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In the long run, yes, I agree people need a life partner to be happy and satisfied with their life - but short term? No, I don't agree. I strongly feel that only desperate people who are not happy with themselves as individuals need a romantic interest/partner 100% of the time to be happy. You can claim your opinion as "fact of life" all you want, it's still your opinion and I still disagree with it.
Okay, no problem. Romance and sex is a spice of life, it has nothing to do with being desperate. Especially if a heart suffers with longing for an unavailable person. This is what this thread about anyway.
Yes, it's the easiest way to get over that other person. The relationship with the person that IS available should overpower any imaginary relationship going on in your head.
Then it's a platonic love. We're talking about if you still have a romantic love for someone.
The question may be - if that person's "other" found out about (in my case) HIS feelings for me, albeit unacted upon, would that person be bothered - in a traditional sort of relationship?
The answer is almost assuredly - YES!!! Again, in a traditional type of relationship.
We do not take our feelings in any physical way further than friendship but what we share is far deeper than two buddies who just kinda dig each other. There is no turning off love - but there IS "no acting upon it".
I don't think our love is technically "platonic" but it is physically platonic & it is not discussed further than that of friends who are near & dear in one another's hearts.
The question may be - if that person's "other" found out about (in my case) HIS feelings for me, albeit unacted upon, would that person be bothered - in a traditional sort of relationship?
The answer is almost assuredly - YES!!! Again, in a traditional type of relationship.
We do not take our feelings in any physical way further than friendship but what we share is far deeper than two buddies who just kinda dig each other. There is no turning off love - but there IS "no acting upon it".
I don't think our love is technically "platonic" but it is physically platonic & it is not discussed further than that of friends who are near & dear in one another's hearts.
So you're saying you still have urges to have romantic involvement with this person, even if you don't act on it?
I agree you can have strong bonds with friends - more than just "buddies who kinda dig each other". But I think if you have no desire to be romantic with that person, it is platonic. And if you still do have desires to be romantic with that person, I still believe it can be risky to get romantically involved in someone else.
So you're saying you still have urges to have romantic involvement with this person, even if you don't act on it?
I agree you can have strong bonds with friends - more than just "buddies who kinda dig each other". But I think if you have no desire to be romantic with that person, it is platonic. And if you still do have desires to be romantic with that person, I still believe it can be risky to get romantically involved in someone else.
I'm not certain precisely what you mean about "romantic urges"... Are you asking if I still want to have sex with him or if I still dream of a day to day real life partnership with him? Or something else entirely?
I'm not speaking of two people who perceive or live out their love in any sort of traditional sense. We believe that true love never dies or fades.
People who've truly loved another but moved on to a new relationship and claim no love or connection (in my opinion) are hiding it, faking it, or straight up lying because it's what most "others" want to hear.
I have no delusions of a romantic relationship (meaning day to day partnership) with this person. Who he's found for his queen is truly meant to be his queen. They are a match made in heaven & I love how they love one another.
Their love does not negate our love - neither does one diminish the other. I honour, respect, & value her deeply - especially all that she's brought to the life of someone who will always be treasured in my heart & soul. I love her by way of loving him.
Are we still physically attracted to one another? Yes. If we chose to, when we are near one another, we could act upon our love by expressing it through our sexuality - we choose not to.
We love each other & want the very highest good one for the other. I wish to have a life partner. He wishes the same for me. If we remain tied so closely together that all my love energy flows to him - I will not be leaving my heart & spirit open & receptive to loving my King when he comes along.
I will always love him. Whomever I meet, when we get to some serious point in our dating, will know the full depths of this. If he is MY KING, he will embrace this truth & know of my faithfulness to our bond while forever remaining true in my heart to that love who helped mold & shape my spirit to be prepared for him, My True King.
I love him truly, madly, deeply, unconditionally, & forevermore... but he is not my life mate. So, onward I continue, in a separate direction than him - with our hearts remaining forever tied. If that's romantic - then okay. Platonic certainly sounds a bit too sterile for it... but labels have never much been my thing!
I love him truly, madly, deeply, unconditionally, & forevermore... but he is not my life mate. So, onward I continue, in a separate direction than him - with our hearts remaining forever tied. If that's romantic - then okay. Platonic certainly sounds a bit too sterile for it... but labels have never much been my thing!
queen thinky
Perhaps you love him truly, madly, deeply and unconditionally, but if he is choosing to love another woman while disregarding your emotions, then its probable he does not feel as much for you as you do for him. In other words, it is an illusion, and he is the master of illusion.
Perhaps you love him truly, madly, deeply and unconditionally, but if he is choosing to love another woman while disregarding your emotions, then its probable he does not feel as much for you as you do for him. In other words, it is an illusion, and he is the master of illusion.
Ahhh, but that would be YOU putting your set of morals, judgments, ethos upon our particular circumstances. I began with my first posting stating that we have not confined our relationship nor our love to traditional standards - but you are trying to fit it/us into that.
We love one another equally. There is no contest or need for measurement. I am not meant to be his queen/wife - not in a 1000 years. His queen is his perfect life mate. What I share w/ him is something far different than what he shares w/ his life mate. She & I are very similar in many many ways - but so very different in others that it's as if we're polar opposites. He needs, in a life mate, what she brings to his life.
He also needs, in his heart, soul, & life what our love brings to him. What we've needed from one another has grown, changed, evolved over our ten +years. We're now at a different place where I've discovered that I have a desire for a day to day life partner myself. So we've now evolved to another new phase.
There is no illusion & if there's a master of it - he/she does not dwell amongst us.
You must let go of your concept of love being limited to one... Let of of the concept that & if someone you love also chooses to love another & even form a bond with that other that appears, to traditional beliefs, as greater - then somehow they are deceiving you or you are being deceived or it's all an illusion... Well, you MUST, only if you care to begin to understand our version of love. If not, carry on w/ what works for you.
He'd readily describe our bond similarly - but a bit less "ether" like - as he's more of a practical terms sort of person.
What we share transcends space, time, distance, separation... it's been one of my greatest teachers & when I find my King - he'll have much thanks to give!
Thinky
Last edited by think.reciprocity; 10-14-2009 at 01:50 AM..
Ahhh, but that you would be YOU putting your set of morals, judgments, ethos upon our particular circumstances. I began with my first posting stating that we have not confined our relationship nor our love to traditional standards - but you are trying to fit it into that.
We love one another equally. There is no contest or need for measurement. I am not meant to be his queen/wife - not in a 1000 years. His queen is his perfect life mate. What I share w/ him is something far different than what he shares w/ his life mate. She & I are very similar in many many ways - but so very different in others that it's as if we're polar opposites. He needs, in a life mate, what she brings to his life.
He also needs, in his heart, soul, & life what our love brings to him. What we've needed from one another has grown, changed, evolved over our ten +years. We're now at a different place where I've discovered that I have a desire for a day to day life partner myself. So we've now evolved to another new phase.
There is no illusion & if there's a master of it - he/she does not dwell amongst us.
You must let go of your concept of love being limited to one & if someone you love also chooses to love another & even form a bond with that other that appears, to traditional beliefs, as greater - then somehow they are deceiving you or you are being deceived or it's all an illusion... Well, you MUST, only if you care to begin to understand our version of love. If not, carry on w/ what works for you.
He'd readily describe our bond similarly - but a bit less "ether" like - as he's more of a practical terms sort of person.
What we share transcends space, time, distance, separation... it's been one of my greatest teachers & when I find my King - he'll have much thanks to give!
Thinky
You're right. I was giving my own judgement on the situation. In my life, loving a man and being loved by him means walking together in the same road. I guess I could love another man as well and he could love another woman. But in my life, the man I love the most will be my main love. He will come first and I expect the same in return. Its not really about morality, more like I think romantic love should lead naturally to the beloved. If it doesn't, then its not true. I actually do expect a man to put me first before money and other women. Anything else, and I would call his love flimsy or untrue.
What you are describing does sound like there is love and only you know how much has happened between the two of you. But I would call it a spiritual love, more than a romantic love, which I agree has its own value in and of itself.
You're right. I was giving my own judgement on the situation. In my life, loving a man and being loved by him means walking together in the same road. I guess I could love another man as well and he could love another woman. But in my life, the man I love the most will be my main love. He will come first and I expect the same in return. Its not really about morality, more like I think romantic love should lead naturally to the beloved. If it doesn't, then its not true. I actually do expect a man to put me first before money and other women. Anything else, and I would call his love flimsy or untrue.
What you are describing does sound like there is love and only you know how much has happened between the two of you. But I would call it a spiritual love, more than a romantic love, which I agree has its own value in and of itself.
I think we can agree with "spiritual love" - despite my aversion to labels... lol
It's something that has fully redefined my life - in every aspect & I know it has done the same for him. We've journeyed through some things few, if any, relationships would survive & I am not exaggerating. We've always found our way through to the other side... more complete, more enlightened, move loving - unconditionally so, more our authentic selves, & more able to give/receive the very best/highest goodness in life.
It's something many people would feel jealous or competitive about... but not our mates. No need. We've expanded our hearts, spirits, awareness to levels that allow for great abundance & zero need for jealousy. Our love for one another expands our capacity for loving our mates... it expands the depths of that love... and our awareness of just how precious & vital that life mate is for us - it subtracts nothing.
It's a beautiful thing... even more so when my slow King finds his way to me... lol!
(now, I didn't say it was always easy... but it has all been more than worth it!)
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Romance and sex is a spice of life, it has nothing to do with being desperate. Especially if a heart suffers with longing for an unavailable person. This is what this thread about anyway.
