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I really do love this guy, but when it comes tohis girl, all we do is argue.
Typing mistake?
Only you can decide what will or wont be acceptable, but remember what ever you accept now, you'll have to continue to accept, it sets the stage for the future of the relationship. Stop questioning him about their contact on face book for a while. He has some power over your emotions right now , and may be getting some enjoyment from your reaction.
He's not gonna stop talking with this woman. He likes her. No doubt they had sex more than once. Ask yourself...are you friends with guys you've had sex with. If not, then you have a problem.
Options:
Leave him
Allow him to continue his relationship
You talk to other guys
Good Luck!
There a a sufficent number of posters on this forum who'd disagree and have ongoing friendships with ex's. It's possible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sanrene
Based on her description of his behavior when it comes to this girl, he will.
Refusing to break off contact, shutting her out of his FB messages. This is a classic...seen it before..always ends up the same.
Yea, it would seem that if there were nothing to hide he wouldn't have limited what she's able to read, but, I said earlier it could be simply for a reaction. Should she decide to stay with him, eventually she'll
find out the truth. It's easy for us to predict his motives, but we really don't know for certain. Either way though, it's a game.
It sounds like he sees her as Miss Right and you as Miss Right Now. He is more into her than he is you, but she is geographically unavailable. I would set this guy free and wait for someone who was really in love with you and put you above all else, but that's just me. Best wishes.
I'm actually amazed at the number of people who think he's going to pursue, if possible this other woman.
Even by the scorn girlfriends own words, they became good friends, could it not be that he simply doesn't want to give up the friendship? We don't know the reason for his actions, and the information is coming from one source, which, at best is just slightly biased.
Liking pictures on FB? Well, she's a model, maybe he was trying saying "Hey, that's a good picture" not "Hey, goddamnit I can't wait to tap that again"?
If he's such a big cheater, it's safe to assume he would've earlier in the relationship too, if he's skilled enough/attractive enough/whatever you prefer calling it to pull models, rest assure, he's had offers in the past.
In the end it boils down to trust, and how you approach that, she can decide to trust her boyfriend, and trust his judgment, but set some boundaries, such as "I need to be able to see what you do on FB and I need full disclosure when it comes to this one person." and "I won't let you meet her alone if she comes back" etc, or she can come to the conclusion that she can't trust him on this issue, if she can't the basis for a relationship is halting, at least in my opinion.
You seem to forget that by her own account, everything else in the relationship is going very good, and by her own admission, the problem is hardly as big as some that other face. This is in no way an issue that can't be worked around, even if he is tempted or has some romantic feelings towards this other girl, he hasn't done anything wrong yet, and acting like he has is not a good basis to work it out.
Yeah, he has to be a lot more upfront, he has to be more honest, and not chose the easy route of telling a lie to make things temporarily easier, but who hasn't done that at some point in a relationship, you learn as you go along, and frankly they don't sound like they're any older than me, as such they still have a lot of learning to do.
I see no reason to doom this relationship, but it will require more honest and open communication, and both parties must be prepared that that might hurt, they can't be conflict oriented, the need to focus on getting to the truth, and accepting that, and work from there.
There are many other explanations for his behavior that are just as likely as seeing "her as Miss Right and you as Miss Right Now".
Agree with everything you posted with the exception of the highlighted.
If he has romantic feelings for the other girl, what is there to work out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheViking85
I'm actually amazed at the number of people who think he's going to pursue, if possible this other woman.
Even by the scorn girlfriends own words, they became good friends, could it not be that he simply doesn't want to give up the friendship? We don't know the reason for his actions, and the information is coming from one source, which, at best is just slightly biased.
Liking pictures on FB? Well, she's a model, maybe he was trying saying "Hey, that's a good picture" not "Hey, goddamnit I can't wait to tap that again"?
If he's such a big cheater, it's safe to assume he would've earlier in the relationship too, if he's skilled enough/attractive enough/whatever you prefer calling it to pull models, rest assure, he's had offers in the past.
In the end it boils down to trust, and how you approach that, she can decide to trust her boyfriend, and trust his judgment, but set some boundaries, such as "I need to be able to see what you do on FB and I need full disclosure when it comes to this one person." and "I won't let you meet her alone if she comes back" etc, or she can come to the conclusion that she can't trust him on this issue, if she can't the basis for a relationship is halting, at least in my opinion.
You seem to forget that by her own account, everything else in the relationship is going very good, and by her own admission, the problem is hardly as big as some that other face. This is in no way an issue that can'tbe worked around, even if he is tempted or has some romantic feelings towards this other girl, he hasn't done anything wrong yet, and acting like he has is not a good basis to work it out.
Yeah, he has to be a lot more upfront, he has to be more honest, and not chose the easy route of telling a lie to make things temporarily easier, but who hasn't done that at some point in a relationship, you learn as you go along, and frankly they don't sound like they're any older than me, as such they still have a lot of learning to do.
I see no reason to doom this relationship, but it will require more honest and open communication, and both parties must be prepared that that might hurt, they can't be conflict oriented, the need to focus on getting to the truth, and accepting that, and work from there.
There are many other explanations for his behavior that are just as likely as seeing "her as Miss Right and you as Miss Right Now".
Viking....No, he hasn't done anything with her YET because she's out of the country! He got back together with his current GF right after the other girl left and HAS NEVER STOPPED BEING IN CONTACT WITH HER and has even lied to maintain contact.
The chance that this could be innocent is miniscule.
Oh look another post about how talking to the exs makesfor problems....
I don't talk to ex's and neither has anyone I commited to. Not everyone is so hung up on the past they can't move on. If he can let go of some chick he casually screwed for a relationship, he is trashy and you don't want him. Its not like they grew up together or were friends for years even. Look at him for what he really is. Not the guy you wish he was.
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