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My first marriage ended in divorce after twenty years. She filed three times in a year, and the third time I made up my mind that I couldn't afford her attorney fees any longer. After being single for 13 years I remarried. I married a friend I had known for over 10 years, who had been single for 17 years and had raised two kids by herself. We knew each other well and we planned on how we would live our lives together, before we got serious about marriage. She knew I didn't want to get remarried because of the treatment I received from my first wife. After 17 years we are still happily married, and the really strange part is, I'd do it again. We respect each other boundaries, there is absolutely no jealousy, we share a great deal of affection. I cook, clean, do the laundry sometimes, and other little duties that help her. But, most of all, I tell her every day that I love her. I didn't really pursue a relationship with her, it just happened. Today I look at what some of my male friends are married to and I want to run home to my wife and tell her how great she is. She makes me feel like the luckiest man alive.
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 02-27-2010 at 12:41 PM..
Reason: spelling
It really has nothing to do with one bad male apple spoiling the bunch. The liberation of women and their ongoing struggle for independence and equality has practically destroyed the notion of romance and chivalry. Men aren't allowed to be men anymore, unless you're gay and willing to be totally submissive, tail between legs, to the ultra-dominant, feminist woman, straight or lesbian. I send flowers to the women in my family, nobody else. I rarely send flowers or surprise gifts to any woman, unless she's a knockout tremendous physical specimen. I don't mind taking a chance in order to seeks the truths about the woman I'm pursuing. The hope is always that the quality of the woman on the inside matches the physical quality and beauty from the outside. When I'm dating, I don't send gifts of any kind until at least one year into the relationship when I know she'll appreciate my gesture and we're practically exclusive to each other. Why sends flowers or gifts to a chick that's probably getting the same stuff from other men, often not appreciating the honest effort put forth by the nice guy? Women these days are more inclined to send flowers back to the source destination in fear of not wanting to "lead on" the interested male, especially if she's not interested in him for whatever reasons. Some send flowers back because the guy who sent them may not meet her physical requirements, hence he passed off as a creep anyways. Besides, women send each other flowers at random, perhaps getting the romance they so desire from the men who used to be romantic but not anymore. Fine by me.
There actually is something like "Galfax" or "Guyfax" being done nowadays on the internet!
I think it's a great idea! There's certainly not enough drama in the world. You know, you go to "guyfax" and start reading all his crap from ex's and if you're honest, you won't stop there, you'll go to their "galfax" and start reading what he and other guys had to say about her...and the next thing you know...YOU'RE SPENDING ALL DAY LONG READING "EVERYBODIES FAX COMPLAINTS!!! Brilliant!
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As for the "many girls go for the faux-alphas" routine (told by Fairfaxian as quoted by brooklynnight)...
..Just remember that for every a-hole, there's gonna be a ****!
In short, girls/young women who go for douchebags are very likely to be douchettes themselves. Search no further than a "Jersey Shore" video on youtube. I suggest any young man treat as such young female as such, even if they merely seems like the type who would go for those meatheads.
Young men, just regard the douchettes the same whay you want women to regard the douches - as LOSERS (or Losettes, if you prefer the term). They likely won't be able to carry on a decent conversation with you anyway, so it's no big loss for you in the long run, or any "run' except perhaps the VERY short run.
As for the "many girls go for the faux-alphas" routine (told by Fairfaxian as quoted by brooklynnight)...
..Just remember that for every a-hole, there's gonna be a ****!
In short, girls/young women who go for douchebags are very likely to be douchettes themselves. Search no further than a "Jersey Shore" video on youtube. I suggest any young man treat as such young female as such, even if they merely seems like the type who would go for those meatheads.
I am not going to disagree with you on that. But what gets me is the women who go after meatheads, then they don't get treated the way they want to often claim the victim. And also they proclaim "all men" are jerks!!
Oh, you have plenty of time. Plenty of time. I'm guessing you don't want to hear that, but trust the old lady here, there is so much of life and so many things to see and do with your buddies yet, not to mention people to meet.
And not for nothing, but I do think a lot of my younger peers in the sisterhood don't have their heads on straight. I'm not talking about all of them, or even the majority of them, but a good number of them aren't going to be where you are yet.
Getting back to the whole generational thing--and forgive me for my Gen-X bias--but you're dealing with Millennials. I know you are one, but you don't sound like you have the bad traits that other Millennials are rapidly turning into a stereotype for your generation. Those negative traits are entitlement, self-absorption, impatience, short attention spans, oversharing at a distance (sharing the gories of their doctor's appointments on FB but not being able to have a conversation about the news in person), and obsession with bling. Getting back to what Wanneroo was saying about Baby Boomers, well, Baby Boomers are who raised Millennials, so there you go. Entitlement begets entitlement.
Don't get me wrong: There are good things in every generation and I don't want to turn this thread into an generational war zone. But whereas Gen-Xers were kind of, "meh, we'll get around to it, let's hike around Europe first" at your age and got a reputation as "slackers," Millennials are, "I want it all and I want it NOW and if you can't give it to me, I am going to move on," giving rise to a reputation as the Me Generation 2.0. There's not a whole lot of room for growing, much less growing in a relationship together. They're more concerned with the destination than the path.
It's just that life doesn't work that way--or, it shouldn't, as the ultimate destination is six feet under.
So, do what you've gotta do, focus where you've gotta focus, and enjoy the ride. There's no rush. Really.
Chronologically, I do have some time left. I just don't like being lonely.
As for the generational thing I don't know what has happened. I had an easier time talking to women in 2000(at age 14), than I do now. Personally I don't think it is so much everyone in Generation Y(or the Millenials as you call it), but the way people are taking technology.
I don't know if my generation is any less "slackers". I see some slackers in my generation. I think the difference is that everything changed so fast from 1996-2000, and then even faster from 2000 onward. I don't know if the changes have anything to do with me having a harder time talking to women and pursuing a girlfriend, but I don't like the changes that have happened since 2000.
There actually is something like "Galfax" or "Guyfax" being done nowadays on the internet!
I think it's a great idea! There's certainly not enough drama in the world. You know, you go to "guyfax" and start reading all his crap from ex's and if you're honest, you won't stop there, you'll go to their "galfax" and start reading what he and other guys had to say about her...and the next thing you know...YOU'RE SPENDING ALL DAY LONG READING "EVERYBODIES FAX COMPLAINTS!!! Brilliant!
At least now it takes a while to gather all the info. Hiring PIs, getting background checks, credit info etc. takes a bit longer. As always, people want things fast and easy, so I'm not surprised about GalFax actually existing.
As for the "many girls go for the faux-alphas" routine (told by Fairfaxian as quoted by brooklynnight)...
..Just remember that for every a-hole, there's gonna be a ****!
In short, girls/young women who go for douchebags are very likely to be douchettes themselves. Search no further than a "Jersey Shore" video on youtube. I suggest any young man treat as such young female as such, even if they merely seems like the type who would go for those meatheads.
Young men, just regard the douchettes the same whay you want women to regard the douches - as LOSERS (or Losettes, if you prefer the term). They likely won't be able to carry on a decent conversation with you anyway, so it's no big loss for you in the long run, or any "run' except perhaps the VERY short run.
I'm way ahead of you. With the douchettes, here are my rules:
1) Don't take any condensation nor rejection seriously.
2) When given the opportunity, hit it then split it.
3) Don't bother calling them back unless you have no other "plans" for the night.
4) Never consider these kinds of broads for relationship or even friend material.
At least now it takes a while to gather all the info. Hiring PIs, getting background checks, credit info etc. takes a bit longer. As always, people want things fast and easy, so I'm not surprised about GalFax actually existing.
Can you think of ANY ex that would give you a glowing recommendation? For the most part, that's why people become exes in the first place, because they did not like or respect something about the other person. The normative state for a break up is conflict--it is rare for two people to say to each other "This just isn't working out for us--we should end it amicably, and wish each other the best of luck. Keep in touch."
1. 45 is not exactly the prime dating years. You don't look as good as you used to look.
There are gorgeous 45 year old women, in fact there are more attractive woman than men in that age range. Some 45 year old woman look better than 25 year women.
2. Men in that age range are also no quite as woman obsessed. They have less desire.
Meaning boring
3. More women are taken, cynical or otherwise complicated. So why ask? Its not like in college when she is likely single.
4. Some men are pursing younger women and there are fewer of them. In that age range the numbers are skewed against women after 40.
The tables are turning, younger men find older woman more interesting and are pursuing them which will balance the men/women ratio.
Sorry to say but after 40 women need to start chasing men to get one that is suitable.
After 40 woman will maybe have to look where to find single men, but to start chasing..I don't think so!
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