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No.No...and NO! Im 23, and like Desert, I dont even like kids. They irritate the crap out of me, and what most people find cute about them makes me cringe.
Yes, I get flak about it at times, because while Im polite to a coworker that has a baby, I dont fawn over it.
Should we invite these kind folks over to the thread about screaming children in restaurants? [URL="http://******************"]http://******************/vicious-smiley-1860.gif (broken link)[/URL]
If you, as a human, have NO desire or drive to reproduce then I think that's Nature sending out a signal. You should NOT reproduce. Not trying to be mean but essentially, you are not viable for the proliferation of the specie; you're not really part of the specie yourself, not anymore -- rather, you're a resource. There's something in you which is a biological dead end in some capacity. I do not mean that detrimentally; you're all still capable of being productive, intelligent beings with something to contribute to the world -- but if you feel that way that strongly I SUPPORT it because you clearly were not meant to reproduce.
I don't mean that in a worthy/not worthy of reproduction manner, I'm speaking practically. There are loads of people out there reproducing who shouldn't be. You all are just smart enough to realize it, and I think that's admirable!
Urb, if I had a buck for every person who told me I should have had kids, I could take you out to lunch. Why? Because I'm smart. As you said, too many people are having kids who shouldn't be. To build upon your premise, that's because they're too dumb to realize it. They're the living, breathing representation of all the research that shows the negative correlation between fertility and intelligence--as in, the higher the IQ, the fewer the offspring, and the lower the IQ, the more offspring. That's the whole point of Idiocracy.
It's not absolute--my mother's IQ was 163 and she had four kids and two miscarriages. (She was also Catholic and of another generation.) But the negative correlation has been shown again and again.
I never wanted kids. I don't trust that men who say they don't want them will always feel that way. They can have kids in later years and can change their mind in their 40s+. I'm not sure men tend to give the matter as much thought as women do since mothers are the primary caregivers with the most parental duties.
Please refrain from "if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't" or "I didn't want them, but then my little miracle came along" stories! hehe
Just the women who don't want kids. Tell me what life is like for you, how old are you? Do you get a lot of grief for your decision? Is there pressure from your family and friends? How do you deal with it?
Thanks
I was wondering how many posts before someone ignored that request. Didn't take long.
I turned 50 a few months ago. That really seemed to be a benchmark for me. By that age, my older sister had 5 grandkids. I expect my brother and younger sister will also be grandparents by that age.
I never wanted them, period. Never had the least interest, not a single regret, am convinced that childfreedom is not as much a choice for some people as an orientation. It makes me wonder if there is some sort of genetic component to that. Like steelstress noted, it makes for a quiet, uncomplicated life – just like my mate and I want. Hitting the ½ century mark just seems to be a settling point that my life will never be like that of people who do have kids – a reflection that makes me realize how at peace I am about it. My mate and I are making decisions for our old age that are much different than our siblings. There is something of an assumption with them that their kids will not exactly “take care of them”, but they will be around to be depended upon.
I did get the pressure when I was younger and, never having been around someone who openly chose to not have kids, I wasn’t sure how to deal with the remarks I heard. I knew I would never have kids, but fumbled with the social conventions that dictate the Life Script. I just kept giving people excuses. It wasn’t until I began dating the man who would become my husband that I realized the necessity of taking a stand. Which turned out to be kind of weird because when I brought the subject up, and stated that I had no interest in being a parent, his reply was “didn’t think so. I don’t want kids either.” We were lucky in that we just seemed to sense that similarity between us.
Selfish – when people use that word to describe themselves in choosing to be childfree, I want to box their ears and say “would you stop using that word!” *bap bap* There is nothing selfish in saying that parenthood is not for you. For most CFers, that is really the point. The definition of selfish is to have a lack of regard for others; to perform acts without concern as to how it will impact others. What’s most important is that we all make choices that will bring the most satisfaction to our lives and the least amount of impact to others. I’m not hurting anyone or causing deprivation by my CF orientation. It would be selfish of me to have kids because they would clearly be unwanted.
Please refrain from "if it happens it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't" or "I didn't want them, but then my little miracle came along" stories! hehe
Just the women who don't want kids. Tell me what life is like for you, how old are you? Do you get a lot of grief for your decision? Is there pressure from your family and friends? How do you deal with it?
Thanks
I could never get with a woman who doesn't want children. Who doesn't want children?! They seem to be the only innocent thing left on Earth. I think women who don't want children are very selfish and self absorbed individuals. They either don't want to ruin their figure, or they are cold and depressed. And to make this gender-friendly, I think men who don't want children are immature and childish as well. They don't want children because most likely they are one themselves.
Because of the number of parents replying even though the OP was specifically asking to hear from non-breeding females? Yeah.
That's why I recommend childfree boards for these kinds of conversations. When they occur here it gives me a chance to recommend Welcome to The Childfree Life
I admire that particular site for its moderation. There are more hardcore sites that some CFs are comfortable with; even prefer over a place like TCFL; but an introduction to a large group of childfree people is usually best done there. Those who are more militant can then be directed to the hardcore places.
Not always, geez!
DD is in her early twenties and has made known for many years that she has absolutely no desire for children, ever. I am behind her 100%.
Been there, done that, know how hard it is and why it's not the right thing for everyone. Completely understand.
It's her dad who gives her grief about her decision.
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Didn't take long. 
