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I didn't want to make a thread on this, but the general relationship chat is slow. Would love feedback.
I just recently moved to the Bay Area. I told myself I would not date at all, or at least no seriously during my time here. I'm trying to stay true to that. I don't think it'll be to hard, because there women in the Bay really aren't that hot. But anyway at work 2 days ago, I saw something that I shouldn't have saw.
I work in IT, and I work with a lot of Indians. While I think Indian women are attractive, I pretty much have trained myself to not pay much attention to them. The reason why is because it their culture, so in general I tend to stay as far away from them. Plus I have something against dating in the workplace too.
But anyway I saw an Indian woman at work a few days ago that kind of floored me. She looks very Americanized, has no signs of an accent, and her mannerism are all American. I mean she was smoking freaking hot. She is unfortunately very friendly. My boss introduced me to her (my boss is also an American born Indian, who is pretty Americanized. Yesterday when she came in the office, she looked at me with her nice smile and said 'hello'. I hope she doesn't do that everyday. I'm hoping she sometimes will, ya know, just walk passed my desk and not say anything. That way I can forget she's in the office. I'm also hoping I don't have to interact or work with her much. My job duties are still being defined, she's on the business side, and I know my team will work closely with the business end. Just hoping I can avoid the team she works on.
Anyway guys, what should I do? I've had a great piece of mind having no actual dating interest. I've been focused. So how do I avoid having a possible crush on this lady in the office?
DUDE!!! thats so negative!!! im only 20 so im not all smart about life but so far the MOST beautiful things in life come unexpected my friend. Go for it dude. Please do why are you avoiding relatioships?? bad past im assuming?? idk but yeah dude thats something
DUDE!!! thats so negative!!! im only 20 so im not all smart about life but so far the MOST beautiful things in life come unexpected my friend. Go for it dude. Please do why are you avoiding relatioships?? bad past im assuming?? idk but yeah dude thats something
1. First she Indian. Indiana only date other Indians. I'm not Indian
2. Second, workplace romances suck.
3. Working around someone you have a crush on my force you to lose focus. It's better to avoid this and simply not bother.
4. I want to only focus on work while I'm in California. I don't plan to be here that long.
On the contrary, I read a study that said that workplace crushes make people more productive. They stay later, are happier and work harder because they want to be around their crush. I see nothing wrong with workplace crushes.
In general, I'd say take it easy though. You just got there. You don't want to immediately become known as a lothario at work.
Have you heard the phrase "leaving your demons on the doorstep"? I have done really well, in terms of leaving my personal life out of work. Unless my daughter needs something important (doctor's appointment, dentist, etc.), my personal life doesn't tango with my professional life.
Love, crush or other, is a whole different ball of wax. Then again I'm human and a man after all. Attractive women do come into the office from time to time but not often (not as much as I would like). There are a few pretty ones working there, too. So, I'm trying to apply the same scenario as mentioned above for my emotions or hormones. It's not easy but it is getting better.
Here are a few things I say before walking in to work:
1. DON'T EVER LOOK DOWN. Yah, this one is the toughest one, especially for a boob-guy. I tact this one at number one because I know where my eyes will wonder first.
2. Women are people, too. I don't think you bring this or other women down; however, placing them in a spot in your mind parallel to yourself. This makes it easier when you're looking at her or talking with her to remove any feelings, other than a co-worker.
3. This is not a dating service. My passion is my job, not to ask women out at work. Talking with them about work and being friendly is OK. Passion rules reason. (I need to apply boundaries for this rule; what is friendly vs what is flirting).
4. Think of past experiences but stay positive.
These are some thoughts right now. I need to incorporate more to help myself when working with attractive women. I'm no profession by any means of these rules. I've only just added the last two.
You're doing the right thing by staying away. There's not much else you can do about a workplace crush.
I disagree. Although, I'm ignoring the cute receptionist but only due her being a person that I have no interest knowing.
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