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Oh I most definently am enjoying my single life...Mind you, this isn't about 'relationship', this is about dating. Something that doesn't exist in this town...
Going to a bar and getting drunk does not count as a date...
Who said you have to get drunk at a bar? Seems to me you already have these preconceived notions about people that you haven't even met yet. I've been single for many years, and occasionaly go out with someone that I find interesting, compatable, etc, but I sure don't let being without a date every friday or saturday night get me down. Enjoy life, and stop being bitter about things that have happened in the past....get over it. I've seen soooo many young women such as you have these unrealistic expectations when looking for a mate..(or even a date). Must drive a certain class of car, must wear certain clothes, a certain look, etc,etc. How shallow! Acting like a high-maintenance drama queen sure wont get you many dates....in this town or any other. Moving somewhere else isn't going to help your situation either....the problem still exists no matter where you go. Lighten up and have fun! Good luck!
I'm a little confused? Are you saying it's hard to have an interracial relationship because you are an attractive single black female or it's hard for you to date...period no matter the race?
Also, what brings you to SA? Military, job, school, etc and where are you originally from?
My point exactly. In New York, people walk everywhere. Would that have happened here? What is there to talk about? The heat? Whereas here, the oppurtunity to meet people 'naturally' and 'just have fun' does not exist. Whenever I go to a public place here in town, everyone is either already with someone, or in their own group. Its a family town. I dont want a family.
Funny. I met my husband at a public place in San Antonio. We had a lot of things to talk about - the world, cultures, art, music, people, places, the Spurs (for the record, he'd just moved here from Europe and didn't really know much about them, I had just come from watching us lose to the Lakers - Spurs later won the championship though - so it was on my mind).
I've made friends in the neighborhood, at local watering holes (oops, a bar), bookstore....
No, it's not that easy to meet your soulmate any place, but making casual acquaintance? just takes the right attitude.
and btw - I'm not surprised you don't see that many black/hispanic couples in SA. The reality is, the Black population is relatively small here, so just by virtue of small numbers you're not going to see that many.
Seems like you're trying really hard to push buttons. Do you act this way in real life? If so, that is your problem. No one wants to buy a burger from a button-pusher, let alone go to dinner and a movie.
Sapph
We both know you and I rarely see eye-to-eye on anything, but I gotta give you credit when credit's due...you nailed it with this one!
I agree with you on that and everything you said. Some places, however are more difficult.
Originally, I was going to ask why is it so hard to date in San Antonio, but I've already listed the reasons as to why I threw race in their.
Like I said to someone already, even if the racial equation was taken out, would that make it easier to date in San Antonio? No! Besides, how can anyone date when everyone is flying by in their cars, no one walks along the street?
My point exactly. In New York, people walk everywhere. Would that have happened here? What is there to talk about? The heat? Whereas here, the oppurtunity to meet people 'naturally' and 'just have fun' does not exist. Whenever I go to a public place here in town, everyone is either already with someone, or in their own group. Its a family town. I dont want a family.
I have met men everywhere...I was in the HEB the other day running in for some small items when a guy noticed me and he whispered loudly to his friend she is hot... Then I flashed him the ring and he got flustered and was disappointed....I even had a closer encounter with the guy at Barnes and Nobles La Cantera who was trying to sell me a nook which lead to are you single and I told him no...I had a guy help me with a stroller on the river walk and he asked if I was divorced (wasn't wearing my ring that day)...Ooooh and my absolute favorite was going to the YMCA on a tour when a guy riding a bike stopped and smiled to ask if I was joining and he hoped to see me around (he was hot!)...And another was at the Valero while playing powerball... So I have met men who are keen and interested but alas I am married to my hubby who is the hottest of them all.
I am not Tyra, Beyonce, Shakira, Claudia Schiffer or any woman who is a model. I am just a mom.
My point is you can meet men even here in SA and using opportunity and cautious judgement.
Last edited by CD's Only Mrs. X; 05-17-2010 at 06:03 PM..
Reason: the baby did a few typo's!
Thats not true...Im otherwise happy with the quality of life here, its just the dating scene sucks. And the dating scene has alot to do with whether Im happy or plain frustrated.
Well, here's to hoping you get stung by the love bug soon
I am not Tyra, Beyonce, Shakira, Claudia Schiffer or any woman who is a model. I am just a mom
Ok you're not a superstar or model. So what. But are you a White mom? A Hispanic mom? Black mom? Asian mom? By the sound of it "you're hot" sounds like it came from a White guy which probably means you're also White? But since he didn't approach you, Im also thinking Hispanic (thats too easy).
Its not going to be the same per person. Its not 'the same everywhere' and people are going to get different results. I just had a guy email me here saying many of the Black girls here seem to be into the 'thug types'.
So thats even more working against me! So not only does it seem like there is no interest here, but even if there is interest, they are afraid that she'll only be into other Black guys...which, in a city as narrow-minded as San Antonio, its probably true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by perticusrex
Well, here's to hoping you get stung by the love bug soon
I thought I was stung by a love bug with the last guy, but he just ended up being a fly...fly by night...
Bless your heart, it seems like you feel the past few months have been pretty rough. When you say the dating scene is dead, do you mean the opportunities for you to meet other potential dates are minimal? Or that when you do ask someone out (because women can do that) or they ask you out, there aren't adequate choices of places to go?
Re: places to meet people to date - Do you volunteer anywhere? Go to church? Take college classes or community ed. classes at an area college? Walk your dog (or a friend's dog) at the park? Take a book and read it over lunch somewhere? Do you work near where you live (I know - heaven forfend - northeast side)? If not, do you do anything around where you work so you might meet people in that area if it is a more desirable area for you? I am just curious because I have single female friends of all races/ethnicities who live in various areas of town, from your age range up to late 40s, and the majority of them have to beat the men off with a stick.
I do hope things start to look up for you because I can't imagine being so miserable for so long and remaining in that situation (dating scene, choice of apartment complex, friends, etc.).
I'm getting ready to go on a date now...I'll answer above question when I get back!
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Seems to me you already have these preconceived notions about people that you haven't even met yet. I've been single for many years, and occasionaly go out with someone that I find interesting, compatable, etc, but I sure don't let being without a date every friday or saturday night get me down. Enjoy life, and stop being bitter about things that have happened in the past....get over it. I've seen soooo many young women such as you have these unrealistic expectations when looking for a mate..(or even a date). Must drive a certain class of car, must wear certain clothes, a certain look, etc,etc. How shallow! Acting like a high-maintenance drama queen sure wont get you many dates....in this town or any other. Moving somewhere else isn't going to help your situation either....the problem still exists no matter where you go. Lighten up and have fun! Good luck! 
(for the record, he'd just moved here from Europe and didn't really know much about them, I had just come from watching us lose to the Lakers - Spurs later won the championship though - so it was on my mind). 
