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It's never a good idea to complain about exes. For one thing, it puts your judgment (or lack thereof) into question.
True, that.
It also indicates that you're not over the split. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. If you're still spending time and energy on being angry at the ex, your ex is still taking up space in your cranium.
I think the worst I experienced was a date with someone through Match. The whole evening was a litany of complaints--his ex had soaked him for child support, his ex made the divorce ugly, his ex was poisoning his kids against him, his ex, his ex, his ex. Then he finished with "I hope you're not like that."
I said, "No. I just had mine whacked before he could write me out of his life insurance."
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,430 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
True, that.
It also indicates that you're not over the split. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. If you're still spending time and energy on being angry at the ex, your ex is still taking up space in your cranium.
I think the worst I experienced was a date with someone through Match. The whole evening was a litany of complaints--his ex had soaked him for child support, his ex made the divorce ugly, his ex was poisoning his kids against him, his ex, his ex, his ex. Then he finished with "I hope you're not like that."
I said, "No. I just had mine whacked before he could write me out of his life insurance."
Sometimes it feels difficult to not be embittered over jerks, when you feel that your only options have been jerks.
1. Clingy or very needy
2. Commitmentphobic
3. Controlling
4. Careless or cavalier
I'm hoping for specific, real-life examples, such as calling you more than five times in one day, not letting you make firm plans with them for dates or vacations, randomly breaking dates, or being chronically late.
What kind of stuff makes you cringe inside or freeze and say no no no. Let's stop right here before this gets ugly.
I once went on a date with this man..and let me tell you his house was filthy..it was disgusting. And do you know his excuse was only men live here ..No excuse for me...Ive never seen him after that..
Yes. Earlier this year a man thought he was just oh-so-cute by bringing up sex and asked that. The date was done at that moment.
The next time I'm on a date and the guy wants to bring up sex like that, I'm going to come on real strong and start asking pointed questions about his sexual history, medical history, family history. Every nosy question I can think of and see how he likes it when other people pry. That'll probably be an early evening, with both of us going home alone.
Lord, it's pitiful what passes for dating material these days. Someone raised by wolves would probably have better taste and better manners than to bring up sex on the first date.
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,430 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61
Lord, it's pitiful what passes for dating material these days. Someone raised by wolves would probably have better taste and better manners than to bring up sex on the first date.
My theory is so few people are even "dating" anymore, I mean in the old-fashioned get-to-know-you first sense, that the pickins are slimmer. Also, sex is easy to get everywhere today, so the men no longer bother with manners or acting respectful. That doesn't leave alot left.
They (we) can be. Most dont know how. They don't sit with the guys and talk about better dating techniques. They sit and talk about conquests (usually bigger than it actually is/was). Then later on try that conquest technique themselves. That said here are a few hints from my younger days for looking for sexmates and not girlfriends: First of all shower and go very light on the deoderant and nearly no cologne. You need to smell like a man. Don't dress perfectly, things need to be a little out of place. Go out to the clubs/bars after 1am. As stated above stay away from dating Q&A's and personal stuff. Buy a club soda and walk the club. Try to make eye contact and actually hold it. Try a second time if not move along. If the eye contact holds then try your pickup technique (if you dont have one then by trial and error you'll get one within a few weeks). Dont get discouraged by turn downs. On average I would have gone up to 10 or 20 women in a night. Sometimes I ended up with phone numbers or heavy touching or sometimes even sex. BTW go alone or with at most one other guy. If you go out with a group of the guys nothing will happen because you will then have Testosterone Poisoning (guys have a girl explain this too you).
As to dating, men have no clue of red flags. Want to scare a guy away be domineering and loud. Act like one of the guys instead of one of the girls. Men have no clue to womens dislikes. As I said earlier its not discussed. If you want him to know it, tell him. Most men dont know the limits of conversation. It is learned by trial and error.
Location: suburbs of NYC en route to southern Illinois
186 posts, read 219,430 times
Reputation: 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by NeilVA
They (we) can be. Most dont know how. They don't sit with the guys and talk about better dating techniques. They sit and talk about conquests (usually bigger than it actually is/was). Then later on try that conquest technique themselves. That said here are a few hints from my younger days for looking for sexmates and not girlfriends: First of all shower and go very light on the deoderant and nearly no cologne. You need to smell like a man. Don't dress perfectly, things need to be a little out of place. Go out to the clubs/bars after 1am. As stated above stay away from dating Q&A's and personal stuff. Buy a club soda and walk the club. Try to make eye contact and actually hold it. Try a second time if not move along. If the eye contact holds then try your pickup technique (if you dont have one then by trial and error you'll get one within a few weeks). Dont get discouraged by turn downs. On average I would have gone up to 10 or 20 women in a night. Sometimes I ended up with phone numbers or heavy touching or sometimes even sex. BTW go alone or with at most one other guy. If you go out with a group of the guys nothing will happen because you will then have Testosterone Poisoning (guys have a girl explain this too you).
As to dating, men have no clue of red flags. Want to scare a guy away be domineering and loud. Act like one of the guys instead of one of the girls. Men have no clue to womens dislikes. As I said earlier its not discussed. If you want him to know it, tell him. Most men dont know the limits of conversation. It is learned by trial and error.
And thats my tangent to this thread.
oh holy mother of god I've had the eye thing pulled on me like a thousand times. I always thought it was cute (if he was), innocent attraction. Now I see it was merely a nefarious pointed tactic discussed and planned as part of a specific agenda in a devious backroom by an inner circle of pick-up artist miscreants.
oh holy mother of god I've had the eye thing pulled on me like a thousand times. I always thought it was cute (if he was), innocent attraction. Now I see it was merely a nefarious pointed tactic discussed and planned as part of a specific agenda in a devious backroom by an inner circle of pick-up artist miscreants.
Well you did ask if we could be sluts. You dont think that woman do the same thing to get free alcohol and sexmates?? Do you know of anyone who actually got a working relationship from a club/bar?
Just remember to leave that sarcasm in NYC when you head to that small town in Illinois. A script for Xanax will be helpful. Also remember eye contact outside of NYS is a greeting and not a come-on.
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Let's stop right here before this gets ugly.
That'll probably be an early evening, with both of us going home alone.
