Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I dunno, I have never seen nor heard of this, let alone have it happen to me. Most people do not like to be touched by strangers. Any waitress who made a habit of doing such a thing probably would not be employed for very long. Bartenders know better than to cross that line. If a bartender 'accidently' touched your hand or back I will bet that 99.999999999% of the time it seriously was an accident.
I can show you entire staffs that lightly touch people, and have been doing so for many years. People allow three professions to touch them, unless they are totally anal...food servers, cosmetics and hairdressers. I know what i'm talking about...I've owned several successful resteraunts. Men like women touching them in a light manor...women sometimes get bent out of shape if the waitress does it too much to THEIR MAN, hardly ever the man!
As for the bet...you just plain lose..you're commenting on something like you know, without any background or experiance...might I suggest you read a book on personal space, rather than rely on the simple idea you know something about people not liking it invaded MOST OF THE TIME and the exceptions to that.
I dunno, I have never seen nor heard of this, let alone have it happen to me. Most people do not like to be touched by strangers. Any waitress who made a habit of doing such a thing probably would not be employed for very long. Bartenders know better than to cross that line. If a bartender 'accidently' touched your hand or back I will bet that 99.999999999% of the time it seriously was an accident.
Wrong. No accident. It is 99.9999999999% intentional
Touching somebody's hand by accident happens when they are presenting a dirty glass to you.
Touching somebody's hand when you are presenting a fresh drink to the patron is not an accident.
There are many ways to give somebody a drink without touching them --- like leaving it on the bar, for one. The thing is, you'll get a better tip if you hand the drink directly to the person and they take it from you. It's more "personal" -- without being in somebody's "personal space" or giving the patron the impression that you are taking liberties with them.
As for back touching, that's pretty hard to do when you're behind the bar ...
Wrong. No accident. It is 99.9999999999% intentional... The thing is, you'll get a better tip if you hand the drink directly to the person and they take it from you. It's more "personal"
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I was a waiter at an upscale restaurant with a jovial atmosphere and I used to flirt with my female customers -- a table of two women would get extra smiles, lots of eye contact, and maybe a touch on the shoulder during a good laugh. I used all sorts of psychology to generate better tips and it worked. I was one of the top waiters at the restaurant.
And even then Jim and Tammy ruled once, both being butt ugly!
By ministry I assume you mean working for the church, well I dunno about you but I do not think of the Church as a service industry. I see it as more of a we will take your Sundays and your money and give you nothing tangible in return industry. and even then you cannot say having more attractive/upbeat/friendly ministers would not be better at getting money from the pews.
Last edited by ulnevrwalkalone; 03-20-2009 at 02:05 PM..
Reason: spelling
my question to you is do you think she is just trying to get another guy in there to get drunk and tip her well or does it sound like actual attraction (and if its actual attraction why the [mod cut] didnt she just give me her digits, i hate it when women are coy!)
I don't think it sounds like either. I was in the business for a long, long time. Every profession has its winners & losers, drama queens, con artists, & yes, even actual normal, nice people! It's not at all unusual for a bartender to hang out at the bar on their off time.
She wasn't telling you to "buzz off, I'm not interested", so go back when she's working and get to know her. Just don't come at her so darn fast this time! Sure there is flirting - big woop. I see nothing wrong with it at all. Patrons & employees alike enter a bar with hopefully the intent of an enjoyable and/or relaxing hour or two (or three...) Not everyone flirts; not everyone is stodgy either. Good bartenders (male & female) know how to work a bar based on the mood of the crowd at the moment.
I find that men tend to be very focused goal oriented hunters/shoppers, they like to be very efficient with their time. Even if the O.P. wanted more than a one night stand, I think that he just wanted to know immediately if she was interested in him as a romantic interest. Men are such impatient shoppers!
I don't like to take my boyfriend with me when shopping. He's done with whatever he needs to look for almost right away. Then I am left feeling like I am holding him up as I browse the racks and shelves for bargains.
It sounds like he does not gain enjoyment from browsing, the way you do.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sure there is flirting - big woop. I see nothing wrong with it at all. Patrons & employees alike enter a bar with hopefully the intent of an enjoyable and/or relaxing hour or two (or three...
) Not everyone flirts; not everyone is stodgy either. Good bartenders (male & female) know how to work a bar based on the mood of the crowd at the moment.
