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Some people I know really think the actual act of dating is fun. Just for the sake of doing it. That's cool. Meeting new people, doing fun things, etc.
For me, it would be a means to an end - to find a partner.
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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It can go both ways...
When you are younger,(or really at any age) dating helps you discover who you are..and discover the kind of things which you would desire out of a relationship..or the person you are dating..Characteristics and such..Dating can be great..if you don't obsess over the insignificant details..
Dating also helps you eliminate everything which you would not want out of a relationship,or eventual spouse..That is if you aren't consciously ignorant of those red flags some of the undesirable people you will come across in your dating life...WILL present..loud and clear
Later on, you come to a point where you have gained enough self knowledge/confidence..as well as mastering all those "desired" traits which you are looking for in someone..and start attracting(unless you still aren't listening to the flashing red lights) the kind of people who may "fit" exactly what you are seeking..And with time will come that one person who stands out amongst all the rest..And then it is on to the next chapter in the relationship journey.... Just my opinion
well to me both. i want to have fun but have fun with a potential partner.
^^^ This is me. I will only date a man that I think is long term relationship or marriage material. And I don't mind being single for long periods of time if I don't meet up with a man that I am attracted to AND think is relationship material. Why compromise? And I wouldn't feel right finding "Mr. Right" while dating Mr. Mediocre and having to dump Mr. Mediocre to free myself up. I also refuse to do the FWB thing.
I think that my sex drive is just fine, but I am only interested in making love, and I'm not interested in having sex for the sake of fun or physical release or ego boosting. I feel there are many very enjoyable things to do in life, not just having sex. It's just the way my parents raised me I guess. And I would never date a man that thought having sex and looking at porn was the most enjoyable activity in his life. That would be a huge turn off for me. No sex machines need to apply here.
Otherwise, all my life I've had many great male platonic friends, and from spending time with them, I've gotten a good sense of what sort of personalities and traits I prefer in a boyfriend. So I haven't needed to do any actual field research by dating lots of different men in order to achieve the same purpose.
And I do think it a good idea to be in at least one long term serious relationship before getting married. I have no regrets about my romantic past and with each failed relationship, I learned how to sort out my priorities and do it better. Not sweating the small stuff and having a good sense of humour is key. As is having similar personal hygiene habits (non-smoking is included in this), partying styles, morals and long term life goals etc...
^^^ This is me. I will only date a man that I think is long term relationship or marriage material. And I don't mind being single for long periods of time if I don't meet up with a man that I am attracted to AND think is relationship material. Why compromise? And I wouldn't feel right finding "Mr. Right" while dating Mr. Mediocre and having to dump Mr. Mediocre to free myself up. I also refuse to do the FWB thing.
I think that my sex drive is just fine, but I am only interested in making love, and I'm not interested in having sex for the sake of fun or physical release or ego boosting. I feel there are many very enjoyable things to do in life, not just having sex. It's just the way my parents raised me I guess. And I would never date a man that thought having sex and looking at porn was the most enjoyable activity in his life. That would be a huge turn off for me. No sex machines need to apply here.
Otherwise, all my life I've had many great male platonic friends, and from spending time with them, I've gotten a good sense of what sort of personalities and traits I prefer in a boyfriend. So I haven't needed to do any actual field research by dating lots of different men in order to achieve the same purpose.
And I do think it a good idea to be in at least one long term serious relationship before getting married. I have no regrets about my romantic past and with each failed relationship, I learned how to sort out my priorities and do it better. Not sweating the small stuff and having a good sense of humour is key. As is having similar personal hygiene habits (non-smoking is included in this), partying styles, morals and long term life goals etc...
I would hope so, miu, you are the one who claims you are smack center in a 6 year serious relationship with a man, currently.
You confuse me by your speaking often from a single, non-committed standpoint.
You make very few references to your 6 year relationship that you mentioned thoroughly about in the college thread - not offering advice or the perspective of a woman in one, yet, often as a woman who has been single and searching for quite some time.
So as your being a woman in a 6 year relationship with your boyfriend, how long term should one be with another before marrying? Is your situation for fun or to lead to marriage?
Is it to find a compatible spouse, or is it simply for fun?
What do you think?
Personally I think it is to find a life-partner that you will marry.
I think it can be for either. Just dating for the sake of dating can be a lot of fun, if you're with an enjoyable person. It can also be exhausting.
The women I run into tend to disagree with me on the possibility that dating can be an end. If it isn't going somewhere fast, they get restless. I suppose my opinion is somewhere in between, it is just difficult for me to grasp why marriage is so urgent.
I don't think of dating as fun, more as a process to find someone your compatible with. I think women enjoy the process of dating much more as they are often the recipients of gifts, nice meals, extra attention, etc. in an attempt to win them over.
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