"Blasts from the past" - welcomed or unwelcomed - sheez! (wife, girlfriends)
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I just got an interesting e-mail. My sibling forwarded it to me.
Somebody I had gone to college (undergrad) with in California sent him an e-mail because they could not locate me. This was somebody I went to lunch with practically every day while in college because we were fellow commuters and had many of the same classes. After undergrad, he got married within a year and I didn't hear from him, or I had to contact him every 3 or 4 months.
Fast forward: I'm living in the PNW a dozen years later and he digs me up. He was considering moving up there and raising his family there. So, I welcomed him, showed him around, took him to my folks' house who made lavish dinners for him (they're European, so they do that for anyone), and helped him research neighborhoods and school districts. It was fun...I like to drive around, anyway. He and his wife decided to stay in CA, so he immediately thereafter fell off the face of the earth. I no longer tried to contact him.
Now, he writes to one of my family members trying to locate me, and I just shrugged. What's the point? Their loyalty has historically been less than mine. I've decided: do NOT respond. Do you agree?
I've had a couple 'old' friends reappear. In both cases they were trying to change something or get a fresh start. Unfortunately you cant run from your past, it eventually finds you. In both cases after a short reaquainting period, the truths were unearthed..."had some problems" and either needed money, a job, or a place to live. But found they moved on quickly if the well wasnt as deep as they hoped (I did provide some help). Unfortunately I have relatives like this as well.
I've had a couple 'old' friends reappear. In both cases they were trying to change something or get a fresh start. Unfortunately you cant run from your past, it eventually finds you. In both cases after a short reaquainting period, the truths were unearthed..."had some problems" and either needed money, a job, or a place to live. But found they moved on quickly if the well wasnt as deep as they hoped (I did provide some help). Unfortunately I have relatives like this as well.
My experience hasn't been like yours in any way. Through the magic of the internet, I'm back in touch with several dozen old friends, aquaintances, even a couple of old girlfriends. Some I've found, and some have found me. Some are now regular email buddies, some just said "hi" and moved on. It continues to be a blast, reminiscing about days gone by, and finding out who old friends have become, who they married, about their kids, etc. I love it.
My experience hasn't been like yours in any way. Through the magic of the internet, I'm back in touch with several dozen old friends, aquaintances, even a couple of old girlfriends. Some I've found, and some have found me. Some are now regular email buddies, some just said "hi" and moved on. It continues to be a blast, reminiscing about days gone by, and finding out who old friends have become, who they married, about their kids, etc. I love it.
There is one...only one...person I am curious about from college. She was in some of my classes and in the same major. She was very pretty but painfully shy. I talked, and still talk, all kinds of random crap. Maybe she found this funny. She would sit with me in the library every now and then. Fast forward: she has never married. She has remained in an LA suburb. I wondered what she's been up to for all this time but would never "check in" without a preview. Still, I don't do this kind of stuff. I generally keep in touch with people with whom there has been consistent contact over the years.
What's that saying? "Don't worry about people in your past; there's a reason they didn't make it to your future." Something like that. I've briefly reconnected via Facebook with some old friends that I hadn't seen in several years. The truth is, I've changed and they've changed (or not) or our situations have changed; and we either don't have much in common anymore or simply too much time has passed. It's nice sometimes to see how people are doing, but I've found that many of these friendships can't be rekindled.
As far as people I knew in high school or whatever - I was never close to anybody I went to school with, and would probably have even less in common with most of them now; it's been well over a decade, and I no longer live in the same town (or the same state) that I grew up in, and many of my former classmates have similarly diversified around the country by now, so it's not like there's much chance of me running into any of them.
Like I say, it's nice to see how people are doing, but I don't see it going any further than that. Especially if it becomes clear that they're only contacting me in an attempt to finagle something out of me. I have less than zero patience for that.
Thru some of the popular websites, I've reconnected with a number of people that I was friends with way back when. It's been fun.
A bunch of us that ended up living in the same general area even got together for lunch.
I did contact this one guy, just to say "hi" "how ya doin?" "how did your life turn out." yadda yadda yadda......Seriously..one e-mail.
You would have thought I was awarded the Stalker of the Year Award!!!!!
He contacted mutual friends and just went on and on about how many personal questions I asked and how I tracked him down and wanted to start something with him. We just laughed it off and figured his little foil hat wasn't adjusted right.
Contact him if you wish, but if he asks why you didn't, make sure he knows. He might have just got caught up with life like a lot of us do and didn't realize the lack of communication.
I had an former finance resurface just as I had gotten over him. Not fun. He actually thought that we could pick-up where we left off. I would never re-enter someone's life if I had no intention of staying.
Robert, you did the right thing. Your former friend sounds like a user.
I had a friend call me out the blue. The guy has been through ups and downs with a troubled marriage- and I've been there to hear this guy boo hoo. So this past summer it was my turn to use a listening ear, and the guy got short with me. He kind of apologized, but it kind of killed my mood. So we hung up. This was at least August/September. I have called him on a few occasions. No response. So about 2 weeks ago he calls me, and after about 2 mins of real surface conversation, he asks me a tax question (I'm a CPA). Initially a part of me didn't want to give him the tax advice, but I was going to be a bigger person than that. After we discuss the tax issue, he's ready to get off the phone, saying he'll call me back with his new house number. I'm like whatever. I haven't had a chance to see if that exchange led to this change in our relationship, but I've attempted to call dude over the last 6 months to see if that's what it is. But I'm not going to chase him down. Knowing him, he will call me back in the future and act like nothing ever happened. He's the type that will disappear for months, not return calls and then just reappear. I haven't had a problem with it in the past. Not sure if I'll be as receptive this time.
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I would never re-enter someone's life if I had no intention of staying. 
