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^ how much time indeed?
I just don't know. Give it time to see if he really makes an effort, it's been 2 weeks of him supposedly really thinking about his actions and if he can do the things he (or anyone) should do to have a healthy trusting relationship and now 3 days of reconciliation and no change. Maybe I shouldn't wait any longer.
I just don't know. And since I don't know I'll probably wait a little longer :-/ grrr
This sucks.
I just posted something similar to this in another thread earlier today.
I lived with someone for several years and we had issues and one of them was he didn't come home one night - so he not only hurt me he humiliated me in front of all our friends which were also our neighbors. That was only one issue of many. So, I took a vacation - alone - to give him some time and space to think about what he wanted and whether this was working or not for him. When I got home we talked calmly and rationally, he wanted to continue the relationship, but I was very explicit about what I needed and what changes I wanted to see and I said I would give it a month...and a month later I moved out. So, it's not unreasonable to set a time limit on things before you continue to waste more time and energy into something when out there is someone else who wants to reciprocate that.
To the op I say, your only move right now is to dump him. If it's meant to be, he will come crawling back begging for another chance. If not, he won't be back and then you can move on sooner rather than later. Dump him and move on.. You'll probably soon discover you can do a lot better.
To the op I say, your only move right now is to dump him. If it's meant to be, he will come crawling back begging for another chance. If not, he won't be back and then you can move on sooner rather than later. Dump him and move on.. You'll probably soon discover you can do a lot better.
Oh i didn't remember that part. LOL. At any rate, he's a cheater and you know what they say.
I just posted something similar to this in another thread earlier today.
I lived with someone for several years and we had issues and one of them was he didn't come home one night - so he not only hurt me he humiliated me in front of all our friends which were also our neighbors. That was only one issue of many. So, I took a vacation - alone - to give him some time and space to think about what he wanted and whether this was working or not for him. When I got home we talked calmly and rationally, he wanted to continue the relationship, but I was very explicit about what I needed and what changes I wanted to see and I said I would give it a month...and a month later I moved out. So, it's not unreasonable to set a time limit on things before you continue to waste more time and energy into something when out there is someone else who wants to reciprocate that.
Well said! But, recuerdeme, if you don't see any positive change then take heed, move on and don't hang around being a masochist! I prefer not to be judgmental but from your previous thread on this relationship it sounds as though this chap knows which buttons to push where you're concerned and is quite the player. Good luck!
I just posted something similar to this in another thread earlier today.
I lived with someone for several years and we had issues and one of them was he didn't come home one night - so he not only hurt me he humiliated me in front of all our friends which were also our neighbors. That was only one issue of many. So, I took a vacation - alone - to give him some time and space to think about what he wanted and whether this was working or not for him. When I got home we talked calmly and rationally, he wanted to continue the relationship, but I was very explicit about what I needed and what changes I wanted to see and I said I would give it a month...and a month later I moved out. So, it's not unreasonable to set a time limit on things before you continue to waste more time and energy into something when out there is someone else who wants to reciprocate that.
I think setting a time frame sounds like an excellent idea. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks but maybe the old dog might change his ways???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onglet39
To the op I say, your only move right now is to dump him. If it's meant to be, he will come crawling back begging for another chance. If not, he won't be back and then you can move on sooner rather than later. Dump him and move on.. You'll probably soon discover you can do a lot better.
Well that's part of the problem we separated and he did come back but he came back empty handed so to speak with nothing new or better to offer to make up for his wrong deeds and just to make the relationship better. But if we were to separate again it would be for good. And it could be soon.
I think I'll do the month of just observing and of course enjoying the relationship (if I can) and see if things get better.
I think setting a time frame sounds like an excellent idea. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks but maybe the old dog might change his ways???
Well that's part of the problem we separated and he did come back but he came back empty handed so to speak with nothing new or better to offer to make up for his wrong deeds and just to make the relationship better. But if we were to separate again it would be for good. And it could be soon.
I think I'll do the month of just observing and of course enjoying the relationship (if I can) and see if things get better.
Sounds to me like you have your answer. Dump him and move on with your life.
Wow, the very first answer and you basically nailed it. Good job.
To the OP: Yes, I know it's sad and it's not what you want to hear. But this is the most likely explanation for his behavior. Move on, it will be the best for you.
To the OP: This is the time that he should want to do anything to keep you in his life.. If he's not doing that its because you dont mean that much to him... Basically
HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!!!
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