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It's almost 3am and I cant sleep. I feel so screwed up right now. Today I looked on my bf's phone and saw that he has messaged his friend a handful of pics of his exgf.. raunchy crotch shots. I know I shouldn't have looked on his phone but something inside told me to, and considering what I saw, I don't feel all that guilty for doing it.
He was in a relationship with her for a few years and we have been together about the same. I just don't get it. I don't get why he even still has them and why they're "still in use" after all these years. I don't get why he feels it's morally ok to pass them around to his friends. I don't like the idea that if we break up that he might do the same thing with my pics.
He claims that although he's not proud that he sent his friend those pics, because yes, it was sophomorish, it's just not that big a deal to him. He says he understands that I am upset about it but those pics really don't mean anything to him and he feels justified in sending them around because she cheated on him and he has no respect for her. He says he doesn't give a crap about the pics, that he has no attachment to them - he just wanted to show his friend who had been asking about them for awhile.
Is this what guys do? Show pictures around of their conquests? I just feel so crappy.. I know he doesnt want to be with her so that's not it, I just feel kindof stupid now, like his friends mean more to him somehow, that there are no boundaries when it comes to them. He claims there ARE boundaries, that I'm just making too much out of it. I just feel like I see him differently now. My sister says I had a peek into the workings of the male mind and it was a bit of a dose of reality for me - she says not all men are like this, that a more mature, less carefree man wouldn't do something like this. I feel like sh*t.
I know, and I feel sorry for her. She may have cheated but still, she took those just for him.. it was a very intimate and personal gift and little did she know. Now they're burned in my mind as well as his friends'.
I know this guy at work who always wants to show me pictures of his wife in her two piece bathing suit. Nothing really racy but still, I don't understand why he would want another guy lusting after his SO.
Same as he'd want you to lust after his brand new shiny Ferrari.
Bragging rights and one-upmanship.
Difference with a car is that it doesn't have feelings and wouldn't be offended to be paraded like a trophy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067
I know this guy at work who always wants to show me pictures of his wife in her two piece bathing suit. Nothing really racy but still, I don't understand why he would want another guy lusting after his SO.
If I were you, I would be extremely careful about letting him take or have any photos of you unless you are in a ski suit or burqa, preferably from a distance. If you ever break up, it won't matter what the reasons are. He'll disrespect you just as much as he disrespects her, and he will betray your privacy just as he betrayed hers, because that is the kind of person he is.
Start shopping for a .....new boyfriend. Someone who disrespects other people is liable to expose you to the same treatment when given an opening or chance to do so.
I know, and I feel sorry for her. She may have cheated but still, she took those just for him.. it was a very intimate and personal gift and little did she know. Now they're burned in my mind as well as his friends'.
Disgusting. I wouldn't be involved w/ someone that did that. Plus, isn't he breaking the law?? Hope you're positive he hasn't sent pics of you, you can't be awake all the time.
Start shopping for a .....new boyfriend. Someone who disrespects other people is liable to expose you to the same treatment when given an opening or chance to do so.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Any man who would do this to a woman he knows personally--ex-GF, ex-wife, whoever--is showing immaturity as well as lack of respect. (And why did he have pictures like this in the first place? There's more than meets the eye here.) This is a HUGE red flag and you can look forward to a rocky road romance if you continue with this man.
This is exactly what I was thinking. Any man who would do this to a woman he knows personally--ex-GF, ex-wife, whoever--is showing immaturity as well as lack of respect. (And why did he have pictures like this in the first place? There's more than meets the eye here.) This is a HUGE red flag and you can look forward to a rocky road romance if you continue with this man.
^^ Ditto...
I am sorry you are going through this, finding stuff like this about a loved one is tough, and dissapointing and plain heart breaking. Be strong, and ask yourself: Is this really the kind of man I want to be with? Only you can set boundaries and expectations in your relationship, and if you no longer feel you can trust him...
Good luck...
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