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Recently, I had someone break-up with me because she claimed that I was "too sweet" to her. When I asked her why she felt this way, she left, only saying, "You are like cotton candy, everybody likes cotton candy, but after too much of it, it makes you sick". Now from my point of view as a guy, I didn't think that it was possible to be "too sweet". It took me a little while, but I've finally moved on. My question to you all is what do you think about this? Can a guy really be "too sweet", and if so, how?? Thank you very much in advance for your imput!!! -mmccul
It is possible to be too much good or bad. But you'd have to be more specific because it is subjective. How are you too sweet? What was it that bothered her?
Meh....nevermind her words. She would rather be with someone who treats her like crap! She will respect your sweetness someday!
This is exactly what I've been thinking!!! Thank you!!!
To answer the questions "How was I too sweet" and "What did I do/say". That's just it, I really don't know. When we first started talking, she randomly said that she thought it was cute when a guy left her little notes at random moments. So, about a week later, I placed a little note in her handbag while she wasn't looking. She absolutely loved it, and she wrote one in return. We did this multiple times, the notes getting more and more romantic as we became closer and closer. I am also a man of chilvary, whenever we went somewhere together, I always opened the door for her, letting her walk through first. I also called her "baby" on occasion, which always made her smile. The thing is she never could say what I did that was to sweet, even when I asked her nicely. So I'm guessing it could have been one of the above or all of the above.
Just like Yankeegirl313 said, it's almost like she wants someone who is aggressive, or abusive. I am currently studying some psychology, and I have read about something called trauma reenactant symdrome. This is where somebody is used to a certain type of trauma or even abuse, and they try to reenact this trauma in their current life, because it is what they are used to. A friend of hers told me she was with a guy about a year ago who was a "complete jerk", so that lead me to believe it could be something related to this. It's like she still wants that, sad, but kind of interesting... -mmccul
This is exactly what I've been thinking!!! Thank you!!!
To answer the questions "How was I too sweet" and "What did I do/say". That's just it, I really don't know. When we first started talking, she randomly said that she thought it was cute when a guy left her little notes at random moments. So, about a week later, I placed a little note in her handbag while she wasn't looking. She absolutely loved it, and she wrote one in return. We did this multiple times, the notes getting more and more romantic as we became closer and closer. I am also a man of chilvary, whenever we went somewhere together, I always opened the door for her, letting her walk through first. I also called her "baby" on occasion, which always made her smile. The thing is she never could say what I did that was to sweet, even when I asked her nicely. So I'm guessing it could have been one of the above or all of the above.
Just like Yankeegirl313 said, it's almost like she wants someone who is aggressive, or abusive. I am currently studying some psychology, and I have read about something called trauma reenactant symdrome. This is where somebody is used to a certain type of trauma or even abuse, and they try to reenact this trauma in their current life, because it is what they are used to. A friend of hers told me she was with a guy about a year ago who was a "complete jerk", so that lead me to believe it could be something related to this. It's like she still wants that, sad, but kind of interesting... -mmccul
I don't see anything over the top in what you're saying. But how it progessed, how quickly and how often could be the issue. How long were you together? Did you guys move too quickly?
You may have smothered her, she may not really know what she wants, but to immediately suggest that she would rather be with someone who abuses her is a bit much. Knowing of one guy who was a jerk to her doesn't suggest that this what she prefers, like it was a pattern for her.
The following is not directed at the OP. I don't even know him. I am stating my humble opinion, derived from my personal experiences from dating a few. If I had known myself better, I wouldn't have gone there. But I did.
No, a guy can't be too sweet. But a guy can be too passive and wimpy, indecisive, fearful. Too much feminine energy. The women who want to be the female in the relationship, it turns them off.
I've met guys who present to be very sweet, and a little bit into the relationship, I notice they have problems setting relationship boundaries with people, usually family members. They allow others to walk on them, and a grown fully-formed woman may feel pity or compassion for them in that state, but it will be hard for them to respect them in their relationship. As regards their partner, she will usually see indecisiveness and chronic fear of commitment. I think the "sweet" guy is afraid to let people close, so he just does for them and becomes well liked, but not loved and understood. He craves approval. A very superficial setting for an intimate relationship.
Let's be clear. a man cannot be too kind, considerate, thoughtful, polite, honest and helpful. It's just important not to confuse sweet with passive.
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She will respect your sweetness someday! 
