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I thought I already had enough stress in my life--a pending divorce after 25 years together, then a knife incident at school (on me), and now this.
I met him only 3 weeks after my husband dropped the bomb, and my husband was still living with us. The man was sitting in the lobby of my health club and we started a very interesting conversation and he seemed really nice and we had a lot in common workwise, so when he invited me to Applebee's the next day after work, dutch, that seemed okay. I wasn't really attracted to him, but then it wasn't a date anyway I thought, and since I'm new in town, I don't have much of a social network yet.
So we had a good time and a nice conversation and it felt safe in a public place, but when he walked me to my car, suddenly I got the tongue down the throat treatment. That was a total turn-off, and he assured me he was not the one night stand type, though he was begging me to come home with him. I didn't, of course, and went home, but he's been calling ever since and getting mad when I don't call back, and last night he called at 10:45 and I told him not to call again, then he called back at 11:30 and claimed that my number was on his caller ID and then I got 2 blank phone calls at 7:00 this morning.
I'm starting to get a bit frightened--I have 2 kids, and I think anyone unbalanced enough to keep calling when I've clearly shown no interest might do anything. Should I move? He's not been over here, but it wouldn't be that hard to get my address from the phone book. How does one deal with this? We didn't even have a relationship--just a conversation, and now this.
Do you know his full name? Keep a journal and document every incident since you first started talking to him. Stop by your local police station and ask to talk with someone about him being a possible stalker. Review your notes with this person. Make sure that they start a file on this guy. Ask them for advice. A restraining order might be the next step.
If he calls again, inform him clearly that you aren't interested and that any future calls (or visits) will result in a police report. That will usually deter most folks.
If not, report him then have your phone number changed.
Does this guy know where you live or work? Consider asking security or a male co-worker to walk with you to and from your car. Park your car inside your garage if possible and don't raise the garage door till you are inside the car with the doors locked.
Talk to your friends, family and neighbors if the problem persists and let them know you are afraid of this guy and to help keep an eye on you and your home.
I don't recommend buying a gun. Change your cell phone number. Buy a can of pepper spray. Wear a loud whistle around your neck to blow in an emergency. However, in the meantime, immediately find a womens self defense class to take. Don't tell the guy this as you will loose the element of surprise when (should he try something) you are able to fight him off with a knee to his nuts. And off course, tell your family and friends about this guy. If you have a cellphone with a camera, take his picture and email it to your support system. When you are walking alone to your car, either be talking to a friend or be ready to dial 911 immediately. Don't keep your concerns to yourself.
I thought I already had enough stress in my life--a pending divorce after 25 years together, then a knife incident at school (on me), and now this.
I met him only 3 weeks after my husband dropped the bomb, and my husband was still living with us. The man was sitting in the lobby of my health club and we started a very interesting conversation and he seemed really nice and we had a lot in common workwise, so when he invited me to Applebee's the next day after work, dutch, that seemed okay. I wasn't really attracted to him, but then it wasn't a date anyway I thought, and since I'm new in town, I don't have much of a social network yet.
So we had a good time and a nice conversation and it felt safe in a public place, but when he walked me to my car, suddenly I got the tongue down the throat treatment. That was a total turn-off, and he assured me he was not the one night stand type, though he was begging me to come home with him. I didn't, of course, and went home, but he's been calling ever since and getting mad when I don't call back, and last night he called at 10:45 and I told him not to call again, then he called back at 11:30 and claimed that my number was on his caller ID and then I got 2 blank phone calls at 7:00 this morning.
I'm starting to get a bit frightened--I have 2 kids, and I think anyone unbalanced enough to keep calling when I've clearly shown no interest might do anything. Should I move? He's not been over here, but it wouldn't be that hard to get my address from the phone book. How does one deal with this? We didn't even have a relationship--just a conversation, and now this.
Change your phone number. report the incident. If you have the guys name let the cops know, and get a restraining order if it continues....
He's obviously deranged. Ask him to drive out to a remote spot for a little make out session. Then shoot him in the cranium. Leave no finger prints. Bury the weapon on the walk home.
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