changing one's personality to get more dates - how is it done? (dating, boyfriend)
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you do not need to "change your personality"...
adopting a more positive attitude would be one thing, but the subject you've brought up before re: changing everything about yourself in order to suit other people-- it's a bad idea.
you do not need to "change your personality"...
adopting a more positive attitude would be one thing, but the subject you've brought up before re: changing everything about yourself in order to suit other people-- it's a bad idea.
I agree. What you can do is work on being happier with yourself first and finding some new interests or hobbies to do. I know that I like a guy that is happy with his own company so that he's not going to be a clingy or needy boyfriend. Then I like him to have interesting hobbies, some that I also like to do and others that he can tell me about. I don't want a boyfriend that is boring or who doesn't use his mind to keep learning new things.
Having a s/o is not just about going out on dates and eating dinner, going dancing at the clubs and crazy fun times, to me it's also about just really enjoying each others company in a quieter way.
Like tonight, I told my boyfriend about the neat lecture I heard at work about brown dwarf stars. Astronomy is one of his side interests.
But there is no woman like me around. At least who shares a similar interest. I like computers, economics and politics, but no girls around here like that stuff.
If I ask a girl, "what do you think of Windows 7?" or "do you reckon the USA should export more rather than consume" or "is liberal democracy really the end of history?", girls just say "uh....i dunno?".
I do have "low-brow" interests like watching soccer, or listening to music, but it's the same thing as the above paragraph. If i ask a girl "say, do you reckon Wenger should buy a central defender?" I don't want another "uh....I dunno?"
But there is no woman like me around. At least who shares a similar interest. I like computers, economics and politics, but no girls around here like that stuff.
If I ask a girl, "what do you think of Windows 7?" or "do you reckon the USA should export more rather than consume" or "is liberal democracy really the end of history?", girls just say "uh....i dunno?".
I do have "low-brow" interests like watching soccer, or listening to music, but it's the same thing as the above paragraph. If i ask a girl "say, do you reckon Wenger should buy a central defender?" I don't want another "uh....I dunno?"
Such is life, I guess.
Well, there are opportunities you can exploit with interests such as these. For example, most women aren't extremely computer savvy. If you are, then woman could potentially view you as an asset. Plenty of girls need their computers fixed from time to time, and that's something you could certainly take advantage of. Politics is another fairly easy one, and if you get involved with political movements (such as at colleges, during elections, etc.) there are typically lots of opportunities to meet women, and you don't have to worry about breaking the ice, because you're both there participating in something you're passionate about. Now as for economics, you've got me on that one...maybe give them investment tips or something? Although, I wouldn't recommend approaching strange women at the bar with lines like "Hey baby, if I put my stock in your portfolio, would you pay me a dividend?" or "That's not just the price of gold that's going up..."
As my mother used to say: "Walk the walk and soon you'll talk the talk.". If you want to make a change, act like it's already happened and it will.
A good example is, let's say I want to be a proffessional pianist. Well, professional pianists practice a few hours a day. If I start practicing a few hours a day, how long until I actually reach my goal? If I start eating and exercising like a thin person, how long until I get to my goal weight? If I start acting like a person people like, getting out and doing things, being socially active, how long until I am a person people like and want to be with?
Decide what you want to be and start living like you are that. Soon you'll believe it. Good luck.
As my mother used to say: "Walk the walk and soon you'll talk the talk.". If you want to make a change, act like it's already happened and it will.
A good example is, let's say I want to be a proffessional pianist. Well, professional pianists practice a few hours a day. If I start practicing a few hours a day, how long until I actually reach my goal? If I start eating and exercising like a thin person, how long until I get to my goal weight? If I start acting like a person people like, getting out and doing things, being socially active, how long until I am a person people like and want to be with?
Decide what you want to be and start living like you are that. Soon you'll believe it. Good luck.
This is really great advice, there are some great books and websites on this subject, It's called the Law of attraction.
Depends on how you define personality. Some people define it as only psychological, some people incorporate looks + fashion when they say "personality". If you think personality is having the hairdo of the 1950's, then, changing your personality to something 2009 is a pretty good idea.
I somewhat agree. The OP could alter some things or add in some new traits to his personality or he can expand on certain traits of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gatitosmommy
you do not need to "change your personality"...
adopting a more positive attitude would be one thing, but the subject you've brought up before re: changing everything about yourself in order to suit other people-- it's a bad idea.
Well Sammy, you have a sense of humor and that is fantastic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston
I reckon if I changed my personality, I would get more dates.
But there is no woman like me around. At least who shares a similar interest. I like computers, economics and politics, but no girls around here like that stuff.
If I ask a girl, "what do you think of Windows 7?" or "do you reckon the USA should export more rather than consume" or "is liberal democracy really the end of history?", girls just say "uh....i dunno?".
I do have "low-brow" interests like watching soccer, or listening to music, but it's the same thing as the above paragraph. If i ask a girl "say, do you reckon Wenger should buy a central defender?" I don't want another "uh....I dunno?"
Such is life, I guess.
Well first off get off the idea that you are going to find an exact carbon copy match. Lots of women like makeup, shopping, talking about girl crap etc. Do you see them dating guys who like that type of stuff? Nope.
There is such a thing as opposites attract. If you are the shy guy chances are you should be going after the outgoing person. The outgoing person is looking for attention meanwhile the shy person is looking for entertainment.
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