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Does it not bother you all that EVERY TIME someone in the news has committed some heinous crime the FIRST WORD in the description in the news report is "Neighbors describe Joe Smith as a Loner who rarely talked to his neighbors". The Columbine kids were described as Loners over and over. Just recently I read (and this was not about refuting or sticking up for Loners just a side bar) that the leader kid of the Columbine thing (Klebold?) was not a loner, he was actually a pretty gregarious, outgoing and manipulative among other things, more a Charlie Manson type.
And so even though the guy that just shot up the Holocaust Museum had a wife (she had died), had kids, was the leader of some white hate group - he was described as a Loner.
Loner has become code word for scary crazy.
Personally, I find this extremely upsetting and frightening. Human mammals are social animals by and large. They view loners with some sort of trepidation "whats wrong with them". Shrinks think we need to be fixed. Loners have become the witches of the Dark Ages - first person in the village sick - burn the witch!
People judge others too much on their looks, their material items, their wealth, and social habits. It's all so shallow and stupid in the big picture.
Trouble is, all of us judge other people that way - me included.
In reality, who gives a $h!+ if someone is less sociable than someone else?????? Some loners are that way because they may have been an only child with no other kids around to play with and they got used to it.
Other loners might be not so bright in the intelligence area or not so hot in the looks department and have gotten picked on - made fun of by others for those imperfections; so they might feel more comfortable being alone.
Me, I am a social person but I can understand why others may not be. I think it's best to leave others alone and mind your own business!!!!!!!
I believe in my case, becoming a loner was due to all the events in my life...finding that being alone gives me peace....and, I work full time, so my weekends become a sanctuary of sorts...maybe it will change upon my retirement
I was considered a "loner" in grade school. I was a very shy child that preferred reading in the library and taking long nature walks to trying to social with my peers. I never had the potential to hurt anyone. Eventually, as an adult, I came out of my shell and blossomed. Being involved in the local rock scene helped boost my confidence. Being a waitress helped me practice talking to strangers. And the good thing about being a "loner" is that even now, I am very comfortable being by myself. I still love taking solitary road trips in my car or spending the entire day by myself antiquing.
I think perhaps that the key to dealing with being shy or being a loner is having interesting solitary activities to keep busy. Even now, if I am gardening, I can take pleasure in identifying a butterfly or bird, or examining an ant colony under a rock. And I've love to gather some pond water to find some cyclops and green hydras in it. 30 years later, I still think that green hydras are cool and very beautiful.
The bad kind loner is a person that is too shy to interact with people but obsesses over being popular and successful, and can think of nothing else.
I don't think I have any "disorder", but human beings are social creatures. You remove that element to any serious degree for any real length of time and there will be consequences.
With some nationality of humans being more social creatures than others. Like Italians for example are more social creatures than say the Japanese who are more reserved and quiet.
homlish
Other loners might be not so bright in the intelligence area or not so hot in the looks department and have gotten picked on - made fun of by others for those imperfections; so they might feel more comfortable being alone.
Not all of us. Some of us are content to be hermits.
I am...it's a peace I've never known before..it's free, independence, knowing who I am...not needing someone in my life to make me feel happy...doing everything when I want and not having to worry about, "hmmm, what am I going to cook tonight" I mean, it's like freedom I've never known before, tranquility when I go on vacations...and makes me appreciate people more.
I love people....just don't want them to close, yanno?
I am...it's a peace I've never known before..it's free, independence, knowing who I am...not needing someone in my life to make me feel happy...doing everything when I want and not having to worry about, "hmmm, what am I going to cook tonight" I mean, it's like freedom I've never known before, tranquility when I go on vacations...and makes me appreciate people more.
I love people....just don't want them to close, yanno?
Have you ever reached out to shake someones hand with the stun gun on kill...
Are there any loners or people who have had experiences with loners here? I'm basically trying to get some understanding on this subject and maybe some subjective definitions of the word "loner."As for me, I've never really been a social person. In preschool, I would never share toys with anyone or play with any of the other kids. Although many aspects of my personality have changed over the years, I still don't like dealing with people. The people I consider friends are those who I have a discussion with once every three to six months. I've lost a few potential friends because I didn't feel like calling them regularly. I only call my closest family members maybe once a month while I'm in college and that will probably lessen or possibly stop once I graduate and I'm fully on my own When I'm out in public, I always wear headphones because I don't like making small talk. When someone tries to speak with me while I have them on, I purposely ignore that person. This happens a lot because of the part of the country I'm in. I even go out to exercise as early as possible because I like exercising outdoors but I don't like seeing people while I'm out exercising. I try at all costs to communicate with tech support, university faculty, etc. by e-mail instead of phone, although it would be much easier to use the latter.One of my main goals in life is to become "as independent as possible" so I won't have to deal with others. I'm still not sure what this actually means, but I have decided for now that I want to find a place where being anonymous and introverted is the norm, or at least find a place where strangers don't randomly start discussion or wave at other strangers.I know that there are many different types of loners out there, but I want to find similar characteristics. I would say that I'm the "loner by choice" type, but even that may be too vague.
Be careful that you don't totally turn yourself inside out and end up being your own best friend. Like it or not, people need each other and whether you have 15 good friend or two good friends, someone needs to know you exist and you need to know they exist. For you to be this anti-social and that is exactly what you are at this point, is not good. It will effect your job, your health, your way of life in general. There are way too many instances in life where there is a need to be with and communicate with other people.
If you need to call 911 are you going to not do it because you don't want to deal with anyone on the phone or anyone at your house?
If you are out running and see someone passed out on the ground are you going to run by them because you can't deal with people?
When you graduate from college..oh..look out big line of other graduates near you...how you going to deal with that?
What about work..that is if you can get a job over the email or phone then work it over the email or phone so you don't have to deal with people..I don't think your loner status is going to work here either.
Look, be whatever you want to be..thats what living in this country is all about. Just understand that there will never in this lifetime be a time when people don't need each other so stop being afraid to extrend yourself and enjoy the benefits of being a living, breathing part of this life.
Be successful in life because you DO care what happens to others and you DO want to be somebody who everyone remembers.
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