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... I know she's been disappointed (she told me), but I made it very clear that I thought she was a great girl, and I wanted to keep developing the friendship.
Anyway, she made a thread on the local forum, and called me "shallow" for "not seeing her inner beauty". Then went on to say that "men are shallow for not seeing her for who she is on the inside, and not what she looks like".
But this is what gets me: about 25% of the female responses in the thread agree with her. WTF???
Did she say in her post that you had told her you were gay and then go on to accuse you of being shallow, etc.? I only ask because it's very obvious that people who post on forum threads often just don't read properly. They see a couple of words, scan a couple of sentences and then rattle off a response which sometimes bears no relationship whatsoever to the OP as they've skipped over some of the most important points.
That 25% may just fall into that category and think they're commiserating with a gal who they perceive as having invested time in a (straight) guy who out of the blue turns around and "dumps" her. Just a thought!
You could also set the record straight directly on that forum. Good luck!
I'd change the title to ONE WOMAN thinks I'm shallow. Where in this thread did YOU mention that SHE said in the thread that you were gay?
I sounds like the WOMEN are responding to an imagined straight guy and we all know that there are lots of shallow people out there....if we don't, just hang around this forum awhile and you'll see.
Basically she has esteem issues but somehow the whole story isn't being told...either by you or her.
She told them I'm gay, and they STILL went off on the shallow tangent. That's what I don't understand. I couldn't care less what they think. If that's what they want to think, then more power to them.
I'm just very surprised that people would say that in the first place. I'm not mad at her at all. I know that rejection, regardless of why, can easily cause someone to be upset. I've been very politely let go in the past, and have wrongly lashed out at the person doing the rejecting, so I understand her actions.
But many of my close gay friends were guys that I dated briefly, but for one reason or another, it didn't work out. There may have been hard feelings at first, but in time, it developed into an excellent friendship, and all that old stuff eventually became water under the bridge.
Even though she and I never dated, I think that in time, once her feelings subside, we can resume developing the friendship. I think she's an amazing girl.
i think i have a "gay" radar so I wouldve given you the time of the day
Sorry I don't understand this response....are you not giving him the time of day because he's gay or because he's not dating material?
Either one doesn't have anything to do with a woman who basically thought she could turn him around is now slamming him.
My best friend and the best roommate I ever had is gay. We have a blast together.
She's just venting and the others are probably just blindly supporting her.
You could call her on it... but then again I'm just evil sometimes
I'm on your side. I thought everyone knew what "gay" meant. Never mind, my bad, I'm forgetting about the select few who see it as a challenge and think they'll be the 'one' who can straighten you out. Pun! Heh!
I'm a member of a local forum here in Louisiana. As a long-time forum member, I've actually made some excellent offline friendships with a few other forum members. "Jane" was one of them.
We hung out for about a month or so, always platonically, and she never gave me any indication that she was remotely interested. Finally, she asked me out on an official date about a week ago. Being the nice guy I am, I very politely told her thanks, but I'm actually gay.
Anytime a woman has hit on me in the past, and I tell her I'm gay, it's always been an instant buddy-buddy thing. Nothing taken personally at all. But this case was different.
I know she's been disappointed (she told me), but I made it very clear that I thought she was a great girl, and I wanted to keep developing the friendship.
Anyway, she made a thread on the local forum, and called me "shallow" for "not seeing her inner beauty". Then went on to say that "men are shallow for not seeing her for who she is on the inside, and not what she looks like".
But this is what gets me: about 25% of the female responses in the thread agree with her. WTF??? I'm gay. Have we become so politically correct with this whole "it's about what's on the inside that counts", that a GAY GUY is now called shallow, for not having romantic feelings for a woman? Using that argument, would you call a str8 guy shallow for not being interested in me? I think not.
Sorry for the long post, but this whole experience has been a little strange.
It looks to me that there's 2 issues here. She most likely called you shallow because she's embarrassed that she spent time, and eventually ended up hitting on, a gay guy. She was probably thinking she is so hot she could have changed you if you were inclined. Then she posts that men are shallow for not seeing her 'inner' beauty. She may have meant 'OTHER MEN' not necessarily you, and she is most likely frustrated with dating and was venting. The other posters were probably agreeing with her frustration. I don't think I'd bother worrying about it. The other posters certainly don't know you and most likely never will. Kate Hepburn once said, 'I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true.' I think I'd take that advice.
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but then again I'm just evil sometimes
