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Personally I don't think this is unsettling at all. He's not a woman... lots of men would be hard pressed to explain the details of what he likes about you. He says he loves you and wants to be committed to you forever - if you need to hear more than that, you should start dating women, who will be emotional able to tell you the little things you want to hear.
This is not a commentary regarding the yelling, by the way. I don't feel I have enough info to comment on that part of this thread.
So what are you saying - a man doesn't have two beans in his head to put together, "I love your sense of humor." - is not difficult.
I have asked male friends what they like about their girlfriends and they can spout one or two or ten things off pretty quickly.
THAT makes it quite unsettling.
Men may have difficulty expressing their feelings to an exact - but since when do men [all the sudden] have trouble expressing what they LIKE. .
One thing I want to point out to you is that you really need to stop comparing your financee to other people. Your mentioning what "Stacy's husband" did for Vday, or what your ex-boyfriend did, isn't relevant. Your fiancee is his own man who lives his life in his own way. Whether or not you should marry him is up to you to decide, just base your decision on your interactions with him, not what other people are doing.
exactly ! take your time dont haste into the matter ..postpone the marriage .. see if he can be patient .. give him 1 last chance .. if he fails to be patient then theres something wrong and u gotta put your foot down
It's ok to be angry with yourself.We all make mistakes. But, the fact is you have not gone through with the marriage yet! So maybe you wasted the last 20 months. Maybe there were many great times in there. Good for you! Life is about learning. We never stop- Are you learning Jeep? When he finally thinks you are gone, he will contact you and THEN say whatever it takes to get you back. Do whatever you want, makes mistakes, but LEARN.
We had just gotten back together in November. We had been broken up for a few months and I was dating someone else. During the months we were broken up, that is when all the email/calls stuff happened. We've had great times since we've been back together. . .
I'm not going to vote in your poll. Its your decision, and you need to make it. The opinions of people on an internet forum, who don't know you, or him, shouldn't be important to you.
I will say this, I wouldn't get married, if I had second thoughts. The only way I'd get married, is if I had 100% faith in the person I was marrying.
What he said...and sad that someone has to say it.
I see huge red flags. I would postpone the wedding if I were you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
Jeep, I'm not going to vote in your poll either. This is your decision to make. Because you are having these doubts, I would at the very least postpone the wedding. I agree that these sound like warning bells, but this is a very personal matter between you and him. If he calls and you decide to talk this out, do so with your eyes and ears wide open.
I agree with these two. ^^
Jeep, hon, I think you've managed to chip the fresh paint on some seriously damaged goods. This whole affair has been rather hasty, and he has been pushing hard from the get-go. This blow-up would not only give me pause, it would give me wings. I'd get the hell out, now. I'm far too independent to ever be happy with such a man. I expect this guy is so accustomed to having everything exactly as he wants it, given that he travels so much and rarely needs to think about a "home life", any wrinkles are usually stomped on and quickly forgotten. It sounds like he is rushing so that he can stop the "playing nice" and get back to business as usual, which is for him, riding roughshod over whoever gets in his way.
I can't decide for you...you have to figure that out. But at least sit back on those heels and pull the reins up on this dude fast. Postpone the wedding, at the least. You need more time to decide if this fellow is right for you.
So what are you saying - a man doesn't have two beans in his head to put together, "I love your sense of humor." - is not difficult.
I have asked male friends what they like about their girlfriends and they can spout one or two or ten things off pretty quickly.
THAT makes it quite unsettling.
Men may have difficulty expressing their feelings to an exact - but since when do men [all the sudden] have trouble expressing what they LIKE. .
I'm not saying you should stick with the guy, just saying you should stop comparing him to other people. See, here you are doing it again.
Those male friends aren't in love with you, and are different men than your fiancee.
I don't know why your fiancee won't/can't say "I love your sense of humor." Maybe he is a show it rather than say it type of guy. I'm not saying that this is the reason why he isn't telling you what you want to hear; I'm saying you should stop looking at what other men do and expect him to be the same.
Hi Jeep. You already know the answer to your original question. Dont you? I think you and I have talked enough over the years that I have a pretty good grasp of your intelligence and intuition. We know that you will NEVER tolerate being verbally abused or taken for granted. If he does this before marriage it will most certainly get worse afterwards. No reason for an intelligent,beautiful woman such as yourself to settle for anything less than happiness. Good luck sweetie!
It's not comparing. He asked me what was wrong and why I was feeling down. I told him what was affecting me.
I compared him to my EX boyfriend? What I DID state is that it was just not cool that my EX sent me flowers and he did not.
Are you literally trying to blow shyt out of proportion here ON PURPOSE?!
Andrew - is that YOU???
Uh, yeah - I bet it is.
What I have underlined here is a direct comparison.
ETA - this response to me seems very angry and accusatory even though all I've done is point out something you may have missed. Perhaps you also sounded angry and accusatory on the phone on Vday too, without even knowing it. Perhaps he was responding to you in kind.
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