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You're not more emotionally invested than you should be. You met someone, you two hit it off. He just wants a different relationship than you do right now. Your decision is whether or not you can simply be his friend.
I met this guy on an online forum a few months ago and we hit it off fairly. After months of observing his posts, I finally private messaged him and we started talking. (One topic was about how neither of us have been in relationships before. I just came out recently to selected people. He is still in the closet in real life. Yes, we're gay.) The conversation moved to MSN and I suggested we meet up and it was great. I enjoyed his company.
I spoke to him on MSN a week after and had the most amazing conversation that only ended after many hours. I flirted with him a little in a joking way. Implicit in our conversation was the fact that we would meet up again. Not just from my end, but also his. The subsequent couple conversations were more muted, and shorter. Then there was a period where I felt he avoided me. When I sign in, he signs out, or appears offline.
Another thing to note is that I'm always the one initiating the chat. But we chat for a long time about many things, so it's not as though he hated talking to me.
Anyway, we started chatting regularly again and met up once more.
Shortly after that, I got him on MSN and finally told him the truth. He said he liked me, but he didn't know what that liking really is. And that he had issues to work out first. I said I could wait, but he said that he didn't want me to think that we could surely have a relationship after that. He really liked me as a friend, but the other feelings are not clear in his head. The answer now is definitely no, but it's not because he doesn't like me. It's some personal issues. I told him to be honest, that I would be OK if he was flat out brutal. He said he was. And he says he thinks it is best for me to try to get over the feelings, because he doesn't know when he will work out his issues and he doesn't want to keep me waiting.
This is a little harder to take than I expected. Advice, please? I'm really lost and want to know what I should do.
I think you should let him go. My brother is gay but he also never came out of the closet. He keeps his secret but it have known for a long time. It's not like I would disapprove. It's his life and I would accept his happiness. I don't know why he stays that way. I think it would be best if he was with some one rather that being alone.
Twice. We spent an entire day together the second time.
I know I should move on, at least rationally. But I'm not sure how to. I think I'm more emotionally invested than I should be.
The problem with many on-line "relationships" is that some people go on-line to explore fantasies, others are looking for some real life thing.
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