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It took me asking my wife, face to face, for her to admit she felt guilty about the affair. She still blamed me for it, though.
I doubted her sincerity, and I told her she was full of crap. She was responsible for her actions. She could have easily communicated with me, yet chose this easy way to fulfill her "emotional needs". She is still hung up on the guy as well...even though he wants nothing to do with her. Probably afraid his wife will find out.
Part of it is my fault, though. I should have seen the warning signs last year; working "late", lost weight, new emphasis on her looks, new lingerie (not that I got to see), texting constantly, hiding the texts from me, not wearing wedding band, neglecting household, ect...ect... I was just too naive to put it all together until February of this year. Concrete proof of the affair was just too much for me to forgive and we are in the process of a divorce.
To the OP, you should ask her directly. Sounds like your relationship might be able to work, but she needs to rebuild the trust.
Women also have affairs when they decide they want to be "party girls", hang out in bars with their "slutty" friends, take off their wedding bands, etc.
I should have seen the warning signs last year; working "late", lost weight, new emphasis on her looks, new lingerie (not that I got to see), texting constantly, hiding the texts from me, not wearing wedding band, neglecting household, ect...ect... I was just too naive to put it all together until February of this year.
When did that all start?
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAZ
Women also have affairs when they decide they want to be "party girls", hang out in bars with their "slutty" friends, take off their wedding bands, etc.
But I do see where you're coming from, as when infidelity is defined as breaking up a marriage, there usually is some other problem that precedes this "action".
While the extramarital sex is usually the "dealbreaker", it seems to me that the other issues could be resolved without a breakup.
Careful, some may misconstrue what you're saying and think all party girls are cheaters. The reality is that when women who are in relationships are out slutting it up at the club, cheating is a near inevitability...at some point. A one off girls night out might have a low probability of infidelity, but if she's going out a few times a week/month then eventually you'll get burned. This is why it's just a flat out bad idea for husbands/boyfriends to let their women go off unsupervised when drinking. All it takes is some smooth talker to come along and "one thing leads to another". I've said it before and I'll say it again, always have a friend you can trust either tag along, or end up at the same venue so she knows there are prying eyes and any untoward behavior WILL be getting back to you. Think of it as keeping your car's doors locked as keeping honest people honest. Crooks will still break in regardless, and a cheating ho will find a way to cheat regardless, but if she would have just slipped up then knowing she'd get busted for it gives that extra incentive not to let it get to that point. Make sense?
It was progressive from March of 2009, but started to come together in December.
I was incredibly naive, it took reading the forums and articles at Truth and Deception to piece it all together. Simply an exhausting year, with no gain. What a waste.
It took me asking my wife, face to face, for her to admit she felt guilty about the affair. She still blamed me for it, though.
I doubted her sincerity, and I told her she was full of crap. She was responsible for her actions. She could have easily communicated with me, yet chose this easy way to fulfill her "emotional needs". She is still hung up on the guy as well...even though he wants nothing to do with her. Probably afraid his wife will find out.
Part of it is my fault, though. I should have seen the warning signs last year; working "late", lost weight, new emphasis on her looks, new lingerie (not that I got to see), texting constantly, hiding the texts from me, not wearing wedding band, neglecting household, ect...ect... I was just too naive to put it all together until February of this year. Concrete proof of the affair was just too much for me to forgive and we are in the process of a divorce.
To the OP, you should ask her directly. Sounds like your relationship might be able to work, but she needs to rebuild the trust.
Sorry Bro.
Don't let her minipulate you into thinking it was your fault.
Whatever it was that was lacking is never a cause for cheating.
I am really happy to hear you are leaving and divorcing this gal.
Some women are bottomless pits. They think you should fill their emotional bucket every stinkin hour. Crazy.
Actually Yaz is right on the taking off of wedding bands. I have seen at the company Christmas parties some men and women take off their wedding bands or show up without them.
I have to give women credit for always havign their bases covered and always havign an excuse for something
They cheat because they got neglected emtionally..they want a man with allot of money becasue its a bioligcal thing of needing a "provider" or "ambition is sexy to them etc
Womenspeak is pretty clever
Yeah, womenspeak can be summed up in two sentences:
"I'm the eternal victim!" & "If I don't get what I want, then life is UNFAIR!"
oh and there is also "I can behave anyway I feel like, but when a man behaves the same way, he's a PIG!!!!!"
Don't understand how some people can let someone else shared something that's suppose to be intimate and private.. that you should be sharing with your SO (unless it was an open relationship or swingers' lifestyle).
I have never gotten cheated on nor ever cheated so I don't know. Just still don't understand it.
Hopefully the OP and his ''wife'' got proper counseling. I think the recover will probably take about 5+ years.
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