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A very good friend of mine came to the house on Saturday. We were scheduled to go out and see 'Death at the Funeral' so I was all prepared looking nice with my make up and everything. First comment as soon as she got through the door, "you can't live without your make-up now, can you?"
Um, okay .
In a playful way I said "I don't have any make-up on me, it's my natural skin girl!".
"Ha! You wish it was!" Um, kinda rude but I just let it slide.
So we went out, had fun, came back to the house and watched TV. On TV, there was a special documentary about a local has-been female singer who was talking about going back to the music scene and do a tour with her band all over the country. The woman (who looked like she was in her middle 50s) was talking like she's still in her 20s. So I said, "wow, isn't she a bit old for all that?" My friend was like "what do you mean? She is just about my age, 48. She's not old at all. Do you mean I am old too?" I said, "well, you're not exactly young". Next thing I know she's saying goodbye and stormed out of the door.
Question; when will people learn to accept that they are actually old? I'm in my early 30's and I will never get offended if a 17 year old thought I was old. I will never get offended if anybody thought I was old for that matter. Is it some type of insecurity? You can be old and still look good, so why get all offended?
at 30, you don't look much different from 25. At around 45-55, you suddenly notice that your reflection in the mirror and the close-up pictures don't reflect the 30-yo that you still feel inside. You start needing a bit more of assurance from other people, that you are not *that* old looking. In short, wait until your mirror starts lying and then you'll understand!
Some people are just more sensitive to their age and appearance. That's why there is an entire billion dollar industry in the cosmetic surgery field. Anti-aging creams, hair dye, make-up, wigs/toupees, face lifts, sun tans, etc. are all methods in place to help people look younger. Perhaps if the two of you were the same age she wouldn't have been as sensitive to your remark, but she's got about 15 years on you and could be she's struggling with her age and appearance. Maybe she's going through "the change" right now and she's just hyper-sensitive?
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissLucky
A very good friend of mine came to the house on Saturday. We were scheduled to go out and see 'Death at the Funeral' so I was all prepared looking nice with my make up and everything. First comment as soon as she got through the door, "you can't live without your make-up now, can you?"
Um, okay .
In a playful way I said "I don't have any make-up on me, it's my natural skin girl!".
"Ha! You wish it was!" Um, kinda rude but I just let it slide.
So we went out, had fun, came back to the house and watched TV. On TV, there was a special documentary about a local has-been female singer who was talking about going back to the music scene and do a tour with her band all over the country. The woman (who looked like she was in her middle 50s) was talking like she's still in her 20s. So I said, "wow, isn't she a bit old for all that?" My friend was like "what do you mean? She is just about my age, 48. She's not old at all. Do you mean I am old too?" I said, "well, you're not exactly young". Next thing I know she's saying goodbye and stormed out of the door.
Question; when will people learn to accept that they are actually old? I'm in my early 30's and I will never get offended if a 17 year old thought I was old. I will never get offended if anybody thought I was old for that matter. Is it some type of insecurity? You can be old and still look good, so why get all offended?
Are you kidding? You're a bit rude and catty and you wonder why someone would be offended? Really?
Aside from that, I'll never understand why women have to put other women down for doing what they love just because they reach a certain age. You're never too old to do what you love until you think you are. Who says life is only for the young to live? That's an old person's mentality. You can be old at any age.
I don't think people necessarily get "offended with their age" -- I think mostly people get offended by the proposition that, once you go past 30, you might as well roll over and die.
When it comes to age, America is a bit of an imponderable to me. On the one hand, this is the only country that I know of where a 50-year-old can go back to college and start a new career without anyone laughing at him or people thinking it's weird. On the other hand, this country has a youth-obsessed culture that dictates that virtually all the exciting, beautiful things can only be enjoyed legitimately by people in their teens or 20's. Once you are out of that category, anything you do that doesn't fit into the dour suburban lifestyle is deemed to be a pathetic attempt to recapture your youth -- and this is especially true for women. I bet no one said anything when you put on your mascara at 22 -- but fast forward 10 years, and all of a sudden, it's an attempt to hide your ridiculously old, basically prehistoric age. And the same with singers. People retain good voices into old age. What does it mean that a singer in her late 40's should "accept her age"? That she should stop singing, move to Florida and go to early bird dinners at Denny's? Look around this forum, too -- a good number of its threads are dedicated to discussing how gross and pathetic women over 30 are (and over 40 -- forget it). I think that's what offends people; the refusal to recognize that, though it's hard to keep the body of a 20-year-old into your 40's, there are advantages that come with age, such as sexual experience (and the breakdown of sexual inhibitions), wealth, sophistication and intelligence.
If only people wouldn't write each other off out of hand, ageing wouldn't be so traumatic.
I don't think people necessarily get "offended with their age" -- I think mostly people get offended by the proposition that, once you go past 30, you might as well roll over and die.
When it comes to age, America is a bit of an imponderable to me. On the one hand, this is the only country that I know of where a 50-year-old can go back to college and start a new career without anyone laughing at him or people thinking it's weird. On the other hand, this country has a youth-obsessed culture that dictates that virtually all the exciting, beautiful things can only be enjoyed legitimately by people in their teens or 20's. Once you are out of that category, anything you do that doesn't fit into the dour suburban lifestyle is deemed to be a pathetic attempt to recapture your youth -- and this is especially true for women. I bet no one said anything when you put on your mascara at 22 -- but fast forward 10 years, and all of a sudden, it's an attempt to hide your ridiculously old, basically prehistoric age. And the same with singers. People retain good voices into old age. What does it mean that a singer in her late 40's should "accept her age"? That she should stop singing, move to Florida and go to early bird dinners at Denny's? Look around this forum, too -- a good number of its threads are dedicated to discussing how gross and pathetic women over 30 are (and over 40 -- forget it). I think that's what offends people; the refusal to recognize that, though it's hard to keep the body of a 20-year-old into your 40's, there are advantages that come with age, such as sexual experience (and the breakdown of sexual inhibitions), wealth, sophistication and intelligence.
If only people wouldn't write each other off out of hand, ageing wouldn't be so traumatic.
Betty Friedan wrote her another seminal book, "The Fountain of Age", sometime in the late 80s-early 90s, I think. Yet her efforts of dispelling the curse and invisibility of older people, didn't take as well and didn't revolutionize society as her feminism works did. It's easier to combat sexism in North America than ageism, it seems?
I don't think people necessarily get "offended with their age" -- I think mostly people get offended by the proposition that, once you go past 30, you might as well roll over and die.
That's exactly what I think and I know from personal experience that people also expect you to have interests that they associate with someone about your age which is incredibly stupid. For example I played in rock bands for years when I was young but at 61 I still love the same kind of music I did back then although I've also expanded my interests and discovered a variety of other music I like. Just because I'm over 60 doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly start watching Lawrence Welk reruns or walk around a golf course wearing plaid shorts like some kind of jackass.
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