Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you are currently married or engaged is it possible that even though you think you are happy and deeply in love with your spouse that you could fall for someone else?
Is there someone else out there that is so perfect that he/she would make you fall in love again?
The world is full of people who have affairs, but common thinking is that they are doing it for sex, or because they are in a loveless marriage. Would it be possible that you personally could be in a great loving marriage but still fall in love with someone else while you are married?
What would it take for you to fall in love with someone else while you personally were married?
So your real question is - "Do you think you could ever cheat on your spouse?".
The answer is NO.
That's what this is all about.
Do I think I would ever meet someone who, in terms of physical beauty and personality, would take my breath away? Someone whose total package would cause me to think about them all the time?
I know my personality. The answer is yes.
Now would I ever pursue any such woman, if I ever encountered her?
Location: where the moss is taking over the villages
2,184 posts, read 5,552,191 times
Reputation: 1270
To answer OP: I was in "that place" once & took the plunge: left my marriage for someone I felt was my soulmate. I'd known him for years & always wanted him. When he gave the green light, I told him my conditions, which he kept: to take care of me (which he did within his means). I didn't know the conditions should have included indisputable fidelity & honesty.
Here's my problem with "love"... Sometimes "love" is too much like a "houseplant"... it doesn't always last very long. This guy I thought was "Mr. Right" was Mr Right for too many women. He couldn't say NO. So that was that & it ended after about 6 years.
The relationships with the perfect "chemistry" aren't always the ones that are otherwise compatible - the chemistry based relationships always last too long...
My Mr. Boyfriend that I found in 2004, I hope is the last of a long succession of romances. I want this one to last & it has tons of chemistry. The problems aren't the same as in the past: so I hope history isn't repeating itself. Seems just right but lots of work...
Hmmm. "A woman's work is never ending." So that's what that means... Anyway, I don't have any PLAN B like I did in former years. It's either this relationship or none. I'm not up for playing the field again.
As for beautiful people who can take one's breath away: certainly, all the time. There's lots of room for beautiful people! I just don't want to sleep with them. I know how good it could be without venturing out of my imagination. The imagination is so much safer anyway. And then no one else even knows. Moot point then. No one ever gets hurt.
Maybe we married our spouse during a time in our lives that we had less options. Maybe that has changed and now we have more money, more power, more social options, more confidence and the ability to attractive a far more attractive (in all ways) mate or lover. What then? Do we throw away the new ability to attract a higher quality love?
I know this sounds like a Hollywood Actor who dumps his wife once he hits the big time and now has woman he could never attract throwing themselves at him. But we have different options at different times of our life and what was great once is not so great anymore when we move up in life.
Last edited by Brainy Intellectual Type; 10-19-2009 at 03:05 PM..
Maybe we married our spouse during a time in our lives that we had less options. Maybe that has changed and now we have more money, more power, more social options, more confidence and the ability to attractive a far more attractive (in all ways) mate or lover. What then? Do we throw away the new ability to attract a higher quality love?
Well, if you wanted a "higher quality love," you shouldn't have married the one you married. Stay single if the one you are with is not Mr. or Ms. Right. It's not fair to her or him.
Maybe we married our spouse during a time in our lives that we had less options. Maybe that has changed and now we have more money, more power, more social options, more confidence and the ability to attractive a far more attractive (in all ways) mate or lover. What then? Do we throw away the new ability to attract a higher quality love?
I don't think there is such thing as "higher quality love".
I think what you are talking about is different from your original question. Although I do think that it's possible to fall in love while being happily married, I don't think that it's the right decision to pursue this love and leave the marriage. You must have heard the expression "the grass is greener on the other side".
Falling in love is an exciting feeling, but it's temporary nevertheless. I think if you are no longer happy in the marriage, or rather if you are plain existing and not living, then you might need to re-evaluate this situation regardless whether or not you fell in love with someone else.
Maybe we married our spouse during a time in our lives that we had less options. Maybe that has changed and now we have more money, more power, more social options, more confidence and the ability to attractive a far more attractive (in all ways) mate or lover. What then? Do we throw away the new ability to attract a higher quality love?
It all depends on what's at stake, and how important your own happiness is and whether it's more important to pursue someone else or remain in your marriage or family. You also have to determine if what you are feeling is truly love for another person, or something else. It's easier to think you are in love with someone else when you have empty spaces in your life or when you start daydreaming about the ideal relationship with that person. A lot of people are in love with love, and the idea of love. Something new always looks promising and refreshing when your marriage starts losing it's luster. It's different for each individual and not fair to judge those who would say they can fall in love with someone else. It has nothing to do with cheating. You can manage your emotions, but you can't control who you will fall in love with, you can only control your actions not what you feel inside.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
