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Old 06-05-2007, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,814 posts, read 6,784,192 times
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This might be a little controversial but I would love to hear the views of women and men on this topic.

Should a woman put her relationship with her spouse first or do her children come first?

I have my own little theory on this, but I'll remain quiet for the time being.

 
Old 06-05-2007, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,672 posts, read 22,266,175 times
Reputation: 21369
Default marriage first

Sometimes the needs of one superceded the needs of the other. But in general, though I was absolutely crazy about my son, I don't think I put him "before" my husband. I think the marriage should come first so to speak.
 
Old 06-05-2007, 03:16 PM
 
3 posts, read 24,826 times
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In my opinion there is no priority for any one. they have there separate places . Bcz for her both are important. Dealing with one does not mean she ignoring other or giving less priority that is the need of time what she has to care of.
 
Old 06-05-2007, 03:25 PM
 
Location: City of the damned, Wash
428 posts, read 2,439,970 times
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I know of a family where this issue was always front and center. They are now happily divorced. In my family, and others that I interact with, this is a non-issue.
 
Old 06-05-2007, 03:54 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,176 posts, read 14,699,183 times
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Depends on the situation to me

But my parents whom have been married for 40 years told me growing up that their relationship with one another was #1 priority. I feel the same way. Although I will always be mommy to my children I have to work harder to be a wife.
 
Old 06-05-2007, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Miami. Florida
942 posts, read 2,583,375 times
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As a parent we tend to protect our children and I think this could jeopardize a marriage. I do believe that just because the spouse is a parent they are not always right. Each individual situation should be looked at exactly that; individual. I would never give up on my children so if my husband would ever make me choose I would broken heartedly say good riddens. But I would not take a child side over something simple to protect them, I also wouldn't take away my husbands authority in front of the boys. But when push comes to shove they are flesh of my flesh.
 
Old 06-05-2007, 05:05 PM
 
1,053 posts, read 3,367,805 times
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My parents celebrated their 50th anniversary last month... they always have and always will make each other number one over Anyone, that means anyone. I have had talks with them about this and the answer was pretty simple: this is what made them as a couple stronger than steel and, by keeping each other happy, enabled them to raise children in the very best way possible. Not with trump money, but with perseverence and example, determination, and God in their lives. They also said that, being the years they were born, and the world events that they lived through, wars, poverty because of war, that more people in those days clung together and were much more closely nit, not only with their families, but their neighbors as well. More people were willing to help even though they had hard times themselves. I'm getting a little bit away from the subject here but not really too far, I'm glad that my parents always put each other first, because, they are the ones who will live together before kids, during kids, and, many many years after the kids have gone. They are in their 70's now and run around like teenyboppers, or don't run around when they don't want to... all I can say is that I'm a lucky man to be able to call these two people Mom and Dad...
 
Old 06-05-2007, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Tampa
3,982 posts, read 10,460,170 times
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ive heard kids, and from the women ive talked too, that seems to be right.

then, they wonder why the relationship has problems!
 
Old 06-05-2007, 05:11 PM
 
5 posts, read 20,080 times
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A few years back I was talking to my pastor about some relationship issues. He asked me this: "If you were out on the lake in a boat with your husband and your child and the boat begin to sink and you were the only swimmer and could only save one, who would you save? Your husband or your child?" My answer was immediate and without hesitation - my child, of course. Children cannot be replaced. A husband or wife can. This is a no-brainer for me. My children come first. I'd die for either one of them.
 
Old 06-05-2007, 05:15 PM
 
Location: FL
1,942 posts, read 8,489,930 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonsavvy View Post
This might be a little controversial but I would love to hear the views of women and men on this topic.

Should a woman put her relationship with her spouse first or do her children come first?

I have my own little theory on this, but I'll remain quiet for the time being.
It depends on the situation. If a child wants his way, and the spouse doesn't want the child to have something....usually the spouse would come first so as not to be undermined.

If the spouse is needy and wants to be prioritized over the children...that is selfish and I would put my children first.

I guess I am the first one to say it, and so I am ready to hear all who disagree...but my children will ALWAYS come before my husband...I don't mean I will put they want over what he wants...but I would die for my children, in order to save them, but I wouldn't die for my husband...because I have children. Do you understand that? I couldn't imagine my life without my children...but at times I could think of life without my husband.

Unforunately, marriages do come and go. Most times, children do not.
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