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My situation has been going on for several years now. For some reason, as far as looks are concerned, I continue to attract people I am not attracted to in return. I have been single for about 2 years because I keep attracting the big type of woman. I moved to a small town about a year ago from Los Angeles and ever since I got here I have been bombarded by nothing but over-weight women that I am not attracted to and this very thing happened in LA too. Not only are they big, but most of them are untillegent and lazy. I do not mean to sound rude or judgmental, but I am young still and want to explore all aspects of life, but somehow these big girls keep getting in the way. It starts as friends and I am in a new town so I do need to make friends, but then they become obsessive and overbearing. This also ends terribly because they get very offended that I am not attracted to them back. Part of me believes that I attract them for the sole reason that I am not interested. For example, if I wasnt interested in attractive women i'm sure they would be more interested in me. It must be in my attitude. But, since big is what I dont like, big is what I get. Whenever I am around an attractive woman I turn into the nice guy who lacks confidence and fishes for compliments and signs of hope. Perhaps I am desperate looking to them, but I feel if i dont try i wont get anywhere. To me, there is a thin line with acting confident and not caring at all. I am very interested in getting the forums opinion as to why i could care less about "big girls" and that's what shows interest and why the one's i am interested in throw me into the friend zone. Anyone else experience this?
I am very interested in getting the forums opinion as to why i could care less about "big girls" and that's what shows interest and why the one's i am interested in throw me into the friend zone.
it sounds like natural selection is at work here. you are sending the signal that something with you is defective.
>>Whenever I am around an attractive woman I turn into the nice guy who lacks confidence and fishes for compliments and signs of hope.
First, don't ever let yourself feel guilty for not being attracted to big girls. Everyone is attracted to different things: gay,straight,bi,white,black, thin, average,big...the list goes on and on.
I don't really know what advice to give you, except try to be more confident when you're around women you ARE attracted to. Eventually, you should meet the right one.
it sounds like natural selection is at work here. you are sending the signal that something with you is defective.
Whenever I am around an attractive woman I turn into the nice guy who lacks confidence and fishes for compliments and signs of hope.
Yes, it sounds like you bring out the confidence, and feel comfortable around women who you are not attracted to, but clam up around women who you are interested in.
I say work on your self confidence! Good luck!!
yep I agree with creativeguy. Around girls you aren't attracted to you're clam and cool, which is attractive to women. Try to be calm and natural when around women you are attracted to. Seriously, work on it. That's the key to your success!
All of this is true.. and thanks for all of the help. Now, i just have to work on relaxing around women I like. It's difficult because I feel if i realx too much they will think I am not interested... Jeeez, what we go through for a pretty face. Lol.
While I applaud your willingness to be friends with "big women", perhaps at this point you be keeping them at a distance as purely casual acquaintances. Instead, work on only having male friends and also friendships with women that are married or in a relationship. And also focus on friendships with people you feel are equal in intelligence to you.
I think what is happening is that your gal pals are seeing that you are single, so naturally if they are also single, they would eventually try to see if you might consider a romance with them. Otherwise, I am wondering why on earth you would be hanging around and being friends with "big women" that you consider to be unintelligent and lazy... are you that disparate for company?
I moved to a small town about a year ago from Los Angeles and ever since I got here I have been bombarded by nothing but over-weight women that I am not attracted to and this very thing happened in LA too. Not only are they big, but most of them are untillegent and lazy. I do not mean to sound rude or judgmental, but I am young still and want to explore all aspects of life, but somehow these big girls keep getting in the way. It starts as friends and I am in a new town so I do need to make friends, but then they become obsessive and overbearing.
You could report them to the police.
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