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I really hate saying 'I love you' to my girl if I don't feel inclined to do so. I think it cheapens the meaning if I utter it all the time. And I hate the obligatory 'I love you too' as a follow-up to her saying it first. When I do feel it, I say it, but due to personality I'm not one to say it every day.
I really hate saying 'I love you' to my girl if I don't feel inclined to do so. I think it cheapens the meaning if I utter it all the time. And I hate the obligatory 'I love you too' as a follow-up to her saying it first. When I do feel it, I say it, but due to personality I'm not one to say it every day.
Anybody else?
How do you handle this situation?
I'm of similar personality and mentality in this situation: if you say the "ILU" words as often as I say hello to people everyday, it would lower the quality of those three words. Not to mention that back in my single days, I've had men say those three words just to get inside my skirt, so I know better to look for love in actions vs. words.
I suggest you have a romantic dinner (perhaps, you can cook, so your effort would count as well) w/ her, and tell her that
(1) you do love her, but
(2) you are a man of "action" rather than words, and that you vow to show her that you love her in everyday's little things you do for her (hence, she can't expect you to say that multiple times everyday).
I'm of similar personality and mentality in this situation: if you say the "ILU" words as often as I say hello to people everyday, it would lower the quality of those three words. Not to mention that back in my single days, I've had men say those three words just to get inside my skirt, so I know better to look for love in actions vs. words.
I suggest you have a romantic dinner (perhaps, you can cook, so your effort would count as well) w/ her, and tell her that
(1) you do love her, but
(2) you are a man of "action" rather than words, and that you vow to show her that you love her in everyday's little things you do for her (hence, she can't expect you to say that multiple times everyday).
I like that approach!
I do want to talk to her about it- I think that will go farther than sometimes acting like I don't hear it when she says it.
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
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So you've told her already at some point that you loved her, now that first time you conveyed that love was it genuine and real? If it was truly genuine and real then each day thereafter you still love her. It's not a matter of loving her today and tomorrow maybe not, more so a personality trait of yours to not be as loving tomorrow as you were today. So I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you decide to try and convey that message across. If you love her then it shouldn't be a problem telling her so. However, if it was a momentary euphoric high that you allowed yourself to utter those words then shame on you. Please no disrespect intended but it doesn't sound like thats where you want to be.
So you've told her already at some point that you loved her, now that first time you conveyed that love was it genuine and real? If it was truly genuine and real then each day thereafter you still love her. It's not a matter of loving her today and tomorrow maybe not, more so a personality trait of yours to not be as loving tomorrow as you were today. So I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you decide to try and convey that message across. If you love her then it shouldn't be a problem telling her so. However, if it was a momentary euphoric high that you allowed yourself to utter those words then shame on you. Please no disrespect intended but it doesn't sound like thats where you want to be.
No that's not what I mean. People love differently and express it in different ways. Like mentioned, I feel that talk is cheap, after a while it loses it's meaning. I don't like having to utter the words multiple times every day, or at the same time every day, like some rote ritual. That doesn't mean that I don't feel the love, and in any healthy relationship you have days when you are moved to do certain things over others.
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
6,489 posts, read 7,183,302 times
Reputation: 29855
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411
No that's not what I mean. People love differently and express it in different ways. Like mentioned, I feel that talk is cheap, after a while it loses it's meaning. I don't like having to utter the words multiple times every day, or at the same time every day, like some rote ritual. That doesn't mean that I don't feel the love, and in any healthy relationship you have days when you are moved to do certain things over others.
Good luck with that! I understand what you are saying and sometimes it may seem a lil much perhaps. Now put yourself in her shoes as she looks into your eyes and whispers she loves you.......no response certainly reduces or eliminates any value of that exchange of conversation and feelings at that point.....wow good luck
I think there is LOVE and there is LOVE...When I really like someone that I feel good with and think of that person 24/7 I say , Love you or Luv Ya, when I am really really in LOVE with someone I say: I love you ____.
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So you've told her already at some point that you loved her, now that first time you conveyed that love was it genuine and real? If it was truly genuine and real then each day thereafter you still love her. It's not a matter of loving her today and tomorrow maybe not, more so a personality trait of yours to not be as loving tomorrow as you were today. So I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you decide to try and convey that message across. If you love her then it shouldn't be a problem telling her so. However, if it was a momentary euphoric high that you allowed yourself to utter those words then shame on you. Please no disrespect intended but it doesn't sound like thats where you want to be.
Why say it if you're not feeling it?
