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Met this guy one year ago at work...fell head over heels in love with him and he described exactly the same for himself for me..
Never knew he had a girlfriend, a relationship of 7 years.
It was very obvious to us both and to the rest of the work people too that we had a great attraction for eachother!
He then told me once that he was in a relationship that he has never been happy, however been into it due to the convinence and laziness. Also said that during these 7years he could never imagine her as his future as he never even got her a ring and that she was very selfish and self centered and that not very much liked amongst their friends either, etc.. He also said that he can see future with me already and if he had to even marry me right now he would not be scared or hesitant...
He then was also going for the Europ trip with her then as the holiday was already paid for even before I joined the work place..He kept joking with me that I have ruined that holiday for him...
He would write me long loving mails from there and when he returned he so was not the same....he did not look into my eyes the same crazy way...etc,
This was when the relationship started to have problems. Things like we were not speaking because of the fight and I was upset at home during my weekend and he would be on the beach having good times with his friends and girlfriend...he did not tell me, i found out and i doubt if he had his friends too...then his friends came from overseas and he constantly met them and ignored me completely and took her along with them camping and dinners and all that or once when we met he was just too scared that he had to go as their friends were waiting and that his girlfriend's friends were there in there so he could not take me along...
I just felt so disgusted and dissapointed that I said to him that I have nothing to do with him anymore and that I don't want to ruin anyone's relationship and that i need to be treated with respect and that he has really hurt me and i think he is a cheater...
he always told me that it has been a relationship of 7 years and that it is going to be too rude to just kill it so merciless.. I always thought i would understand him and be by his side when he would need me....but he was not his real self with me and seemed like he was depressed and guilty breaking her heart...she would always call/text/meet her and persistently ask him why?
Anyways i broke up with him and he did nothing to stop me and we stayed apart for a month until he came back on valentines day with flowers,wine,cake,lunch,card,letter... apologizing and now again he is the same..so he didn't even quite survive a month...
What do I do? I love him like crazy... I can't live without him and if i try he doesn't let me and a part of me keeps telling me that maybe i need to understand him better and give him more love and care...however, i need some love care too inorder to be in the relationship... for how long can i just wait!!! His girlfriend know about us, he told her he said and now he can't take it on with me either properly.. why is he confused? What is he going through exactly? I feel this is our cruicial time of the relationship and i can't stand him wasting and the relationship cycle we are unknowingly falling into is so not me and i hope neither him either.... (
I was married to a man who was stuck up with his past as well and never had anything great amongst us...marriage lasted 2 years...i told him he should never have married.... (it was arranged marriage by the way...lol) but hey I consider myself all western but unfortunately not my folks
This guy i m writing above is also born and bred here in west ok back to the topic tell me what do i do... I am about to loose faith in ...all most there...PLEASE HELP!!!!!!! give me lots of advise honest pleaseeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
Unless you want to continue playing second fiddle all of your life, ditch the player now. You've known him for a year. That's about 364 days longer than it takes to end a gf/bf relationship. Sorry, but he's stringing you along -- playing you.
I'd suspect that if/when he breaks up with her it'll be for his third fiddle. IF you become first fiddle, look out for the new second fiddle, because she won't be far behind.
This situation does not seem that different to me than getting involved with a man who is married. They are always going to be leaving the wives, etc., yet never really get around to doing so. Are you sure that he broke up with her? Seriously.
If he's so concerned about her and appearance sake that you would be there with her and her friends, there's something not right about the situation. And, he did not have to go on vacation with her, there's such a thing as a refund, even if you take a slight loss, or buying out his portion of the trip and she takes a friend of hers along in his stead.
To answer your question, yes, men can get past their last relationships, provided that they have ended. Seeing the supposed ex-girlfriend and being so concerned for her because of the duration of the relationship is balderdash. I doubt that they're as broken up as he has alluded, and I do agree that he's stringing you along.
Given the appearance of this scenario, I think you're the other woman, and you don't know it. When a relationship ends, and people part as friends, which can and does happen, there is no impediment to bringing a new SO around mutual friends from the previous reltionship because that relationship is over. If, however, you are not permitted to attend, and he continually defers to her feelings as an excuse, the prior relationship is not over.
Yep...I agree. He knows that he can get by with this behaviour, and is continuing to do so, because you allow it!
When you stop playing his games, then.....and only then will you see a change. He will either just shrug you off, and continue his relationship with his GF, and you will be like dust in the wind to him, OR...if he is truly that unhappy, he will end this with her, and give you a chance.
My opinion? Stop wasting time on him. Although you may love him, he is using you, at this point. Don`t let him by with that. Its emotionally draining, let alone, time consuming, and a waste of it, at that. Good luck!
He wants to keep her and you too. He hasnt broken up with her, and if he did, hes now back together with her.He doesnt love you because if he did , he wouldnt always be thinking about her feelings and letting you be dissapointed. He doesnt care that you are dissapointed. He only cares that she wont be. Possibly she dumped him and he begged his way back into a relationship with her. I dont know where you come from, but men here do this all the time.
They just want to have sex with more than one woman. And they dont mind lieing to her and leading her on. They dont mind if you are heart-broken. Not all men are this way, but a lot are.
On Valentine's Day he came back to you because his ex-girlfriend probably wasnt going to have sex with him that day, and he knew that. So he wanted to have sex with someone instead of no one. If he didnt stop you from leaving before, then he clearly needs more time to figure out what he really wants. In the mean time, try to date men who dont have these issues. Dont wait for him, he will string you along forever if you do, because hes an opportunist.
Met this guy one year ago at work...fell head over heels in love with him and he described exactly the same for himself for me..
Never knew he had a girlfriend, a relationship of 7 years.
It was very obvious to us both and to the rest of the work people too that we had a great attraction for eachother!
He then told me once that he was in a relationship that he has never been happy, however been into it due to the convinence and laziness. Also said that during these 7years he could never imagine her as his future as he never even got her a ring and that she was very selfish and self centered and that not very much liked amongst their friends either, etc.. He also said that he can see future with me already and if he had to even marry me right now he would not be scared or hesitant...
He then was also going for the Europ trip with her then as the holiday was already paid for even before I joined the work place..He kept joking with me that I have ruined that holiday for him...
He would write me long loving mails from there and when he returned he so was not the same....he did not look into my eyes the same crazy way...etc,
This was when the relationship started to have problems. Things like we were not speaking because of the fight and I was upset at home during my weekend and he would be on the beach having good times with his friends and girlfriend...he did not tell me, i found out and i doubt if he had his friends too...then his friends came from overseas and he constantly met them and ignored me completely and took her along with them camping and dinners and all that or once when we met he was just too scared that he had to go as their friends were waiting and that his girlfriend's friends were there in there so he could not take me along...
I just felt so disgusted and dissapointed that I said to him that I have nothing to do with him anymore and that I don't want to ruin anyone's relationship and that i need to be treated with respect and that he has really hurt me and i think he is a cheater...
he always told me that it has been a relationship of 7 years and that it is going to be too rude to just kill it so merciless.. I always thought i would understand him and be by his side when he would need me....but he was not his real self with me and seemed like he was depressed and guilty breaking her heart...she would always call/text/meet her and persistently ask him why?
Anyways i broke up with him and he did nothing to stop me and we stayed apart for a month until he came back on valentines day with flowers,wine,cake,lunch,card,letter... apologizing and now again he is the same..so he didn't even quite survive a month...
What do I do? I love him like crazy... I can't live without him and if i try he doesn't let me and a part of me keeps telling me that maybe i need to understand him better and give him more love and care...however, i need some love care too inorder to be in the relationship... for how long can i just wait!!! His girlfriend know about us, he told her he said and now he can't take it on with me either properly.. why is he confused? What is he going through exactly? I feel this is our cruicial time of the relationship and i can't stand him wasting and the relationship cycle we are unknowingly falling into is so not me and i hope neither him either.... (
I was married to a man who was stuck up with his past as well and never had anything great amongst us...marriage lasted 2 years...i told him he should never have married.... (it was arranged marriage by the way...lol) but hey I consider myself all western but unfortunately not my folks
This guy i m writing above is also born and bred here in west ok back to the topic tell me what do i do... I am about to loose faith in ...all most there...PLEASE HELP!!!!!!! give me lots of advise honest pleaseeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
How can you love another woman's man?????
He is living with HER...and he's giving you the classic stories....and, beware, cuz if you end up with him, he'll do the same thing to you.
Any spouce who runs around cannot be trusted....he is not taking responsibility for anything...and YOU...
YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM...??????? you need a counselor, as your co-dependent on another for happiness.
Sorry, but none of this is good...
oh, by the way, I don't THINK he is a cheater, I know so.....
apparently you have gravitated toward a taken man, for some reason...if your head were on straight you wouldn't even consider it...so, you have to find out why you think so little of yourself...why you think you don't deserve any better...and, why you would even consider messing with another person's man?
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and a part of me keeps telling me that maybe i need to understand him better and give him more love and care...however, i need some love care too inorder to be in the relationship... for how long can i just wait!!! His girlfriend know about us, he told her he said and now he can't take it on with me either properly.. why is he confused? What is he going through exactly? I feel this is our cruicial time of the relationship and i can't stand him wasting and the relationship cycle we are unknowingly falling into is so not me and i hope neither him either.... 
ok back to the topic tell me what do i do... I am about to loose faith in ...all most there...PLEASE HELP!!!!!!! give me lots of advise honest pleaseeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
