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The other day, I was reading an article about a man who mistakenly invested his and his wife's money in some real estate, only to have the value of that property plummet and cause the couple to go into bankruptcy. The man's wife was fully aware of the investment. But like a lot of couples, she left investing decisions to her husband. I heard about another couple where the wife posted something on her Facebook page that indirectly caused the husband to lose his job.
Obviously, when you get married, you have to trust your partner to make good decisions since it isn't just their life that's being impacted, but now yours and your kids' lives, if you have any. I'm curious to hear people's stories where they or a partner made a huge mistake that ended up costing the other person dearly. I don't just mean in the financial sense either. Maybe your partner did something that cost you a job, a friend, or even your health. What happened afterward? Were you able to forgive them? Were you ever able to trust them the same way again? Or if you were the one who made the huge mistake, how did your partner treat you afterward? When I say mistake, I'm not referring to something like infidelity cause that's an act where you know that one of the consequences is hurting your partner. I'm talking about an honest error in judgment where you thought you were doing something good or at least harmless, but it ended up hurting your partner.
I have a minor example. My ex got one of those emails offering to mail him some money orders from Nigeria that he was to cash, keep part of the cash, and send the rest back to the originator. He did this without tell me, put it through [b]our[b] bank account, and then chickened out and mail all of the money back to them. A couple of weeks later the bank took the money back out of our account because they were counterfeit. He never intended to tell me about the cash, and I literally had to pull it out of him that he even knew why the money had come out of the account. This cost us $1000.
I guess this has even more to do with trust, than it does with him being a moron.
My S/O moved into my house and oh lord! He blamed EVERYTHING on the dogs.
I came home and the kitchen was on fire with the dogs in the house and he wasn't there. I'd like to know how the dogs turned on one of the burners and left and empty pan on it.
I live near a busy main road and I came home one night to see all of my dogs across the road, during rush hour traffic, where I had already lost one dog to a delivery truck, and in front of other people's houses - garage door wide open. How they opened that electric garage door when the remote was in a bag with his night school books he had been bouncing against himself is totally beyond me. He screams, "They must have walked in front of the sensors! Ah, yeah, those move the door if you're walking out while it's already in motion. Man, those are some talented dogs I have.
After shampooing the carpets downstairs and repainting. The pipe backed up and while I've installed and removed sinks and stuff myself, this was the sewer pipe and I knew belonged to a professional, but I got suprised instead - how that bucket of sewage fell off that ladder and how the dogs, who never walked down those steps a day in thier life, nor did they want to, got behind a gate went down stairs and climbed that ladder I'll never know. - But that is talent.
Everyday, and I do not exaggerate, it was everyday, I would have to brace myself for 'It must have been the dog' or 'the dogs did it' scenerios. You know at least be man enough to admit you did it and coupled with the stress of the everyday occurances.....
I'm glad I discovered all this before I would have ever got married.
Another example I forgot to include was about an OB/GYN who was sued and lost. His malpractice carrier dropped him and no one else in the state would pick him up. He, along with his wife and kids, moved to another state where he could get affordable insurance. His family stood by his side cause they knew he made an honest mistake. But I doubt his wife ever imagined having to move to another state when she married him. I think the idea of having your life potentially turned upside down by your partner's actions is one reason why so many are reluctant to get married. It's not so much the idea of committing to one person. It's the risks that come with being attached to someone and having your life immersed in theirs.
My wife hacked into my computer and found a personal journal that I had been writing in. Just something that I could vent in. You know, it would be just me and the keyboard rather than bashing someone verbally. It helped me to calm down just writing things out. Helped me to think things through and make changes. To look back at how I responded or felt in certain situations.
Anyways, my lovely (sarcasm) wife hacked into my computer and downloaded "MY" journal on disk, printed out many pages of my journal and then was reading it as she sat in bed one night. That's not all. Yeah, she was pissed about some of the things I mentioned about her but she also shared "MY" journal with other people. I was so ticked.
To tell you I have been ruined by her malicious actions by many. She broke my trust and love for her right then and there. I cannot tell you how upset I was. She still acts as if she had the right to do what she did.
Never forgave her and never have trusted her from that point in our marriage. I tell her nothing.
Sure, I came home and he was giving whoever it was on the telephone my social security number and I hung up the phone before he finished and asked, what the heck? Supposedly his car insurance company...I don't drive his car and we do not have co-ownership for anything and I said did you call them or did they call you - they called him and he never thought that it may not be who they said they were ...no one in that situtation would require my social security number. ahhhh....I give people who've been married for a long time a lot of credit for their patience with one another.
Last edited by Thursday007; 09-22-2009 at 10:45 AM..
The other day, I was reading an article about a man who mistakenly invested his and his wife's money in some real estate, only to have the value of that property plummet and cause the couple to go into bankruptcy. The man's wife was fully aware of the investment. But like a lot of couples, she left investing decisions to her husband. I heard about another couple where the wife posted something on her Facebook page that indirectly caused the husband to lose his job.
Obviously, when you get married, you have to trust your partner to make good decisions since it isn't just their life that's being impacted, but now yours and your kids' lives, if you have any. I'm curious to hear people's stories where they or a partner made a huge mistake that ended up costing the other person dearly. I don't just mean in the financial sense either. Maybe your partner did something that cost you a job, a friend, or even your health. What happened afterward? Were you able to forgive them? Were you ever able to trust them the same way again? Or if you were the one who made the huge mistake, how did your partner treat you afterward? When I say mistake, I'm not referring to something like infidelity cause that's an act where you know that one of the consequences is hurting your partner. I'm talking about an honest error in judgment where you thought you were doing something good or at least harmless, but it ended up hurting your partner.
I have a story but I have to take most of the blame too.
DH worked in the same bank I did. He was an I.T. manager downstairs at the corporate office, I was a teller manager upstairs. One of my tellers that had wanted my job, was quite bitter when they hired "Mike's wife" to do what she already did with lesser pay. I basically walked into a lynch mob.
Mike had started as a teller before he was promoted to IT. Becky, the teller who should have been hired as the teller manager IMO, had trained Mike. Now that they brought me in because I was older and had the experience, Becky was training me to do my own manager job.
So, bitter Becky began an e-mail correspondence to the future assitant bank president that she hung out with, about me, without my knowledge. No biggie, I'm not nosy, but after she quit and took my tellers with her to the new bank she was hired at, Mike sent me her e-mail folders.
Normally the IT department sends me ex employee's records, files, and e-mails so that I can have any teller work after they have gone, spreadsheets and the like.
Here is where I made the mistake, and the conflict of interest busted me hard core.
Mike had pointed out for me to read a chain of e-mails from Becky to future asst. president. The e-mails said horrible things about me and Mike, derogatory things about our sex life (they had a game going about what it must be like) and on and on. What I should have done was delete the e-mails and watched my back around the asst. president.
What I did, in my naive, 25 year old, tempermental days, was to show the e-mail to the last teller whom I really liked and trained, what he was getting into working with Becky.
He was 19, straight from the Subway shop, and I wanted to give him a life lesson to watch his back and not to trust anyone. He gave me a hug, and went to take his exit interview.
The next day I was fired for "breach of security". That little guy told the exit interviewer I showed him this e-mail, and tried to bribe him to stay on with us. The first part true, the second, not so much. Why try to bribe him on his last day out the door? Not my style.
However inappropriate what I did was, it cost me my job. The hardest part was packing my boxes up out of my office, and having to walk by my husband in tears from embarrassment. Huge lesson learned that day, but I learned that I should have taken my own advice, trust no one.
My husband and I ended up owning our own company together, and we really love working together. We are planning to run a company again together in the next 5 years once we're out of college and have some investment money.
My wife hacked into my computer and found a personal journal that I had been writing in. Just something that I could vent in. You know, it would be just me and the keyboard rather than bashing someone verbally. It helped me to calm down just writing things out. Helped me to think things through and make changes. To look back at how I responded or felt in certain situations.
Anyways, my lovely (sarcasm) wife hacked into my computer and downloaded "MY" journal on disk, printed out many pages of my journal and then was reading it as she sat in bed one night. That's not all. Yeah, she was pissed about some of the things I mentioned about her but she also shared "MY" journal with other people. I was so ticked.
To tell you I have been ruined by her malicious actions by many. She broke my trust and love for her right then and there. I cannot tell you how upset I was. She still acts as if she had the right to do what she did.
Never forgave her and never have trusted her from that point in our marriage. I tell her nothing.
Wow! That was so wrong!!! I am like you, I keep my writings very personal, I'd be so angry if my SO hacked in and found them.
There are many people whose lives and marriages have been ruined by bringing a sick or elderly relative to live with them. The intentions are the best but the consequences can be terrible.
There are many people whose lives and marriages have been ruined by bringing a sick or elderly relative to live with them. The intentions are the best but the consequences can be terrible.
This is one reason why I roll my eyes whenever people trod out the "baggage" argument as a reason not to get involved with someone. People come with all kinds of baggage, some they don't even anticipate such as a sick relative.
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Wow! That was so wrong!!! I am like you, I keep my writings very personal, I'd be so angry if my SO hacked in and found them.
