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I'm 35 years old. I have two children. One is 18 and the other is 14. I divorced their father - it was final this year. But about a year ago I met a man that I believe to be the true love of my life. He is 44. He also has a daughter that is 16. The problem - he lives in Canada and I live in Kentucky.
I decided after discussing with my kids and meeting him and spending time with him that I wanted to move to Canada to be with him. We planned on getting married. My daughter decided since she was of age that she didnt want to move there. My son decided that he would move there with me, then he changed his mind and decided he would rather stay in Kentucky with his other family and his Dad.
We wanted this to work out so badly. We both feel as if we are each others soul mate.
One problem is that I dont feel right about going to Canada with my kids and all my family here. But he doesnt want to leave Canada because he feels like it is a better country - safer and better opportunities than the USA.
I have been given advice from family and friends and its all conflicting. I can't make my kids move - I want them to be happy.
For the first time in 15 years I am truly happy with this man.
I would love for him and his daughter to move here with me, just until my son gets a little older.
I have tried staying in Canada, I came back to visit often, but this too is hard on all of us.
I have been out of work for about 6 months and I finally have a job opportunity in Kentucky and would like to work here and at least build up some funds.
But he doesnt want me to do that. He wants me to come back right away and we will get married in the Spring. At which time I would be able to work there.
When I told him I would like to work here for a few months, he said I just lost my man. http://pics3.city-data.com/forum/images/icons/icon9.gif
Im so sad, hurt, disappointed, torn....any advice someone could give would be greatful.
Selena
by now i am sure you know your heart is not infallible. your #1 priority til they are 18 is your kids.
after that you can go back to dating and living your own life.
Your kids should come first, in my opinion. Perhaps things would work out with this guy, perhaps not. Either way, you're showing your kids that your desire for your own happiness is greater than theirs.
If it is not possible for you to relocate at this time but are willing to in the future would he consider coming to the US for an agreed upon amount of time?
I know it's hard where the heart is involved, but I'd let him go. If it is that easy for him to bail, all while you are the one making the sacrifices, buh bye.
I'm 35 years old. I have two children. One is 18 and the other is 14. I divorced their father - it was final this year. But about a year ago I met a man that I believe to be the true love of my life. He is 44. He also has a daughter that is 16. The problem - he lives in Canada and I live in Kentucky.
I decided after discussing with my kids and meeting him and spending time with him that I wanted to move to Canada to be with him. We planned on getting married. My daughter decided since she was of age that she didnt want to move there. My son decided that he would move there with me, then he changed his mind and decided he would rather stay in Kentucky with his other family and his Dad.
We wanted this to work out so badly. We both feel as if we are each others soul mate.
One problem is that I dont feel right about going to Canada with my kids and all my family here. But he doesnt want to leave Canada because he feels like it is a better country - safer and better opportunities than the USA.
I have been given advice from family and friends and its all conflicting. I can't make my kids move - I want them to be happy.
For the first time in 15 years I am truly happy with this man.
I would love for him and his daughter to move here with me, just until my son gets a little older.
I have tried staying in Canada, I came back to visit often, but this too is hard on all of us.
I have been out of work for about 6 months and I finally have a job opportunity in Kentucky and would like to work here and at least build up some funds.
But he doesnt want me to do that. He wants me to come back right away and we will get married in the Spring. At which time I would be able to work there.
When I told him I would like to work here for a few months, he said I just lost my man. http://pics3.city-data.com/forum/images/icons/icon9.gif
Im so sad, hurt, disappointed, torn....any advice someone could give would be greatful.
Selena
Aw Selena, the reality is true love waits. If this man loved you, he would find a way. He would go to the end of the world to be with you! It is the man's reponsibilty to court and pursue you!! So sorry, Love.
That's really a tough one. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't have any advice other than follow your instincts since they never lead you astray.
I know it's hard where the heart is involved, but I'd let him go. If it is that easy for him to bail, all while you are the one making the sacrifices, buh bye.
This is what I'm thinking.
If you were the love of his life, then that man would cross mountains, wait for years, and get the moon for you if he had to.
It sounds kind of like you're only an option to him.
no, tried that too. he is not willing to move what-so-ever
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