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Have you ever failed in a relationship because your S.O. had a quirk about something you did and you didn't stop because you knew you didn't fit the mold.
Example: your wifes father was a major alcoholic, vanished for days when he got paid, so she says I don't want you drinking but you do anyways because you function fine, you work, don't drive drunk and are responsible....etc etc.
Everyone has baggage. The trick is being able to negotiate solutions. Will she end up being reasonable?
You can't ever drink is not reasonable. Even if you consider why she feels this way. You have to find a middle ground that's acceptable to both of you. Perhaps that might be you can't drink and drive.
If you can't find middle ground, there's trouble coming down the road. Relationships are all about compromise. If she can't compromise, bail.
Have you ever failed in a relationship because your S.O. had a quirk about something you did and you didn't stop because you knew you didn't fit the mold.
Example: your wifes father was a major alcoholic, vanished for days when he got paid, so she says I don't want you drinking but you do anyways because you function fine, you work, don't drive drunk and are responsible....etc etc.
With that example, she shouldn't impose her damage about her dad on her hubby. He's an adult and can drink if he wants to as long as it doesn't affect the family negatively, at which time they'd both have some decisions to make.
Have you ever failed in a relationship because your S.O. had a quirk about something you did and you didn't stop because you knew you didn't fit the mold.
Example: your wifes father was a major alcoholic, vanished for days when he got paid, so she says I don't want you drinking but you do anyways because you function fine, you work, don't drive drunk and are responsible....etc etc.
If a person is with someone who drinks and it is an issue for them, I personally think they need to move on to someone who doesn't.
On the other hand a person who is asked to stop something they have no intention of, they should be up front and tell the asking party it isn't going to happen.
Yeah, that sounds more like her problem than yours.
It's sad and painful that she has this negative association with alcohol, but it's neither your fault nor your problem. And her association with it with regards to everyone else in her life is unfair.
OP, stand your ground. Whilst relationships are about compromise, in my mind this does not mean sacrificing things you like to do, or interests that give you enjoyment.
I think speak with her and tell her that you're not prepared to fore go drinking, since you are not her father.
Have you ever failed in a relationship because your S.O. had a quirk about something you did and you didn't stop because you knew you didn't fit the mold.
Example: your wifes father was a major alcoholic, vanished for days when he got paid, so she says I don't want you drinking but you do anyways because you function fine, you work, don't drive drunk and are responsible....etc etc.
Quirk, it can sometimes be worked out? My issue with women is a matter of security, protection and could save my or my family's life. That issue is non negotiable. It is my responsibility to make sure under any circumstance I can protect myself and loved ones. Rugged
I can certainly understand why she feels as she does. Why don't you just stop drinking?
A. You don't care for her anyway.
B. You have a drinking problem. (Meaning you want her, but you want your drink more.)
C. You don't want anyone telling you what to do.
She probably hates drinking because she saw what it did to her father. My late wife wouldn't drink at all because her mother was an alcoholic and she was afraid she'd have a weakness to it. She never asked me to stop drinking, but I quit anyway, just because if she didn't drink, I didn't need it either.
It's also possible that your S.O. recognizes that you have a drinking problem that you don't see. Most drinkers don't recognize their own drinking problems until after everyone else does.
I agree with the above posts, except the one right above this one. I don't think your problem is lack of caring, no person should pay for the sins of another. You have to tell your wife that you are not her father and it's unfair for her to try to do you what she can't with him. (And just to be fair, you should probably mention that this is hurting your marriage - and leave before starting a new relationship). Good Luck.
I love to eat meat, my wife is not so keen on it but she'll eat it. Mainly chicken and sometimes beef (turkey of course). However I really like lamb. She didn't like that fact about me and wanted me to give it up entirely. So I compromised and made a deal with her. I won't buy it to eat in the house, but if we're going out to dinner and its on the menu I should be allowed to eat it if I wanted to. I also pointed out to her that I would not stop her from eating what she wants and I'm not trying to rebel against her, I just want to enjoy the things that I like.
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