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Yeah. Unless you live in a place where life is the same generation after generation or there is little chance of your changing because of your exposure to the rest of the world, education, etc...your 20s is a tumultuous maelstrom of growth and change. Very few people can and will be the same...I think late twenties/early 30s is really the best time for most people to go lookin' for marriage.
I agree.
People need to be older so they are fully grown up and know what they want.
I think I am starting to feel the same way on that one. I outgrew every single person so far. All in the 20's and they all say I changed. Which I may of being that I was doing thing for change when they just kept doing the same thing. I am now getting the honest insider info on the 30's life that got hitched in the 20's. NO ONE is happy it seems. My only happy friends are my single friends. I am so glad I did not try to have kids in my 20's.....So glad.
I really don't know if there is a safe age to get hitched..maybe 40? 50?
People do change yes, but I think in a marriage it's important to work to maintain the bond you have with someone. There isn't anything wrong with wanting some separate interests. However, when people place more importance on career or other goals than they do they relationship, it is only a matter of time before it crumbles. That is the sad truth.
I think I am starting to feel the same way on that one. I outgrew every single person so far. All in the 20's and they all say I changed. Which I may of being that I was doing thing for change when they just kept doing the same thing. I am now getting the honest insider info on the 30's life that got hitched in the 20's. NO ONE is happy it seems. My only happy friends are my single friends. I am so glad I did not try to have kids in my 20's.....So glad.
I really don't know if there is a safe age to get hitched..maybe 40? 50?
LOL 50, but then no one would have children...
I had a friend remark everyone that is married is disatisfied....I think marriage is harder and harder then ever before, add in bad economy, lack of social ties and disconnection.
People do change yes, but I think in a marriage it's important to work to maintain the bond you have with someone. There isn't anything wrong with wanting some separate interests. However, when people place more importance on career or other goals than they do they relationship, it is only a matter of time before it crumbles. That is the sad truth.
Yes seperate interests are ok and actually good. Too much togetherness can actually be detriment to relationship like maybe a female who has no friends or male with no hobbies. I do think you are right about those who put more importance on career and other goals rather then relationship. What if one partner is unhappy and the other purusing everything for themselves? That imbalance chips away at a relationship.
People do change yes, but I think in a marriage it's important to work to maintain the bond you have with someone. There isn't anything wrong with wanting some separate interests. However, when people place more importance on career or other goals than they do they relationship, it is only a matter of time before it crumbles. That is the sad truth.
It isn't always about the strength of that bond between two people. Often, people change in fundamental ways that makes them no longer compatible. For example, suppose you start out as a couple who absolutely does not want to have kids. But then as you get older, one of you decides they want to have kids. Here's another example. Maybe you're both non-practicing Christians. Then one day, one of you decides to fully embrace your religion, but the other person has no interest. Now, the person who's been born again no longer feels a deep connection with their partner, because their faith is such a big part of who they are now, but it's not something that's important to their partner. I think one reason people drift apart is because they realize the things they originally bonded over weren't that deep to begin with. Maybe they both had a love of sports or music. But over time, their tastes changed. Now they don't have something deeper to fall back on. I've seen couples who reach a point where they have nothing in common but their kids. And once the kids move out, they have nothing left to talk about.
What about those married couples that don't even live in the same house together? Know anyone? I thought that was kinda pointless. I just don't understand the efforts.
We all change, grow, and mature. My experience is that you have to work to stay connected to your SO and not ever let anything interfere with your relationship. Yes, in real life, things happen but you always need to get back to what's important and give it the priority it deserves.
If you look back on ruined relationships there's almost always a point or time period when one party or the other decided something else was more important. Lots of times, it's kids/family responsibilities. If you don't find a way to reconnect intimately, you are doomed by the passing of time. Your SO will not recover from years of being ignored or simply a TO DO item on your list.
We all change, grow, and mature. My experience is that you have to work to stay connected to your SO and not ever let anything interfere with your relationship. Yes, in real life, things happen but you always need to get back to what's important and give it the priority it deserves.
You get to choose what's important. Pick wisely.
I agree. But sometimes who you are and what you really want are hard to distinguish in a vacuum. It's not until you are exposed to certain things or placed into certain situations that it becomes apparent which direction your life is meant to go. And then it's not really anyone's fault or lack of commitment or sharing or whatever.
I had a friend remark everyone that is married is disatisfied....I think marriage is harder and harder then ever before, add in bad economy, lack of social ties and disconnection.
Haa haa...well no one said you had to. Personally I would probably adopt at that age. Women in my family have babies in the mid 40's and no one goes meno until late 60's...so maybe this long wait should be just for me. LOL
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