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I am curious to hear from men & women out there who have been involved in an emotional affair (EA). I would mostly like to hear from MEN who have been in an EA and what you went through after it was over. Was it hard for you to get over her? How long did it take to get over her? After it was over, did you cut off all ties or did you still see each other? I would like to know specifically what you went through (tears, thinking of her a lot, confusion, etc).
I was in an EA and am having such a hard time getting over him. But, it "seems" like its easier for him. I guess I would just like to know if this is as hard for men as it is for women? I am happy to hear from women too but I've already chatted on other sites w/women but never see men on these sites. What happens to a man after an EA??
there was another Emotional Affair thread just this past week! is everyone having emotional affairs?
i think people are just scared to talk to one another for fear of starting an emotional affair! when did we get like this?
having conversations, where people make each other feel good and in a happy mood are OK
also, just because you develop a crush on someone after getting to know them, does not mean it MUST lead to anything. you can just keep it to yourself and go about your business.
people cannot just be attached to one person in the whole world, and never have feelings for anyone else---it just cant be. we are human!
I am curious to hear from men & women out there who have been involved in an emotional affair (EA). I would mostly like to hear from MEN who have been in an EA and what you went through after it was over. Was it hard for you to get over her? How long did it take to get over her? After it was over, did you cut off all ties or did you still see each other? I would like to know specifically what you went through (tears, thinking of her a lot, confusion, etc).
I was in an EA and am having such a hard time getting over him. But, it "seems" like its easier for him. I guess I would just like to know if this is as hard for men as it is for women? I am happy to hear from women too but I've already chatted on other sites w/women but never see men on these sites. What happens to a man after an EA??
Most men don't have EA's. The men who get involved while still being married are just looking for a little action on the side.
They truly could care less (although they'll put on a good act knowing that that is the only way to get most normal/nice women interested) about the other woman's real feelings, thoughts, etc.
It's a cat and mouse game to them. They pick the married gals because they are safer; they probably won't leave their husbands/kids/whatever. Also, the "marrieds", are less likely to be the carriers of disease. And are also less likely to want to, or "accidentally" get pregnant .
If another man is paying a lot of special attention to you (a married woman) chances are he's a scum bag player. All decent men, who truly love their wives, will not/would not flirt, woo, or pay special attention to another woman PERIOD.
Decent men also usually possess big enough testicles to divorce before becoming involved with another female, if they want anything else anyway.
Most boyfriends that I had in the past, I did become emotionally involved with (thinking back there were a few that liked me more than I liked them). Yes, a few of them were hard to get over when we broke up. Maybe there were some guys who weren't as emotionally involved in me as I was in them.
I heard the "Let's be friends" phrase a few times, but neither of us in all these relationships pursued it. Usually one of us had moved on to someone else. And being "friends" kind of hurts when you want the friendship to be more than just "friends."
Unfortunately, once you enter the dating (or "affair") world, you meet people and you get emotionally attached sometimes or a lot of times. It's finding the right person and the chemistry that goes both ways that is the trick. No telling how long it takes a person to do this - we're all different in our luck and in our choices.
The only way to avoid this is to not meet people. But there's no companionship in isolation. You have to lose some to win some.
Being a spouse to someone who has had an emotional affair sucks His 'friend' even sent me a handwritten thank you note in the mail for having such a 'wonderful man' in my life They still communicate via email, which I detest, but are physically 1,200 or so miles apart, so I do what I can to stay on the high road.
I hope all of you out there having an emotional affair (mental masturbation is more the term in my opinion) with someone who is married or in a committed relationship (and/or you are) - please consider the residual casualties in your actions...now if you are both single - have fun
For me personally - there are too many unknowns in the questions asked by the OP - but I do think men move on quicker....and I think emotional affairs aren't that much different than a full out affair.....sealing the deal with the sexual act doesn't mean it isn't an affair. So it would make sense that when it is over - it is hard to initially 'move on'....
I realize my words may seem harsh.....but I was the 'third wheel' in the emotional affair Thanks for letting me mini-rant on a subject near/dear to my heart.
Being a spouse to someone who has had an emotional affair sucks His 'friend' even sent me a handwritten thank you note in the mail for having such a 'wonderful man' in my life They still communicate via email, which I detest, but are physically 1,200 or so miles apart, so I do what I can to stay on the high road.
Are you and your spouse on the same page about this? Did he admit to having an emotional affair with this woman? If so, this is beyond "taking the high road". Emotional affairs are just as destructive (if not more) as physical affairs. He should NOT be communicating with her in any way. This is disrespectful to you and the marriage. Just my opinion...
Most men don't have EA's. The men who get involved while still being married are just looking for a little action on the side.
They truly could care less (although they'll put on a good act knowing that that is the only way to get most normal/nice women interested) about the other woman's real feelings, thoughts, etc.
It's a cat and mouse game to them. They pick the married gals because they are safer; they probably won't leave their husbands/kids/whatever. Also, the "marrieds", are less likely to be the carriers of disease. And are also less likely to want to, or "accidentally" get pregnant .
If another man is paying a lot of special attention to you (a married woman) chances are he's a scum bag player. All decent men, who truly love their wives, will not/would not flirt, woo, or pay special attention to another woman PERIOD.
Decent men also usually possess big enough testicles to divorce before becoming involved with another female, if they want anything else anyway.
After the EA we just go the fridge, grab a beer, tune to SPEED, get a car magazine, go to the toilet and make a drop then call it the day.
You just confirmed the view of just about every woman in the world -- that men have few feelings. Just wondering if this is really accurate? An emotional affair means their are true feelings for the other person -- sometimes falling in love. Not every EA leads to a physical affair -- about 50% eventually do. So, assuming there is no sex, but lots of intense feelings for that other person, does the guy really just walk away and move on?
there was another Emotional Affair thread just this past week! is everyone having emotional affairs?
i think people are just scared to talk to one another for fear of starting an emotional affair! when did we get like this?
having conversations, where people make each other feel good and in a happy mood are OK
also, just because you develop a crush on someone after getting to know them, does not mean it MUST lead to anything. you can just keep it to yourself and go about your business.
people cannot just be attached to one person in the whole world, and never have feelings for anyone else---it just cant be. we are human!
Well, I've read that EAs ARE a really big problem now -- mainly due to the internet, email, etc. Also, lots of people going back to their first "loves". I know of a woman in her 70s who is having an affair with a former high school sweetheart. She's single but he's married. So, yes, I hear its becoming a big issue.
Yeah, I saw that other post. On my end, I can say that I searched all over the internet for help after having the EA and there is very little out there as far as people to talk to. I am in counseling but I am still searching for answers. This was the only site I could find where I could ask a relationship question about anything. Wish there was a site devoted to EAs
I agree with your comments but the reality is that if two people meet who are having problems in their current relationships and they are attracted to each other, it could be recipe for an EA. Believe me, I never ever thought this would be me. I know I am responsible for what I did but I can also tell you that it wasn't hard to end up where I am. Its easy to say its wrong but depending on the circumstances, it can feel so right (not that it is but the temptation is there).
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His 'friend' even sent me a handwritten thank you note in the mail for having such a 'wonderful man' in my life 
They still communicate via email, which I detest, but are physically 1,200 or so miles apart, so I do what I can to stay on the high road. 
Thanks for letting me mini-rant on a subject near/dear to my heart.
