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If my car needed servicing, I would first evaluate what part on my car it was and how bad the problems were. If it wasn't that bad, well, I'd work on it myself.. Sure, I'd get advice and what-not, but if it's something small then I know that I don't need to go anywhere to get it fixed, because I'm capable of doing that myself. If it was pretty bad then yeah, I'd get it serviced - but I'd get it serviced by someone who I knew and trusted, by someone who I've known for many years. Finally, if the car was so bad that it'd cost me more than the car is worth, well, I'd sell the car to a salvage and get a new one..
Are we done playing cars yet? I'm getting kind bored with all the car-talk.
Good.. so lets move into real life, and let me explain my car-talk to you a little.
Thing is, as soon as you go out and cheat on your husband, guess what... that brings about all kinds of emotions and feelings that you really don't want, and more than that, it will put an end to your relationship. If not now, then later. For me, I'd be less worried about cheating and more worried about either getting your relationship fixed or deciding that the relationship isn't worth it. And then, figure out what to do.
Back to car-talk...
If the problems you argue about are minor, then don't argue. Compromise and communicate. Agree to disagree, and then agree to find somewhere in the middle to meet. Ask someone to help out if possible. With that said, you can't change him, you can only change how you are - how you react to him, etc. Maybe he doesn't want sex because he doesn't feel appreciated... ? It's a thought..
If the problems are major but fixable, well, again, compromise and communicate. Spend time with one another.. and get help. Find someone who you both trust to talk to, and get the issues resolved. Things don't fix themselves spontaneously, it takes work - a lot of work.
Finally, if things have gotten to a point where they simply cannot be mended, and you both have come to that agreement.. well, it may be time to part ways. I always always recommend that people work through their problems, but sometimes, and rarely, that's just not possible.
A final thought, you said "Well if he shut his big fat mouth, we wouldn't fight." Sounds like you're placing all the blame on him. Remember, it takes two to tango.. (I love that expression, now I just have to learn to tango and I'll be happy.) It takes two, always. Maybe if you change yourself a little, then he'll notice and change himself a little as well.. I'm assuming that you got married out of love, now it's just time to find that love again.
Once you do that, well, I doubt you'll have any issues even thinking about cheating.
If you were married and have not had sex in a year?
If your car needed servicing you would take it to a mechanic.
Well the same goes for me.
My "motor" needs servicing and I have my eyes set on a guy at work.
My husband has zero interest in sex. Usually we are arguing towards bedtime and he says "he can't get turned on when we fight". Well if he shut his big fat mouth, we wouldn't fight.
Intimacy between couples in a committed relationship take on more than a physical attraction. When you commit and get that connected, there is also an emotional attraction that connects you. No matter how beautiful one can be outwardly, that beauty has to be seen and felt inwardly. If it isn't, that's when being neglected is first felt.
I wouldn't have waited for a year to ask why you weren't being intimate. Intimacy doesn't always have to be sex. Just being cuddled or held at night to know you're loved and appreciated is also a form of intimacy. You have a serious void in your relationship and if you're looking elsewhere, I question if he hasn't already done so.
You need to be talking to him, not to us. Some men can't be in a relationship outside their marriage and still be intimate w/ their wife. You two need to talk. If you want him, fight for him.
Oh she's a man hater alright. Then again, she hates anyone who is allegedly guilty of a crime, even before the trial. She also borders on the obsessive and gets very passionate about prosecution. Usually when its a man who did the crime though she gets extra angry and cuts people off way more than usual. "OH HE DID IT, ITS OBVIOUS, PUT HIM AWAY NOW!!!" My mom watches it, and when I'm home I make fun of her.
I'd rather smash my own hand with a rubber mallet than listen to Nancy Grace speak.
I haven't done it yet.
I was wondering what others would do, calm down people.
The fantasy plays out well in my mind, although I don't know if my body can follow through with the fantasy.
I have thought of divorce, about a zillion times. In a year or so maybe I can afford it.
People LOVE to rattle off, "just get a divorce" easier said than done.
Does anyone actually do the math before suggesting divorce.
All the bills including full time daycare and part time daycare.
Its just not feasible.
I haven't done it yet.
I was wondering what others would do, calm down people.
The fantasy plays out well in my mind, although I don't know if my body can follow through with the fantasy.
I have thought of divorce, about a zillion times. In a year or so maybe I can afford it.
People LOVE to rattle off, "just get a divorce" easier said than done.
Does anyone actually do the math before suggesting divorce.
All the bills including full time daycare and part time daycare.
Its just not feasible.
You post with a completely cavalier attitude regarding your marriage. I don't see how you could expect any other type of response. You've not been laid in a year? TOUGH. Suck it up, talk to the hubby, or get the f*** out.
And, oh yeah...a YEAR? Pulleez. I know women than have done that times 12. Stop being such a wimp and start acting like an adult.
There is another option. Maybe she should tell her husband her motor needs servicing and she has her eye on a guy at work for the job and see what he says. You never know. Maybe he'd be happy to have someone else do the job if he's not up to it.
You know, I like what someone said about marriage/relationships being a contract. You sign a contract with a record label to promote your music, and don't go to another label if you are under contract. Same goes if you are under contract for employment - you can't take your knowledge or labor and just up and work for someone else while you are still under contract. If you do, in ANY case, you pay severe and sometimes irreparable penalties. Doesn't matter if you are happy with your record label or your employer contract - you signed it, you live with it until it expires or both parties agree to dissolve the contract.
How difficult is that to understand?
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