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My neighbors are a lesbian couple and they jsut moved in about 3 months ago. I honestly never noticed because I work long hours and don't have time to scrutinize the neighbors or how they live. I assumed it was a guy, his wife and their kids.
However, these two women (with their 2 little kids) seem itching for a fight. I happened to catch them "cuddling" one morning before work when I was putting out my trash cans and now they glare whenever they see me.
I didn't stare at them but did a double take. No one around here is gay openly. I think it may just surprise some people to see two women kissing in front of their house.
I don't care what they do or how they live but THEY seem to have a problem!
The one woman (masculine one) is ANGRY. She stares at me when I get in my car, when I water my shrubs, whatever.
Don't tell me to go over and say hi. The woman GLARES at me. I don't look at them funny or giggle or whatever. I just want to enjoy my front yard again.
I spoke with my neighbor on the other side of the street (who I do talk to). She is a widow who is the neighborhood yentah. Anyhow she says she spoke the the "wife" and the woman says they want to be free and open here and will not tolerate anyone "making them feel uncomfortable."
Now I feel like I am uncomfortable whenever I run into them. What can I do?
When she glared at you that would have been the perfect opportunity to look at her, smile, wave and say hi. Perhaps she thought that your ignoring her was a sign that she wasn't welcome. After all, put yourself in their shoes for a moment. What if you just move into a new neighborhood and none of your neighbors even looked at you or said hello as you stood in front of your house? You probably wouldn't feel too welcome.
Take the high road and nex time they "glare" at you, smile and say hello, then introduce yourself. If after you've said hello and broke the ice you feel as though you are still being snubbed or looked at sideways, just ignore them.
I see 2 choices here..........
1) Take yourself over there and talk about it, which I am not sure will work if they are that openly hostile about it........
2) Ignore them, which I dont know if that will work either.
Or perhaps you could take a bottle of wine (or a casserole?) over there and welcome them to the neighborhood.
Here in the South, we call that "politing them to death", seems to work every time. They cant be rude after that without looking like out and out jerks, take the neighbor on the other side with you!
Good luck!
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,000,387 times
Reputation: 9418
Well, normally, I'd say do what I'd do for any new neighbor; send flowers, a new houseplant or if you bake, some brownies or something and say welcome to the neighborhood. But if they're the type who are always watching in their peripheral vision for someone to do something they could construe as homophobic and pick a fight over, maybe even making public displays to try to provoke a response they could construe as homophobic, there's not going to be anything you can do but try to steer clear. Maybe try waving and smiling next time you see them and see if demeanors change.
Perhaps you're unintentionally glaring at them when you see them outside, which puts them on the defensive. Next time they're outside when you are, just say "Good Morning/Afternoon!" and leave it at that.
[SIZE=3]I think there is some embarrassment here. You did a double take and that may have felt uncomfortable or even rude to them. Try to keep in mind; seldom do us straits have to deal with people doing a double take when we hug our husbands. I’m sure it’s not a comfortable feeling for them but I’m also sure you didn’t mean to be rude or make them feel badly. Yet, understand you may have. Frankly the initial blunder was yours. The glares are rude but are in response to your action. It seems you now have a “situation” that has grown from an unintentional blunder. It’s awkward for everyone. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Be sure you are not drawing some line in the sand. The best thing to do is to kill them with kindness. Since you don’t want to say “hello” – can you manage to smile and wave? A friendly, neighborly “good morning” & wave can go a long way to smoothing things over without becoming evolved in conversation. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]If you can’t be friends with your neighbors be adults. In the end you will both be happier and more at ease. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Best wishes. [/SIZE]
My neighbors are a lesbian couple and they jsut moved in about 3 months ago. I honestly never noticed because I work long hours and don't have time to scrutinize the neighbors or how they live. I assumed it was a guy, his wife and their kids.
However, these two women (with their 2 little kids) seem itching for a fight. I happened to catch them "cuddling" one morning before work when I was putting out my trash cans and now they glare whenever they see me.
I didn't stare at them but did a double take. No one around here is gay openly. I think it may just surprise some people to see two women kissing in front of their house.
I don't care what they do or how they live but THEY seem to have a problem!
The one woman (masculine one) is ANGRY. She stares at me when I get in my car, when I water my shrubs, whatever.
Don't tell me to go over and say hi. The woman GLARES at me. I don't look at them funny or giggle or whatever. I just want to enjoy my front yard again.
I spoke with my neighbor on the other side of the street (who I do talk to). She is a widow who is the neighborhood yentah. Anyhow she says she spoke the the "wife" and the woman says they want to be free and open here and will not tolerate anyone "making them feel uncomfortable."
Now I feel like I am uncomfortable whenever I run into them. What can I do?
Nothing. Continue living and doing your thing. They probably have been under scrutiny before and now they are acting almost defensively.
If you continue doing your thing, sooner or later they will realize that you have nothing against them and this whole thing will blow over.
I wouldn't try to be overly nice to them. They will sense "fakeness".
When she glared at you that would have been the perfect opportunity to look at her, smile, wave and say hi. Perhaps she thought that your ignoring her was a sign that she wasn't welcome. After all, put yourself in their shoes for a moment. What if you just move into a new neighborhood and none of your neighbors even looked at you or said hello as you stood in front of your house? You probably wouldn't feel too welcome.
Take the high road and nex time they "glare" at you, smile and say hello, then introduce yourself. If after you've said hello and broke the ice you feel as though you are still being snubbed or looked at sideways, just ignore them.
Go over there and explain to them you have a Weenis. If they look confused, show them.
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