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I recently saw this guy I've been talking to (yes it was on Valentine's day), and everything was going ok until he started to kiss me. He was extremely pushy! I am not the type to sleep around. I will only sleep with someone if I love them, bottom line. I tried to get him to slow down, several times, but he was not getting it. Finally I had to tell him to stop altogether and I was very turned off.
I had some feelings for this guy prior to that night, but now I just see him as some sort of sleaze ball! He apologized the next day, saying he had too much to drink but I don't think he fully realized how mad I was.
At this point I don't want to go on another date with him. I'm thinking of telling him that I need some space and I just want to be friends for now.
My questions: do you think I am overreacting? And when I break things off should I tell him why or just leave it alone?
Yes, I do think that you are over-reacting a bit, AllAboutEve (I like your "name"!)
Some people get silly with the romantic staff on Valentine's. Plus, alcohol was involved, you mentioned. And he apologized for his behavior.
Meet the guy again, don't mention the incident, and play it cool, be light. See what he does next.
Good luck!
P.S. Pushy guys come one by one. Treat them as individuals. Just as you are one.
No, you are not overreacting. In fact, his behavior is a big red flag, both because he didn't respect your boundaries and because he then blamed alcohol instead of manning up and taking responsibility for his actions.
There's no law saying you have to see him again. He did something you don't like, it turned you off, your feelings changed, end of story.
And that's pretty much how it should be with any guy in any situation where he's disrespectful. "No" means "no," rejection happens, and the sooner they learn that, the better off all men and women will be.
No, you are not overreacting. In fact, his behavior is a big red flag, both because he didn't respect your boundaries and because he then blamed alcohol instead of manning up and taking responsibility for his actions.
There's no law saying you have to see him again. He did something you don't like, it turned you off, your feelings changed, end of story.
And that's pretty much how it should be with any guy in any situation where he's disrespectful. "No" means "no," rejection happens, and the sooner they learn that, the better off all men and women will be.
Harsh judgement, Avienne, harsh judgement. The girl did like this boy before the incident.
Ok, I put my 2 cents worth in, bye now.
Yes, I do think that you are over-reacting a bit, AllAboutEve (I like your "name"!)
Some people get silly with the romantic staff on Valentine's. Plus, alcohol was involved, you mentioned. And he apologized for his behavior.
Meet the guy again, don't mention the incident, and play it cool, be light. See what he does next.
Good luck!
P.S. Pushy guys come one by one. Treat them as individuals. Just as you are one.
I might give him a second chance as a "friend" but at this point the interest level is near Zero. Pretty sad considering I was really into him before. If he wants something to happen in the future, he has a lot to work to do.
No, you are not overreacting. In fact, his behavior is a big red flag, both because he didn't respect your boundaries and because he then blamed alcohol instead of manning up and taking responsibility for his actions.
There's no law saying you have to see him again. He did something you don't like, it turned you off, your feelings changed, end of story.
And that's pretty much how it should be with any guy in any situation where he's disrespectful. "No" means "no," rejection happens, and the sooner they learn that, the better off all men and women will be.
I agree with this, and I've had the exact same thing happen. "No" means no. Period. When a guy demonstrates that he doesn't respect that, I pretty much lose any respect for him, as well.
Harsh judgement, Avienne, harsh judgement. The girl did like the boy before this incident.
Ok, I put in my 2 cents worth, bye, bye.
Sorry, but no. She said her feelings changed because of his behavior--and rightfully so. He acted like a toad.
If she doesn't want to go on a date with him again, that's all there is to it. You are basically telling a woman to go against her gut feelings about a guy who acted like a pig--she said "extremely pushy"--and that's a disservice to her, and to all women, actually. Would that more women trusted their gut reactions about creeps. They'd save themselves a lot of heartache and find the good guys that much sooner. There are plenty of men around who don't act that way, even after a few drinks.
No, you are not overreacting. In fact, his behavior is a big red flag, both because he didn't respect your boundaries and because he then blamed alcohol instead of manning up and taking responsibility for his actions.
There's no law saying you have to see him again. He did something you don't like, it turned you off, your feelings changed, end of story.
And that's pretty much how it should be with any guy in any situation where he's disrespectful. "No" means "no," rejection happens, and the sooner they learn that, the better off all men and women will be.
The whole boundaries thing is big. The way he acted it was as if he was a wolf that had been starving for a month . It was very off putting and not at all attractive . And then he tried to pin it on me, saying I was just so irresistable ... eehhhh gross! If you can't control yourself, you can't control yourself, don't put the blame on me buddy!
Sorry, but no. She said her feelings changed because of his behavior--and rightfully so. He acted like a toad.
If she doesn't want to go on a date with him again, that's all there is to it. You are basically telling a woman to go against her gut feelings about a guy who acted like a pig--she said "extremely pushy"--and that's a disservice to her, and to all women, actually. Would that more women trusted their gut reactions about creeps. They'd save themselves a lot of heartache and find the good guys that much sooner. There are plenty of men around who don't act that way, even after a few drinks.
Wow, when did I manage to do all that, darling girl?
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. It was very off putting and not at all attractive 
. And then he tried to pin it on me, saying I was just so irresistable ... eehhhh gross! If you can't control yourself, you can't control yourself, don't put the blame on me buddy!
