a baby soon.
I'm just about fed up with the friends situation--putting myself out there over and over and getting nothing but rejection in the past year and a half (moved to a new state a year and a half ago, not knowing anyone). Part of me thinks it's not worth the effort anymore to keep trying to initiate friendships. I'm involved in lots of activities, but it's still really hard to make friends that way. My DH doesn't have friends either, but he's too busy for that anyways.
I'm not getting the support I need from my husband lately and it's getting me down. He works too long hours and is just too busy to give me the support I want and need. We've talked about this, but I think he's incapable of changing. Since I don't have any social support here, that makes things difficult.
Yup...went through the quarter-life crisis. At 25, I was depressed because I wasn't married, didn't have kids (didn't want them though), and I didn't have a career...so a little bit later, I met this guy...went through the whirlwind romance, got engaged, started planning everything and life felt complete...then I realized he was not the one for me and I broke off the engagement. He was pretty torn about it (he was 36) but I felt I loved him like a friend rather than a potential mate...I am very happy about that decision because it helped me figure out what types of guys I am interested in, which is how I knew my hubby was right for me. Also through my 20s I moved...A LOT. I am originally from California but lived in three East Coast states for three years then moved home and moved even more times near Fresno and then up to San Francisco. It's a good time to do it while you are young, unattached (or if attached), and looking for a place to plant roots.
The 20s crisis is a pain but it seems we have multiple moments like that in our 30s, 40s, and so forth...oh well. I was at least appreciative of people I could talk to about my situation so maybe talking with good friends and family members will help you sort out your crisis.
While the quarter-life crisis tends to happen around age 25, I'm still in it in my early 30's. At age 25, I made a major career change and unfortunately it put me way behind the pack. What I mean is, when you change careers to a completely different field, you have to start at the very bottom, and unfortunately I'm still in that role.
The quarter-life crisis extends beyond career, though. I'm happily married but very conflicted about having children. Totally on the fence about that, though it's very stressful because the biological clock is ticking and my husband wants a baby soon.
I'm just about fed up with the friends situation--putting myself out there over and over and getting nothing but rejection in the past year and a half (moved to a new state a year and a half ago, not knowing anyone). Part of me thinks it's not worth the effort anymore to keep trying to initiate friendships. I'm involved in lots of activities, but it's still really hard to make friends that way. My DH doesn't have friends either, but he's too busy for that anyways.
I'm not getting the support I need from my husband lately and it's getting me down. He works too long hours and is just too busy to give me the support I want and need. We've talked about this, but I think he's incapable of changing. Since I don't have any social support here, that makes things difficult.
Yeah, with the friend situation, I'd give you the advice we might give to someone on the dating scene - circulate, but don't try too hard. Sometimes I find someone and click right away; other times I realize more slowly that I have a good friend. But you do need to make sure you're doing the right things - the best friendships, I think, emerge when you go through a joint process. Something like volunteer work would be ideal.
In the big picture, I don't think you need to worry about the biological clock just yet. (I have so many friends who waited a lot longer, many, many, many). But again, if your husband wants kids and you don't or you don't know, that's a bigger issue. I know we've sort of been through threads on this. Like, if you could say "I want to wait 2 years before trying" then you would have some peace of mind. But if he really wants kids and you ... maybe don't ... (which again, I think is your perogative) ... that's something that would be stressful to be out there. I initially thought your reservations were about the physical aspects of pregnancy (that was why I didn't want kids), but then later I wasn't sure (about how you might feel and why you maybe don't want kids, which again is your choice as far as I'm concerned). You remind me a lot of one of my friends who changed career tracks and then just said until she could figure things out mainly as far as her career, the idea of kids was just not even on the table. [She's now rather famous, but that's another story].
My life was in turmoil. I was constantly stressed out. I couldn't get anything done.
Then I met Jesus.
I met him and his cousin Ramon in the parking lot of Home Depot. There were about twenty guys there looking for work. But Jesus and Ramon spoke English.
"Call me Hay-Soos", he said. "This is my cousin Ray."
I paid them each ten bucks an hour to cut the grass, trim the bushes, clean the rain gutters, straighten the garage and do all the other tasks that had been weighing heavily on my soul.
Except for one night in Saigon in 1966, it was the best hundred dollars I ever spent.
My burdens have been lifted. I am free at last and I can testify from the depths of my soul, that if you need help, turn to Jesus.
Anyone else going through the quarter-life crisis? For those unfamiliar with the term, it's when young people in their mid to late 20's have a "mid-life crisis" when they question everything and possible make major changes, such as changing careers, relocating, realizing their friendships aren't working and making new ones, etc.
For those of you who have gone through this, what was it like for you? How did you deal with it?
I'm definitely going through this now.
It's the beginning of true reality of the end of fun. You're a grown up now. You will have a clear understanding of "the day in and day out, dog eat dog world." You might lose hope in humanity. You might become depressed. Try to have a positive outlook and keep in mind, the world hasn't changed, it's your view of world that has changed.
My life was in turmoil. I was constantly stressed out. I couldn't get anything done.
Then I met Jesus.
I met him and his cousin Ramon in the parking lot of Home Depot. There were about twenty guys there looking for work. But Jesus and Ramon spoke English.
"Call me Hay-Soos", he said. "This is my cousin Ray."
I paid them each ten bucks an hour to cut the grass, trim the bushes, clean the rain gutters, straighten the garage and do all the other tasks that had been weighing heavily on my soul.
Except for one night in Saigon in 1966, it was the best hundred dollars I ever spent.
My burdens have been lifted. I am free at last and I can testify from the depths of my soul, that if you need help, turn to Jesus.
if you can't find him, look for Ramon.
did you get a phone number?
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got married at 27, had the baby at 29, went and finished degree at 32, now and old and grey and I am thinking hey I still had lots of time!, don't worry, it will all be there tomorrow, we often impose benchmarks on ourselves, I enjoyed the freedom of my twenties but thought I needed to grow up, you will go thru continous change as opportunities present, nothing is forever, good luck
