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I need to know if the guy I am with is manipulating me?
I have been with a guy for over a year. We have never made it official, which is both of our decision (I'm moving away for school soon and have no intentions of doing the long distance thing). He tells me he cares about me and he doesn't just use me for sex, but I have trouble believing it. I was emotionally abused and on few occasions physically abused by my ex, so I have trouble trusting people. It concerns me that the guy I’m with now knows what my ex did to me and still treats me badly. I’m worried he might be taking advantage of what was done to me by my ex. But I’m also worried I might be blaming him for something someone else did to me as well.
Anyways, on to the issue. He tells me he'll call, and never does. Then makes up some lame excuse in the morning like his phone died or he fell asleep and apologizes. He tells me he'll be over at a certain time, and shows up several hours late (and sometimes doesn’t even show up at all), and always has some equally as lame excuse. I’ve requested several times that he just send me a text if he’s going to be late, and he always promises he will. Of course that never changes.
He doesn’t seem to make much time for me anymore, when he does it’s usually at night. We do have a healthy sexual relationship, which is good because I usually get bored of sex with the same person relatively quickly. But it just makes me wonder if there is a reason (other than the 60 hrs/wk that he works) that we never do anything other than have sex, cuddle and watch movies, or sleep. I ask him to go out and do stuff with me all the time, but he doesn’t ever want to, and says he’s too tired.
When ever I get upset and cry or tell him it’s over he acts like I’m the most important person in the world and says he will try to make me happy. And I must admit there were many things in the past that had upset me and he really has changed those things for me. But the thing that has made me the most upset over the past year is how late he always is, and that has never changed.
I guess I just don’t know if he really does care about me and I am just being sort of crazy? Or if he really is just using me for his sexual desires and manipulating me into staying? I don’t know what to do, please help!
He is manipulative and he is absolutely using you. I don't care how many hours he is working or how busy he is, if he was truly interested in you he would make time. He's not doing that though, he's making excuses.
Move on and forget about him, he's not worth a second thought.
How many of you people have worked 60+ hours a week?
I have...and really that is about all you feel like doing. People are not robots!
But OP...if you can't handle that lifestyle and being alone you don't want to date someone that works like that. It will just make you miserable even if they are being nice.
Ask yourself does this relationship work? You would probably say no. Besides, long distance relationships suck and don't usually work.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 07-17-2012 at 01:42 PM..
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