Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
" Stop making excuses for him. I've heard enough of his already!"
You seem very angry. Which is bizarre. Maybe you're high maintenance since you say, "2 cancels in a row, maybe even 3...and he's OUT!". I don't know anything about this particular guy's life. I'm making general statements about men in general. You interpret this as me defending a guy I don't even know about, with a bunch of hostility. That's crazy. I didn't say he was trying to work the online systems - only that some guys do and try to.
There's plenty of women who have canceled 2 or 3 or 4 times in a row. Know why? 'cause life happens. Sometimes the whole thing fizzles. Sometimes it's cool and a bunch of re-schedules later, I meet up with them again and have a lasting thing. Which is more probable: that a highly successful & busy career type will have to re-schedule, or that a waitress/cashier/non-career type will have to reschedule? Yeah, obviously. So with your rule of "2 maybe 3 times and you're OUT!", then you obviously won't be going out with as many highly successful & busy career type people. Maybe that's what you want, and that's OK. A director of regional sales for example, may not even be at his own home 20% of the time let alone yours. If you're satisfied to not relate to this kind of person's scheduling issues, that's your choice. So then you'll come on here and complain that the only type of men you ever meet are unemployed or underemployed or whatever... Hmm, wonder why? Yup, 'cause the career types get the "you ain't gonna meet me every X days, then forget it!" reaction, even if a guy keeps texting or calling you in the meantime.
You cant seem to read between the lines. Ok, first of all...I've already had 99% of the people on this thread agree with all those cancels something wasnt right and I wasnt the priority. Why do you feel the need to cover his ass so much?
Listen, I understand people get busy. Which is why I gave him the 3 times he cancelled off the hook. You know something I hate? I hate when people use their 'busy' schedules as a way to cancel all the time. I wouldnt mind so much if it was a cancel here, a cancel there. Thats understandable. But 3 times in a row? And then only tells me the day of? Its called standing someone up and I hate that too. Maybe because you do similar things and think its ok. Its not.
And above all, Think about last week's scenario. He texted me all throughout the week (no calls!) and then guess what? Friday rolls around, no calls, no text. Saturday? Nothing. Saturday night at 3 a.m. he only calls to say goodnight.
Hippie, you are silly to not see thats funny behavior. And for your info, I have dated alot of succesful career people and they've had time to see me. Some only once a week, some more. If they couldnt see me Friday, they'd see me Saturday, Or during the week, Or the next week. I know damn well he's not busy 7 days 24/7. In fact, I've met *****s like that in the past, who say their busy etc etc and guesss what? I see that same ***** in the club that night.
Im not a ****ing stupid girl yo...I give people chances but Im not going to sit around and wait for eternity for someone to come around. I find someone who's willing to hangout. He has my number, if he decides to show some real interest instead of treating me like a 2nd rate sidekick, then I'll consider it.
Joei, I have to agree with ILSH. You seem awfully angry about this guys treatment of you. Perhaps it isn't what you are used to from men but they say "if you live long enough you will see one of everything". Since you have so much else going on don't sweat him. There is, however, an explanation for his (and others who act the same way). You are right, the online dating climate is filled with these types of casual interactions because for people who have the right requisites: income, looks, power, etc. to make them attractive to the opposite sex it makes them attractive to ALL of the opposite sex, not just you. I'll tell you now, if I had celebrity caliber income/looks/fame/cachet. I would NOT be promising one woman undying love and fidelity. That doesn't mean I would troll the meat markets in search of anonymous thrills but that I would not enter any binding emotional and/or legal committments when I don't know what might be in five years. This guy promised you nothing nor you him. The anger is misplaced.
people who have the right requisites: income, looks, power, etc. to make them attractive to the opposite sex it makes them attractive to ALL of the opposite sex, not just you. This guy promised you nothing nor you him. The anger is misplaced.
H
I'm not angry at him though. Seriously, I'm not. it seems like I am but seriously Im not, thats just how I talk...with emphasis.
Anyway, yeah honestly if it came down to it I have a much better chance of attracting more guys then he does women so its not like a bunch of girls are falling at his feet. Or maybe they are. I dont care, I have met plenty of men who are willing to do the same thing he does, but they actually go through with it.
It also has nothing to do with him promising me anything or not. Nothing. I didnt say he was entitled to do anything did I? Thats why I broke it off with him. I knew that I wasnt promised anything so thats why I left. There was no investment, no contract so I'm free to up and leave if I dont like the situation. Its mutual. Why do some of you insist on making me look like the one who's out of line?
Read the forst topic again, and tell me if that makes sense. Really. It doesnt? Exactly. Why should I settle for crumbs. Thats what y'all want, for me to settle for crumbs but I beg to differ
My gut instinct says he is married. He's bad news. Serious red flag going up. Find someone else. This guy, whatever his issues are, is bad news and has way too much baggage. He is not being honest with you and that's all I need to know to move on.
Ok, for those of you on plenty of fish, I have a question. I tried looking on their forum for it, but couldnt see anything specific enough. Then, I registered a profile because I dont use that site, but I read the forums. I have to wait 3 days to post the forum, but I need an answer now!
Ok...I have met this guy twice now. He messaged me first. He's definently into me and basically gives me whatever I want when we are together. For example, when we go out he always puts the ball in my court about where to go, what to do, what movie I want to see etc...
Here's the problem. And its annoying the **** out of me. We havent seen each other in 4 weekends! The 1st weekendI had to cancel. The 2nd weekend he told me he had to attend a anniversary. The 3rd weekend he makes another excuse that he has to work out of town. Today, he didnt even give me any excuse because I didnt even bother to ask.
Now, before you say 'not interested'...which is whats so damn confusing is he texts me nearly everyday. He also cancelled between our 1st and 2nd date cause he had to work that weekend. But we seen each other again after that. I was about to break it off with him after last weekend when he texts me after 4 days to say he's back in town. I didnt respond. He then texted me again that night and again the next morning.
Obviously he's thinking about me enough to always text but I dont know whats going on. I havent asked him cause I dont want to come off 'needy' but after this weekend I will 'cause its annoying what he's doing. Im about to say Im not interested anymore cause he wont make time.
Tonight, he texts me to only say 'goodnight' but we didnt even see each other (its Saturday!) I didnt respond as I was about to say something really mean, but I had to hold back because he may be going thru something. Should I bark at him, what should I say? Should I just leave quietly? Part of me just wants to walk away but another part is saying be patient.
Are you a really needy person?
Seriously. I have never heard a person put so much into a thread about being upset.
So what. Seriously. What is your deal?
The guy obviously is not looking to get tagged with a woman for a "girlfriend." What's wrong with that???
Don't you go out with more than one guy? Why does it have to be a date and then every weekend or day after that it is like, "I have to check in with her and go out with her cause we are 'dating.'" That's kinda controlling and quite freaky.
Let's say you went out with a guy and he was like upset you are not going out with him EVERY weekend. I mean, wouldn't you think he is creepy? Kinda needy and controlling??
You need to get a life. You sound very young. People text. That's what they do. Don't get your feathers all ruffled up cause he isn't calling or going out with you.
My gut instinct says he is married. He's bad news. Serious red flag going up. Find someone else. This guy, whatever his issues are, is bad news and has way too much baggage. He is not being honest with you and that's all I need to know to move on.
This is completely unwarranted. You cannot assume something like this. You women like to make up garbage in your head as to what you think the reason is.
This is all disturbing. It's like the thread where the guy is not having sex with the girl. What are most saying? "Oh he is gay!" What the hex kinda crap is that all about.
There are plenty of times I was refused sex and I surely wouldn't accuse the girl of being gay. That's ridiculous!!! The same with this instance.
Until you know ALL the facts...don't even say anything. Seriously. Just to throw something to the wind is only damaging their reputation.
This is completely unwarranted. You cannot assume something like this. You women like to make up garbage in your head as to what you think the reason is.
Until you know ALL the facts...don't even say anything. Seriously. Just to throw something to the wind is only damaging their reputation.
Quite the contrary. The OP asked for our thoughts based on the information she gave us. I gave her my take on it. My take differs from yours. Unless you are the man she is talking about, my take on the information she gave us does not concern you. Deal with it.
Why does it have to be a date and then every weekend or day after that it is like, "I have to check in with her and go out with her cause we are 'dating.'" That's kinda controlling and quite freaky.
Again, you are expecting me to accept time crumbs. I dont know what kind of man you and Hippie are, but it is certainly not the ones I'd want to deal with. Let me tell you something...
If a man wants to be with someone, EVEN IF IT'S JUST FOR SEX, he will put some effort to see her. I know this because I have met men just for sex. I have met married men (who were UPFRONT from the get go). And guess what? They were always trying to see me, some once a week or even more!
This guy's deal is he was obviously hiding something or someone and wasnt being honest. Perhaps they lived together. What is going on in the head of yours that you cant understand some people live double lives. They cheat. I understand. It happens. But I dont want to be the one on the side getting the crumbs when some other chick is getting full service. What kind of self-esteem would I have to put up with that? They Just like Alice said. Dont even come to me with that I'm being controlling bull****.
You think you're going to win your argument, but you wont. Listen to me 1 more time. He was texting me. He was cancelling the plans. And Im supposed to sit back and be like, ok baby its ok I understand..hell no thats games. I'm not being controlling....I told him I didnt want to be apart of it. How the **** is that controlling? I told him I didnt want to have him contacting me anymore cause he was getting on my ****ing nerves by texting me at 8 am to say goodmorning, texting me at ****ing 3 am to say goodnight on a Saturday...yet wouldnt even make plans to see me!
I dont need that. I'm not angry at him. I got bored of him. Texting me and not seeing me is boring. Its like a guy who talks **** but wont show up to the fight. Maybe you do that to your women all the time but rest assured you'll never meet one like me!
My gut instinct says he is married. He's bad news. Serious red flag going up. Find someone else. This guy, whatever his issues are, is bad news and has way too much baggage. He is not being honest with you and that's all I need to know to move on.
You know, I thought the same thing, because I have run into this before several times. The ones who want to get together, but there are off hours you cannot contact them, or they have to go suddenly, and that happens all the time.
You start to see a pattern.
She should text him back with "If you're married, I am going to tell your wife." See if the texting stops.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
