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Old 05-15-2009, 09:53 PM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 2,398,815 times
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By "Match" I'm referring to mimicking, modeling and/or following the lead of others during any interaction, like a conversation. And to be clear I'm interested in your natural behavior, not artificial attempts to model like NLP.

So when talking to someone do you find your tone, speech patterns, body language, even personality to some extent 'adjusts' to match the other person. Or do they typically follow your lead and match you?

For me I find that during any initial interaction with someone I tend to match them very noticeably. If they speak fast, I speak fast. If they're happy, I'm happy. As you might imagine this can lead to some very volatile interactions with anyone displaying strong emotions as I will almost always reflect those emotions back at them. If they escalate rather than defuse the rising tide of emotions look out! We'll either end up exhausted but loving each other, or absolutely hating each others guts. Thankfully it's usually much more subdued than that.
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Old 05-15-2009, 10:01 PM
 
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Hm, curiously, DH and our friends are people with strong personalities so we don't use to follow each other.
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Old 05-15-2009, 10:02 PM
 
429 posts, read 1,148,251 times
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Funny you should ask.
I recently noticed that I tend to accomodate other people at first. As we get to know each other, we both become ourselves. But, as the relationship grows, my friends tend to become more like me. A couple of them have actually mentioned it.
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Old 05-16-2009, 06:23 AM
 
8,228 posts, read 14,217,702 times
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I don't know if I mimic so much but sometimes in new places for awhile I will pick up local accents and its very annoying because I can hear myself talking and its such a weird thing to do that makes me look stupid but unless I try really hard I can't stop. Eventually i will revert back to my own speech.
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Old 05-16-2009, 08:08 AM
 
Location: North America
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DFWgal View Post
Hm, curiously, DH and our friends are people with strong personalities so we don't use to follow each other.
Thanks for adding that, I was thinking that might be a possibility too, but assumed too strong personalities meeting would be less common. I guess not!
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Old 05-16-2009, 08:11 AM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 2,398,815 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anneee View Post
Funny you should ask.
I recently noticed that I tend to accomodate other people at first. As we get to know each other, we both become ourselves. But, as the relationship grows, my friends tend to become more like me. A couple of them have actually mentioned it.
I sometimes wonder about that myself. I know that over time my mimicking becomes less noticeable but I'm not sure if it's because I fall into familiar patterns with them, or because my personality is influencing the relationship more than theirs. I find it fascinating that your friends have actually mentioned that over time they become more like you, that's really cool! Thanks for sharing.
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Old 05-16-2009, 08:13 AM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 2,398,815 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
I don't know if I mimic so much but sometimes in new places for awhile I will pick up local accents and its very annoying because I can hear myself talking and its such a weird thing to do that makes me look stupid but unless I try really hard I can't stop. Eventually i will revert back to my own speech.
Have other people actually commented on it, or do you just think you look dumb when you do that? Hey, look on the bright side, if you learn another language you'll probably find it easy to take on a more natural accent!
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Old 05-16-2009, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,004,411 times
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I've never noticed anyone mirroring me and I don't mirror them. It looks too obvious and awkward to me. At least I don't think I do or they don't.
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Old 05-16-2009, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
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Neither. I do what I want and they do what they want. My family and friends are all very independent. No one copies anyone's behavior or dress.
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Old 12-11-2015, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Oceania
8,610 posts, read 7,893,401 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
I don't know if I mimic so much but sometimes in new places for awhile I will pick up local accents and its very annoying because I can hear myself talking and its such a weird thing to do that makes me look stupid but unless I try really hard I can't stop. Eventually i will revert back to my own speech.



If I spend much time in NC or ME I pick up those accents for a period of time until I get home and start talking normally.
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