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Ok, having read all the posts (just to clarify that, lol), I would say this: they need to make a budget TOGETHER, of household expenses, and who pays for what - mine, yours, ours. If after all expenses are paid, there is extra in his pot, he can do whatever he wants to with it.
Having said that, I would NOT want to stay with a man, who would buy bday gifts (even for grandkids) over something so vital as reliable transportation, or God forbid! my eyesight. If he thinks that those things are "her" problems, and not his, that really speaks to his character.
OP - The most important thing you can do for yourself, is take care of yourself, regardless of what your bf does. Your eyesight is one of the most precious gifts you have in life - don't take that for granted! It won't matter if you have a new or old car, if you can't see well enough to drive! You need to look at your expenses, and see how you can afford those things on your own, b/c I am betting that your bf, unfortunately, doesn't look at YOUR needs as a priority. Please take care of yourself. He is doing what he wants to, regardless.
I can't give much advice on this topic, but can refer you to some organizations that provide eye care and eye glasses to those that can not afford it. Please contact these groups and see if they can help:
New Eyes for the Needy: Providing Glasses in the US (http://www.neweyesfortheneedy.org/us/us.html - broken link) https://www.panfoundation.org/index....d=34&Itemid=41 RAM Vision Care
I can't give much advice on this topic, but can refer you to some organizations that provide eye care and eye glasses to those that can not afford it. Please contact these groups and see if they can help:
New Eyes for the Needy: Providing Glasses in the US (http://www.neweyesfortheneedy.org/us/us.html - broken link) https://www.panfoundation.org/index....d=34&Itemid=41 RAM Vision Care
typhoidmary, thanks for the RAM info. I had seen a piece on them on 60 minutes, but could'nt rememeber the name of the organization. I will check out the site. When I go to renew my drivers license I am worried I will fail the eye test.I know that it is cominng at some point. I was told that years ago when I first had my eyes tested.
Well I did not mention that he also has a gambling problem going to the casino and throwing away hundreds that he does not have with only his disability income coming in. So destitute maybe, yes, at some point if he continues to do that. I am not a man basher.
I also contribute cooking, cleaning and other duties. Thank you. Eight years of it.Will not marry him to inherit his debt.
Well I did not mention that he also has a gambling problem going to the casino and throwing away hundreds that he does not have with only his disability income coming in. So destitute maybe, yes, at some point if he continues to do that. I am not a man basher.
I also contribute cooking, cleaning and other duties. Thank you. Eight years of it.
With all due respect I would have thought that this "gambling problem" would have been raised by you earlier as an adjunct to your relating of his apparent fiscal inefficacy. His money though, right?
I think it would really help if you answered a simple question which is, "Given that you've already said that you split the household costs equally, have you ever had to contribute more than your half of those shared bills to make ends meet?"
Did not want to raise that one. Thought I had enough of the story already stated.
I believe after eight years I would consider this to be a realtionship with some kind of commitment, albeit not a marriage, but a long term relationship. If not, one or the other of us would have left before now. I do not consider our relationship on a roomate level where all you share is the bills. There is more to it than who pays what. That was never even an arrangement.I choose to do it. We have both helped each other out at times when needed. It is more a financial responsibility thing.
I think it is immature and irresponsible behavior.I don't get it, with this economy and with all that is going on in this country, it would it be frowned upon for one to want your partner to use some discretion and have some resources available for some future need. Does anyone watch the news or read the papers and see what is going on? Why would you not want to havesome kind of security?
I am not a gold digger, if I were, I would not be with a man on disability..
He has admitted to me that he is no good with money, and wanted me to handle it.
I had my chance to move out of here and leave the state,he said he would go with me, but I did not do it because I knew he did not want to leave his family. I have never tried to come between his family.
As for a new vehicle. I do not have that kind of cash up front. A newer vehicles insurance rates are also higher. It is cheaper to pay the couple of hundred for the repair bills at the time.It is not like this is niot happening all over the country people are cutting back and cutting corners all over. People are having to do without and if you think it is going to get better you are dillusional. That is why I am worried.
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