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After my ex-fiance walked out on me over three years ago, I went to a counselor (talk therapy) to try to make sense of it all. Overall, it was nice to have an independent party to talk to, but I'm not sure she helped any more than time did.
So now I'm in another situation and think maybe some outside help might do me some good. Without getting into details, a friend told me today that I sound "codependant" and an ex-boyfriend who I've had a precarious friendship with for a couple years is "emotionally abusive".
So, not knowing where to turn, I did a bit of Googling and found a codependancy/"relationship untangling" support group at a local non-denominational church. The church happens to be the one that a good friend of mine goes to. She went to a class there to help her get out of an abusive relationship and she's in a new relationship now and credits her "relationship with God" as the main reason she's able to move on with her life.
I'm not a super religious person. I believe in God but am not a huge fan of organized religion and feel it's more of a personal journey to be taken.
So, if I'm trying to figure out why the common denominator in my failed relationships is "me" would counseling be better than church, or the other way round?
I'm just looking for a few opinions. Church would be a heck of a lot cheaper than counseling, that's for sure.
Yep, I find the advice of my clergy helpful. I'm an Episcopalian so we've got married and single male AND female clergy; I've found that the latter really understand relationships and issues from many perspectives.
After my ex-fiance walked out on me over three years ago, I went to a counselor (talk therapy) to try to make sense of it all. Overall, it was nice to have an independent party to talk to, but I'm not sure she helped any more than time did.
So now I'm in another situation and think maybe some outside help might do me some good. Without getting into details, a friend told me today that I sound "codependant" and an ex-boyfriend who I've had a precarious friendship with for a couple years is "emotionally abusive".
So, not knowing where to turn, I did a bit of Googling and found a codependancy/"relationship untangling" support group at a local non-denominational church. The church happens to be the one that a good friend of mine goes to. She went to a class there to help her get out of an abusive relationship and she's in a new relationship now and credits her "relationship with God" as the main reason she's able to move on with her life.
I'm not a super religious person. I believe in God but am not a huge fan of organized religion and feel it's more of a personal journey to be taken.
So, if I'm trying to figure out why the common denominator in my failed relationships is "me" would counseling be better than church, or the other way round?
I'm just looking for a few opinions. Church would be a heck of a lot cheaper than counseling, that's for sure.
Why not try something new TT? You could always opt out of the church program if you don't feel you are getting anything from it in time, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The spiritually centered are always the happiest people I know personally. Good luck with your decision!
... I did a bit of Googling and found a codependancy/"relationship untangling" support group at a local non-denominational church. ... I'm am not a huge fan of organized religion . . .
The fact that the church is a non-denominational one would indicate that it is likely not one for sticking to certain organizations either - it may be a good fit for you - the fact as well that your friend found help there is an indicator that (at least) some of its programs work - I'd give it a go!
After my ex-fiance walked out on me over three years ago, I went to a counselor (talk therapy) to try to make sense of it all. Overall, it was nice to have an independent party to talk to, but I'm not sure she helped any more than time did.
So now I'm in another situation and think maybe some outside help might do me some good. Without getting into details, a friend told me today that I sound "codependant" and an ex-boyfriend who I've had a precarious friendship with for a couple years is "emotionally abusive".
So, not knowing where to turn, I did a bit of Googling and found a codependancy/"relationship untangling" support group at a local non-denominational church. The church happens to be the one that a good friend of mine goes to. She went to a class there to help her get out of an abusive relationship and she's in a new relationship now and credits her "relationship with God" as the main reason she's able to move on with her life.
I'm not a super religious person. I believe in God but am not a huge fan of organized religion and feel it's more of a personal journey to be taken.
So, if I'm trying to figure out why the common denominator in my failed relationships is "me" would counseling be better than church, or the other way round?
I'm just looking for a few opinions. Church would be a heck of a lot cheaper than counseling, that's for sure.
I would at the very least go a few times and check it out. Seems like no downside.
I think we could all use a little introspection in our lives.
You're getting good advice here about taking the opportunity to get help in a free and more importantly, non-threatening, non-judgemental environment. You will likely benefit from learning of the experiences of others and receiving affirmation that "you" are not the reason for the failed relationships. At the very least you may get some good ideas about how to avoid such losers in the future.
After my ex-fiance walked out on me over three years ago, I went to a counselor (talk therapy) to try to make sense of it all. Overall, it was nice to have an independent party to talk to, but I'm not sure she helped any more than time did.
So now I'm in another situation and think maybe some outside help might do me some good. Without getting into details, a friend told me today that I sound "codependant" and an ex-boyfriend who I've had a precarious friendship with for a couple years is "emotionally abusive".
So, not knowing where to turn, I did a bit of Googling and found a codependancy/"relationship untangling" support group at a local non-denominational church. The church happens to be the one that a good friend of mine goes to. She went to a class there to help her get out of an abusive relationship and she's in a new relationship now and credits her "relationship with God" as the main reason she's able to move on with her life.
I'm not a super religious person. I believe in God but am not a huge fan of organized religion and feel it's more of a personal journey to be taken.
So, if I'm trying to figure out why the common denominator in my failed relationships is "me" would counseling be better than church, or the other way round?
I'm just looking for a few opinions. Church would be a heck of a lot cheaper than counseling, that's for sure.
you could find a minister/priest/etc. who does counseling... it doesn't need to be super-religious
Just have to think to yourself before going, "what kind of questions will be asked and how those questions will be answer?". Years ago a girlfriend and myself went to a Christian Therapist for some counseling. We were only talking for a couple of minutes, when we were asked "are you two having sex/sleeping together?" Since this counseling was taking place in a church, we didn't want to lie.......we said "yes, but not living together". The therapist told us that the first thing we needed to do was to stop having sex/sleeping together! We didn't continue with the counseling and ended up breaking up which was the best for both of us. I decided after that that if I ever needed counceling for a relationship again, I wasn't going to go to a church or Christian Therapist for it!
But, if you and boyfriend aren't doing anything that is against church beliefs, you two should be ok.
But, if you and boyfriend aren't doing anything that is against church beliefs, you two should be ok.
I don't have a boyfriend. My OP mentioned an EX boyfriend, but this is about ME, not anyone else specifically.
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