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So my wife died last April after a long fight with cancer. I'm ok with it and have started dating again, that part wasn't so hard because she had been sick so long that I knew it was time and she'd been through so much that I personally have peace with that.
My kids seem to be doing pretty well. So, to honor mom I dug out old pictures that we looked through them and dug some out to set up on the table. It was so hard...it really caught me off guard because she was just a great mom and did so much for them.
I'm just angry...I can't do everything for them...and you just never get another mom. Trying to balance thier needs, mine, life, school, work, everything...I feel I come up short but Im just one person.
So, yesterday I lifted weights...went for a fast drive...thankfully slowing down at a notorious speed trap spot or I might have been arrested...yeah, not too bright but blowing off steam and not being dangerous just going fast on empty interstate. Today, I'm still pissed...I need to get some exercise tonight again even if I'm sore.
Wow. Old thread that I just got some rep on....brought an unexpected tear to my eye.
Too many threads here get orphaned so here is the update....
Still dating the same gal....about 15 months now and that is going well. Taking things slow. No rush there so taking things slow. I dated a gal for 3-4 months prior to that but did not work out.
Kids are doing REALLY well. Lots of stress in the family over the past 5-6 years so now must seem somewhat peaceful I would think. (Plus my gf is here about 1/2 the week anyway so somewhat "homey".) Hard to look back when my wife spent about a year living on the main floor of our house in a hospital bed since she could barely walk and could not climb stairs.....<sigh> I used to have this fear of growing old and dying and this has certainly exacerbated my sense of mortality. Call it a mid-life crisis if you will but it is real.
Anyway, sill trying to stay in shape...just got back from vacation and in general life is going well.
Artsy, this sub-forum wouldn't be the same without you.
I make friends easily but don't feel that close to many people. It's been tougher seeing that some of my childhood/HS/college friends that I was fiercely loyal to have morphed and are no longer relevant to my life. No arguments or blow-ups in most cases, just big-time changes over time.
Brilliant insights. I approach people I knew quite well but havent seen since they were 20 as if they are a complete stranger in some regards. 20 years is a lot of time to change.
I'm sorry for your loss. Father's day is tough, I'm a daughter who went through the exact situation with my Dad. I miss him so much sometimes...I can't imagine what it must be like for my mom.
Seems like you can go so long feeling ok about it and then suddenly one little thing makes you so angry for losing this person who was so much to you. But you just have to keep going...its all you can do.
I'm sorry for your loss. Father's day is tough, I'm a daughter who went through the exact situation with my Dad. I miss him so much sometimes...I can't imagine what it must be like for my mom.
Seems like you can go so long feeling ok about it and then suddenly one little thing makes you so angry for losing this person who was so much to you. But you just have to keep going...its all you can do.
In all honesty...you have to be glass 1/2 full. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY think about respecting your dad. How would he feel to see you in pain? In reality, he probably did a heckuva a job and to dwell on the negative aspects is counter productive to yourself and his memory.
I'm just as guilty though, I occaisionally have those same thoughts but in reality....we should CHERISH what we had and let it serve as a great example of what we want in our future relationships.
We will all be dead in 100 years...we just need to have some perspective. What's important, what can we actually control....what do we want to accomplish in our time here.
My sons are currently doing pretty dang well in life and that's all I need to make this a great fathers day.
When I originally saw this thread was re-opened, I was p*ssed at who would bring up such an old thread now to open old wounds, etc. However, it was good to hear your update and to know things are going well with you and the family.
Hope you are having a wonderful Father's Day and keep on living and loving!
When I originally saw this thread was re-opened, I was p*ssed at who would bring up such an old thread now to open old wounds, etc. However, it was good to hear your update and to know things are going well with you and the family.
Hope you are having a wonderful Father's Day and keep on living and loving!
Thankyou for the wonderful comment. I wish more of the old threads would be bumped by their creators so that we could all learn from their experiences. Frankly, this is why I love this place....lots of advice...some good, some bad but we can pick through it and not have to worry about a bias from a family member etc.
Sometimes thats not easy to hear and we all have regrets and mistakes...but we are trying to get through this life the best we can.
When I originally saw this thread was re-opened, I was p*ssed at who would bring up such an old thread now to open old wounds, etc. However, it was good to hear your update and to know things are going well with you and the family.
Hope you are having a wonderful Father's Day and keep on living and loving!
P.s. Can't rep you again so soon. You are one of my favorites....especially when you dont agree with me...you make me at least stop and think.
P.s. Can't rep you again so soon. You are one of my favorites....especially when you dont agree with me...you make me at least stop and think.
Thanks MG! You are one of my favs too! Even though we may not always agree, we can at least respect each other's opinions and take the opportunity to learn from one another. (((hugs)))
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20 years is a lot of time to change.
You are one of my favorites....especially when you dont agree with me...you make me at least stop and think. 
