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I recently turned 18 2 months ago. I have alot of friends(made alot of them in the last year), but not too many gfs. I've been on the relationship forum before and complained about still being a virgin. But I've done some soul searching, and I don't want a girlfriend for just the sexual aspect of a relationship. Im looking for a girl my age who wants to be my bestfriend, someone who wants too spend the rest of their lifes with me, and someone i want to spend my life with. And about sex, I've been thinking alot. Okay well Im pro-life, so if I got the wrong girl pregnant, and she gets an abortion thats on me too. Other negatives, having a kid at a young age is tough. I have older sisters who have several kids, and they have a rough time raising them. Plus theres always a risk of STDs. So I've decided Im really just going to kick back and wait for the right girl, and not worry about being a virgin right now. I mean I relaize in our society today its looked down apon not being laid, but for other people in my situation, even people older than me. Ask yourself is it really worth it? Feedback would be nice. And It would be cool to meet some people on CD who are doing the same thing Im deciding to do.
Good for you. I like the way you think. Very mature for your age.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,068,476 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed
I will join those who have given you kudos on making a mature decision. I don't understand why think people insist that sex is something to be taken lightly. I am most impressed with your reasons for waiting.
I will also echo "your own time frame". Do not let society dictate your timeline. Best of luck in finding your BFF/GF.
It's taken lightly - unless you're not having it , lol.
My gosh. It's so sad to live your life in fear. Fear of not finding the right person, fear of getting pregnant, fear of abortion, fear of disease, yikes.
I'm so very, very glad I am not a young person today. When I was 18 years old you had sex for FUN because it was just a really FUN thing to do. Today there is such NEGATIVITY, such a downer. Wow. I feel sorry for young people today.
20yrsinBranson
However, certain someone right now is not having sex at all. I won't point any fingers (pointing my finger up). Too much "fun" in a young age can burn you out for the future.
I recently turned 18 2 months ago. I have alot of friends(made alot of them in the last year), but not too many gfs. I've been on the relationship forum before and complained about still being a virgin. But I've done some soul searching, and I don't want a girlfriend for just the sexual aspect of a relationship. Im looking for a girl my age who wants to be my bestfriend, someone who wants too spend the rest of their lifes with me, and someone i want to spend my life with. And about sex, I've been thinking alot. Okay well Im pro-life, so if I got the wrong girl pregnant, and she gets an abortion thats on me too. Other negatives, having a kid at a young age is tough. I have older sisters who have several kids, and they have a rough time raising them. Plus theres always a risk of STDs. So I've decided Im really just going to kick back and wait for the right girl, and not worry about being a virgin right now.
Since you're a virgin you can't really say sex isn't worth it. Better wording would have been to say that you've simply decided to wait. Some of us do, some of us don't. Personally I started having sex when I was 16 and I don't regret it. Even now as an adult I don't think it was the wrong thing for me to do. I was always safe, and I didn't hop from partner to partner. I didn't have more than one partner at a time, and it always meant something to me. If you've decided not to have sex, well that's your decision. However, I encourage you to have sex with the person you want to marry before you get married. You can avoid a lot of heartache later that way by making sure you're compatible.
I know, I force myself to look and study all that... I'm so afraid to kiss a women now, they say most people will at least be exposed to a cold sore.. UCK!!!! I NEVER had that, I don't want one!!!!!!
I remember one time my bud got one after he met this girl. He had a big old red bubble on the side of his lip like he got hit by Mike Tyson. It was there for like 2-3 weeks.
You bring up a good point gwynedd1, women routinely make fun of a man who is inexperienced but at the same time they don't want a dog.
Here's a clue for some of you guys: Women -- real women -- do not make fun of an inexperienced young man. In fact, an inexperienced young man can be taught -- instead of guys who just assume they KNOW what does it for a woman, when so often they don't -- and in this day and age, someone who has not slept with every skirt who comes along is refreshing and very appealing.
To the OP: Please read Teatime's post below. Then print it and re-read it EVERY DAY and especially when others make fun of your decision or reason with you to try to tempt you into changing your mind, or whenever you feel weak or tempted to change your mind. Teatime's post is SO right. Best of luck to you -- you're 18 and there is plenty of time for everything!
Quote:
Originally Posted by teatime
OP: I think it's awesome that you're thinking this through rationally and you've made up your mind not to jump into anything. Good for you!!!
I felt exactly the same way when I was your age and have never regretted it. When I was a teen-ager, there weren't as many STDs (and they weren't as common) as there are now. AIDS didn't even exist until I was in college. But I had goals and dreams and wasn't going to let anything or anyone jeopardize them. One "ooops" can tie you to a loser and sidetrack your life if a pregnancy occurs.
I'm one of the very few in my graduating class who left the area, experienced life in other parts of the country, got to travel to other countries and enjoyed life. Most of them are still back there, with at least one failed marriage and pretty poor prospects. They got sexually involved with each other from high school and never had the guts or motivation to see what else is out there in the world. I had to laugh -- at the time of my last high school reunion, I was in Europe. A class organizer called my parents' house to find out why I hadn't RSVP-ed to the invitation. My mother laughed at the reaction she got when she told the organizer that I was in Europe and wouldn't be able to attend their "little party." Some people move on from high school and others don't. Be one who DOES!
As a high school teacher, I saw countless lives ruined because teens were sexually active. Diseases, unwanted pregnancies, constant fights and angst and turmoil. And when something bad happened because of their behavior, the kids would be amazed and insist they used condoms. Every time and EXACTLY as the directions say? Well, um, maybe/maybe not. Teen boys and girls flipping out because the girl's period is late, and they're suddenly facing issues that aren't "fun" and "awesome" anymore.
Some people here seem to think that self-control is odd or wrong. Weird, because I don't think there's anything more weird and wrong than a teen mother and father or contracting an STD at a young age or having one's college plans derailed and having to get a minimum wage job or go on welfare instead because you've got a kid. And the only way to ensure 100 percent that this does NOT happen is not to have sex in the first place. Harsh, but that's the way it is.
So don't mind the stupid comments who think that there isn't anything better than seeking the next sex partner. There is. Don't get me wrong, I love sex! But it needs to be put in perspective because it can really mess up your life, too, if you aren't careful with it.
Disagree with the OP although I'll say this is entirely dependent on the emotional stability of the person in question. Personally, I think, as unpopular as it may be "teen sex" was great for me. It built up myself esteem; I eased up around women and it removed a lot of the 'mystery' of it all from my day to day thoughts.
To the OP: Please read Teatime's post below. Then print it and re-read it EVERY DAY and especially when others make fun of your decision or reason with you to try to tempt you into changing your mind, or whenever you feel weak or tempted to change your mind. Teatime's post is SO right. Best of luck to you -- you're 18 and there is plenty of time for everything!
Thank you! I've just seen so many tragedies come about and it's refreshing to find a young guy who is actually thinking things through! He deserves support and respect -- not comments from a bunch of Al Bundys here who want to go on about "the good ole days."
I recently turned 18 2 months ago. I have alot of friends(made alot of them in the last year), but not too many gfs. I've been on the relationship forum before and complained about still being a virgin. But I've done some soul searching, and I don't want a girlfriend for just the sexual aspect of a relationship. Im looking for a girl my age who wants to be my bestfriend, someone who wants too spend the rest of their lifes with me, and someone i want to spend my life with. And about sex, I've been thinking alot. Okay well Im pro-life, so if I got the wrong girl pregnant, and she gets an abortion thats on me too. Other negatives, having a kid at a young age is tough. I have older sisters who have several kids, and they have a rough time raising them. Plus theres always a risk of STDs. So I've decided Im really just going to kick back and wait for the right girl, and not worry about being a virgin right now. I mean I relaize in our society today its looked down apon not being laid, but for other people in my situation, even people older than me. Ask yourself is it really worth it? Feedback would be nice. And It would be cool to meet some people on CD who are doing the same thing Im deciding to do.
So ur 18 and talking about spending ur whole life with someone. First of all, any women u approach with that idea thats about ur age is gonna run for the hills. Also, I have to ask, with this rhetoric, are you considered extremely attractive by traditional American standards? I ask b/c a hot guy at 18 is planning on how to get all the tail he can
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, lol.
I won't point any fingers (pointing my finger up). Too much "fun" in a young age can burn you out for the future.
