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Wow, the wife of my favorite couple just posted on FB that after 23 years she is on her way to being single again and does anyone have any suggestions for her. I feel like Ive been punched in the stomach...Im hoping it's just some big misunderstanding. But for her to post this on FB, something terrible must have happened. They are also individually two of my favorite, SANE people around. This has me really upset...ayayayayay....
You never know what goes on in a marriage unless you're in it. I'm sorry your role models fell from their pedestal, but usually people divorce for very good reasons.
If someone posted on Facebook that they were getting a divorce, I'd have a moment of serious reflection concerning the "rolemodel" status I had bestowed upon them.
That sounds trite, but I absolutely mean it. Who does that?
Actually, why is anyone not in college on Facebook? Tell her to grow the hell up, become bitter and despondent like everyone else and then ignore her problems with a coping mechanism. Like a real adult.
I use vodka. She doesn't have to. It's merely a suggestion.
We never know what's transpiring in someone else's relationship. Never. Someone could easily have made the same statement about my first wife and me. Even our kids were shocked when they learned we were divorcing -- after 27 years. We had hidden our problems well from everyone, but that didn't make the problems go away.
You also don't know the details well enough to be upset. I mean, I understand that's the common sentiment, but what makes you upset? That you were wrong about them? Chances are it hasn't been a good marriage for years. You might be better off helping them celebrate a new beginning.
Honestly, I didn't even realize that Ive been putting them on a pedestal until now. And Ive said the same thing to other people before....'you never know what's going on in other people's relationships...'.
They are lovely people, doing great things in my community, and that's the truth.
I think my initial reaction of shock and disbelief has alot to do with HOPE for myself. We often do this, wrong or right, ie, look to others for hope of what we want in our lives. This doesn't mean that I have lost hope that I will have a good, lasting relationship in the future. And yes, I can admit that I must have subconsciously (Im human) idealized their relationship, it's a lesson for the future.
If someone posted on Facebook that they were getting a divorce, I'd have a moment of serious reflection concerning the "rolemodel" status I had bestowed upon them.
That sounds trite, but I absolutely mean it. Who does that?
Actually, why is anyone not in college on Facebook? Tell her to grow the hell up, become bitter and despondent like everyone else and then ignore her problems with a coping mechanism. Like a real adult.
I use vodka. She doesn't have to. It's merely a suggestion.
Exactly. I can't believe the amount of stupid status messages I have to deal with. How they have the bestest husbands on the planet, thankful for their dog blah blah blah
Honestly, I didn't even realize that Ive been putting them on a pedestal until now. And Ive said the same thing to other people before....'you never know what's going on in other people's relationships...'.
They are lovely people, doing great things in my community, and that's the truth.
I think my initial reaction of shock and disbelief has alot to do with HOPE for myself. We often do this, wrong or right, ie, look to others for hope of what we want in our lives. This doesn't mean that I have lost hope that I will have a good, lasting relationship in the future. And yes, I can admit that I must have subconsciously (Im human) idealized their relationship, it's a lesson for the future.
Kishka, I'm sorry for your loss. And yes, it is a loss when friends divorce.
Good marriages go bad, and bad partners stay together.
Who knows, it's like a crap shoot?
Keep the faith in yourself. That's the best you can do.
Kishka, I'm sorry for your loss. And yes, it is a loss when friends divorce.
Good marriages go bad, and bad partners stay together.
Who knows, it's like a crap shoot?
Keep the faith in yourself. That's the best you can do.
Good luck,
RVP
RVP, thanks for your thoughtful and understanding post.
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