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44 and 42. No kids. Not planning on having any. Have talked to a few people (not too many) that would love the freedom.
It isn't worth it. The love and attachment you have, back and forth, with your children must be unbelievable. I can only compare it to having a dog when I was in my teens and twenties, and I thought that was great. Can, but can't imagine the attachment to a child.
Feel free to add any comments, wheather you have children or don't and are not planning to.
I understand your feelings, but you know the saying about the grass being greener on the other side...
To be completely honest, I love being a parent but there are days I want to pull my hair out. There are so many risks people take when having a child. These days I see kids with all kind of illness and sickness or emotional problems and their parents just look frazzled. Or they are perfectly healthy and act like the spawn of the Prince of Darkness. You never know what you are going to get, and should be prepared for anything.
The only thing that makes me not want to have anymore (other than finding a partner who actually wants to stick around instead of just being there for the fun times but bailing when things get hard) is the enviornment. This is a crazy world, I just heard on the radio about a teenage boy beating his teen girlfriend to death over her outfit. I can't imagine what their parents are feeling these days.
Sometimes it seems a dog would be much more simple and less worrisome.
30 here so I better hurry up If thats what I want. Completely caught in two minds. Financially no problem, but its a huge responsibility and burden to take on and I enjoy my freedom. But I'm sure having kids is an amazing experience.
30 here so I better hurry up If thats what I want. Completely caught in two minds. Financially no problem, but its a huge responsibility and burden to take on and I enjoy my freedom. But I'm sure having kids is an amazing experience.
Man there was a time when people gave little thought if they could afford kids or not.....we've come a long way.
For sure, it is a labor of love. It was physically exhausting but such a joy to have little ones. To see life through the eyes of a child is exhilarating. The school aged years had their ups and downs. The teenage years were not so great with one and fine with the other. Now I am in awe of the people that they have become/are becoming. To have watched them blossom into productive members of society, good people, has truly been a pleasure. I love that they have their own points of view and we have great discussions.
I recently was hospitalized and the kids were there and the 20 year old son stayed with me through the night. I never asked him to, he just did. My pain got unbearable and he went and got the nurse and rubbed my back. To comment back to the OP, yes, the bond with my children is beyond words. It is amazing.
Parenting is not for everyone, but for me, it was the right path.
As an aside, I was also a foster parent for 5 years. The OP might want to consider that as an option. I still keep in touch with two of the children. It also has its' rewards.
I was never certain I wanted to have a child until 2 things happened - my brother had a daughter, and I met my ex-husband (both happened within 2 weeks of each other).
I was lucky. I was well established in a good career, out of college and had traveled around the world before I reached this point. But never in a million years would I have imagined how strong the love is, and how much he would change me and my world. No one could have prepared me for it, although everyone certainly did their best. He is the source of endless joy in my life; to now try and reconstruct what life would have been without him would be to paint a very gray & dismal painting. I am such a better person for having known him, and I am thankful for that every day of my life.
"Mom" was never a word that I thought would best describe me. But that was before I really understood the meaning.
I can totally understand the bond and yes sometimes my mommy time clock starts ticking and then I see some screaming out of control kid and Im like FORGET IT and just go squeeze on my cat!!
Seriously, too expensive, too much responsibility. The bf and I last night decided at 1030 to go get wings and some drinks. We love that freedom.
My kids have been my greatest blessings! I love them unconditionally and they have brought me so much joy that I can not even remember what it was like not to be a mother. They are the only thing I have ever done right in my life! I'd do it all over again...
I used to not want kids when I was younger (12,13) then I said, okay...maybe 1...then 2...then 4....and now I don't want any.
Too expensive, too big of a headache, I am not very patient, etc.
I get along okay with kids as long as they're well behaved but I have a short fuse for misbehavior.
You should read Child Free and Loving It and here is a list of other books that may help: Amazon.com: "childfree"
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He is the source of endless joy in my life; to now try and reconstruct what life would have been without him would be to paint a very gray & dismal painting. I am such a better person for having known him, and I am thankful for that every day of my life.
