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One of the few things that allow me to make it through each day is the small glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, there can be a life with a partner, a family, a future. As each day passes and I get a day older, I feel that hope fading more and more.
Back in October, when I attended the Halloween party at the Assisted Living center, I saw the other residents together with their spouses, their kids and grandkids, the staff and their families, and it really struck me how someday, when it's my turn, that there won't be anyone coming to see me. Since that day, the feeling of being alone, and the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Having no one to share things with, to talk to about events if my life, about a funny thing I heard or of a problem I have, having no one around physically to touch, to interact with, is almost unbearable.
I wish there were hobbies, activities, or pastimes I could be involved with to be active, be around other people, to better myself, or just give me something to pass the time. But, with no money available to spend on my own needs, those activities are usually out of the question.
One of the few things that allow me to make it through each day is the small glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, there can be a life with a partner, a family, a future. As each day passes and I get a day older, I feel that hope fading more and more.
Back in October, when I attended the Halloween party at the Assisted Living center, I saw the other residents together with their spouses, their kids and grandkids, the staff and their families, and it really struck me how someday, when it's my turn, that there won't be anyone coming to see me. Since that day, the feeling of being alone, and the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Having no one to share things with, to talk to about events if my life, about a funny thing I heard or of a problem I have, having no one around physically to touch, to interact with, is almost unbearable.
I wish there were hobbies, activities, or pastimes I could be involved with to be active, be around other people, to better myself, or just give me something to pass the time. But, with no money available to spend on my own needs, those activities are usually out of the question.
What about volunteering somewhere? I do that and not only does it make me feel good, I have met some really great people that have the same interests.
Also, just because someone has a family doesn't mean they will have visitors in the nursing home. Sad but true.
One of the few things that allow me to make it through each day is the small glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, there can be a life with a partner, a family, a future. As each day passes and I get a day older, I feel that hope fading more and more.
Back in October, when I attended the Halloween party at the Assisted Living center, I saw the other residents together with their spouses, their kids and grandkids, the staff and their families, and it really struck me how someday, when it's my turn, that there won't be anyone coming to see me. Since that day, the feeling of being alone, and the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Having no one to share things with, to talk to about events if my life, about a funny thing I heard or of a problem I have, having no one around physically to touch, to interact with, is almost unbearable.
I wish there were hobbies, activities, or pastimes I could be involved with to be active, be around other people, to better myself, or just give me something to pass the time. But, with no money available to spend on my own needs, those activities are usually out of the question.
I can't speak highly enough of volunteer work. It will take you out of yourself, put you into contact with other people who share your interests, and make you feel good--and it doesn't cost a thing.
Why were you at the assisted living center? Were you volunteering there? If so, maybe try something else. There are always things going on with environmental groups, like clean-ups. Or think about a cause you believe in. Anything with health will be fulfilling, too.
I don' tknow where you are located, but there should be some activities or gatherings that are free of charge and would unite you with people who could become friends or more.
I'm not a big advocate of church, but if that's something you are interested in, I bet they could help you in many ways to find something suitable.
The way I see it, we're born alone and die alone. Only the middle part should stress me out but it doesn't, because I've been lucky enough to learn to enjoy my aloneness (note I didn't say loneliness) and make it work for me.
As for hobbies, there are dozens (hundreds?) that don't cost much to enjoy - gardening, art, reading, crafts...the list gets pretty long.
I can't speak highly enough of volunteer work. It will take you out of yourself, put you into contact with other people who share your interests, and make you feel good--and it doesn't cost a thing.
Why were you at the assisted living center? Were you volunteering there? If so, maybe try something else. There are always things going on with environmental groups, like clean-ups. Or think about a cause you believe in. Anything with health will be fulfilling, too.
I volunteer with animals. I spent years walking dogs at the humane society. If I was upset or stressed out, it was relaxing to be able to be around animals, and just BE (if that makes sense).
Now I volunteer with a rescue group. One thing I do is help transport dogs. I get to go for a drive and help dogs get to/from old homes, foster homes, and new homes.
I now have a really great circle of friends that totally understand my love of dogs. Nobody thinks I'm weird. I finally feel like I fit in somewhere. I never would have met these people had I not started volunteering.
But guess what? It isn't such an be-all, end-all that it's going to solve all your problems in life. If you cannot pluck yourself up off the floor and go out and have a life, then forget about finding someone to be your companion in life, let alone your spouse. Get a Zoloft prescription. Turn off the TV and find inexpensive hobbies. Go out and meet people. Anything but what you're doing right now.
In short, take care of yourself first. Everything else after that takes care of itself.
One of the few things that allow me to make it through each day is the small glimmer of hope that maybe, someday, there can be a life with a partner, a family, a future. As each day passes and I get a day older, I feel that hope fading more and more.
Back in October, when I attended the Halloween party at the Assisted Living center, I saw the other residents together with their spouses, their kids and grandkids, the staff and their families, and it really struck me how someday, when it's my turn, that there won't be anyone coming to see me. Since that day, the feeling of being alone, and the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Having no one to share things with, to talk to about events if my life, about a funny thing I heard or of a problem I have, having no one around physically to touch, to interact with, is almost unbearable.
I wish there were hobbies, activities, or pastimes I could be involved with to be active, be around other people, to better myself, or just give me something to pass the time. But, with no money available to spend on my own needs, those activities are usually out of the question.
Sorry to hear that things are still not going well for you. Is there any progress on your situation (I remember you from previous threads)?
There are activities that don't cost money. Do you play sports? Run? All you need to join a running group is a decent pair of shoes. Meetup.com has lots of different groups for all sorts of activities and most wouldn't cost anything - it's just getting together with a group who share a common interest, wine, books, sports, politics, etc.
Volunteering someplace a little happier than an assisted living center could be a possibility as well.
I've been where you are at. You must choose to look at your life in a different way.
"When you change the way you look at things, things change."
I had just ended my most recent long term relationship. The hard part was that I was older (older than I've ever been!). Ending that relationship was very difficult and far more emotional than it should have been - but that was the deal. I started dating (again!!) and just couldn't connect with anyone - nothing clicked. So was that "it" for me? No more LTR, no marriage, no man in my life again?? I look younger than my age, I take care of myself, etc. My dance card hasn't stayed black for long in the past ... but now, ...no prospects - zero, nothing.
Then, I became ill. Very ill & I couldn't leave the house. I really didn't have any way to get to a Dr. - for a week I was hold up at home - I could hardly get around and could barely make it to the drug store. The second week, I was able to get to a Dr., got around more, but still very ill. For some strange reason, I knew that I was going to be "ok" - not just that I would recover from the illness, but that I was going to be ok. If I could handle that alone - there was nothing I couldn't handle alone. For a very strange reason, I knew I would be ok alone. It was good to know -- b/c I WAS alone. I finally felt comfortable knowing that I would not likely have another LTR, not end up "with" someone. Sure I might hook up with a "friend" - but no more "true love" stuff. Yet, I knew it was going to be ok. My first day I was well - dressed up and ready to report for duty - I met someone. He & I have been seeing each other a good deal. Will this be a LTR, Love and all?? I don't know - either way, it's ok. I'm ok. You will be, too.
Best wishes, my friend.
The way I see it, we're born alone and die alone. Only the middle part should stress me out but it doesn't, because I've been lucky enough to learn to enjoy my aloneness (note I didn't say loneliness) and make it work for me.
As for hobbies, there are dozens (hundreds?) that don't cost much to enjoy - gardening, art, reading, crafts...the list gets pretty long.
My grandma was married for 30 years and has been living alone for another 39. My fam and my uncle's fam don't live close, and she refuses to move near us or them, so there is still a chance she could die alone, especially if it was a sudden death. Being married and having a family doesn't guarantee folks being around at the end.
And yes, there is life after marriage. I am divorced and may or may not ever find someone I want to be with again and this is not a problem for me. I know I will always have my family and friends, so I'm never going to be truly alone, even if I am alone wherever I live.
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