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Girl got cold feet or Girl thought she'd do better. Girl didn't do better, so Girl remembered Guy. Guy said: you messed up my life enough; take a hike!
Indeed. I thought that as well. She probably thought she could do better, but didn't do better. Then she remembered her previous guy and now thought "he'll do".
I am this girl. Almost to a T. I have done this to someone right at a critical moment. There is really no way to rectify such a move. You have no idea what's going on in her head, neither does anyone here - it is totally up to you how you handle this.
If you choose to move forward with her, go slow. There is no quick cure for this situation. Good luck.
Move on and don't look back. Tell her you are involved with someone else. Do whatever it takes.
I don't care what her reasons are for doing what she did. It's just plain chicken **** that she couldn't talk to you when it happened. She doesn't deserve you.
Admittedly, I have not been in this type of situation, but the idea that she can leave on the 'eve' of our wedding and then come back 10 months later is insulting.
Besides, if she quit on you once, what prevents her from quitting again? Or when you have kids? Or in the middle of a crisis? Or during an illness? Etc...
At the very least I'd want to know what issues were coming up in theapy. If it's something that can be addressed then go ahead and proceed slowly, but only IF you honestly think she is the one for you. Otherwise just move along and keep the past in the past.
I wouldn't rule out trying to reconnect with her. I'm sure it took a lot for her to come back and open up to you. She is getting counseling which is a good start.
I'll share my story, it is somewhat similar but not to the extent of being engaged,buying a house, etc. My girlfriend and I were together for 2 years. She had moved in with me for about 2 months and we had the "marriage talk," etc, etc.
Well, she decides that for whatever reason, we shouldn't be together moves out. In hindsight, we both had our personal issues on which we needed to work but neither of us felt compelled to work on them.
We continued to talk sporadically because we had dogs that we bought together that were from the same litter and we both cared deeply about them. I came to a point where I just couldn't keep up the communication with her as I wanted to move on. We stopped talking and didn't see each other for an additional 9 months - so we were broken up for almost a year.
Out of the blue, she called to say hi and see what I was up to. She had moved out of state for another job. We talked on occassion and met for dinner one night when she was back in town. Things went very well and we decided to stay in touch as friends.
Long story short...we just celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary.
I was very hesitant about starting things back up with her. But I finally realized that I was happier with her in my life than without her. Now, we get along very well, communicate effectively and look forward to a long, healthy, happy marriage.
My story may be somewhat unique but I wanted to provide a different perspective. It's cliche but I think you have to follow your heart, just follow it slowly and from a short distance to start!
Girl got cold feet or Girl thought she'd do better. Girl didn't do better, so Girl remembered Guy. Guy said: you messed up my life enough; take a hike!
Long story short. Girl and Guy date for 6 years. Guy asks girl "Will you marry me?" Girls says Yes!!! Plan a wedding, everything is great. Buy a house, wedding is 1 month away, everything is great. Move into house, Girls says "I can't do this", leaves the ring, and you never hear so much as a peep from her.
Now fast foward 10 months from then, last friday, and Guy gets a phone call on his way home from work....guess who it is???
We ended up talking on the phone for over and hour an decided to meet somewhere to continue our converstation. Around 3am we decide to part ways but continue to talk to each other over the phone.
So, she ends up telling me the following things among other but you catch the drift -
I really screwed up, I can't imagine how bad I hurt you
I don't see myself with anybody else
I can't love somebody the way I love you
I want to be a part of your life again
I don't really know what to think about everything, its alot to process. It will take her moving a mountain to gain my trust to ever start a friendship again. She is taking counseling to try and get her life back on track as she admits to making poor decision which have cause most all of her relationships to suffer.
I have no idea how to handle this, has anybody gone through anything similar? Is it possible to become friends again or is that line to easy to cross again.
Thanks for everyting
I've seen this happen several times. Basically she got a case of what I call "grass is greener syndrome", ran off with another guy, they didn't work out, and now she realizes how much she screwed up and is afraid of being alone. In short, the you were demoted to being a backup plan if the new guy didn't work out, which is what's happening. Either they already split, or she's about to branch swing away from him.
My suggestion is to A) keep her at arm's length and not allow yourself to get invested, B) this is optional: reel her back in and just make her a FB, and likely what will happen anyway.... C) cut off all contact with the harpy before you get hurt again.
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