Looking for Tolerance (Buddhists, hell, America, church)

[Hope101]

Hello everyone,
My husband is in the military, and we recently went house hunting. We were considering retiring here because my parents are here. When we went driving around, I started to freak out and I had a panic attack. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I am not saying what state we are in. We are an interracial couple, and Buddhists. We live in the south, and we have had so many bad experiences with religion/racial prejudice. Both of us are military brats and we spent most of our lives overseas. I am so freaked out by the level of religious intolerance here. It is really bad, and I am becoming so afraid. I know how this will sound and believe me, I feel just awful about it, but I have developed a fear of Christians. I hate being so frightened; it makes me sad and angry. I have to keep my religious beliefs hidden here, and it makes it so hard.
Because I spent most of my life overseas, I wonder if all of America is so intolerant and hateful when it comes to religion. We want to find a state where we can be free with our beliefs. I shouldn’t have college professors tell me I’m going to burn in hell. I shouldn’t have a professor, who is on a panel to except students into a program, ask if we had a problem with her quoting the bible in class every night, and then tell us that she never hires non-Christians because they are unethical and immoral people. My children shouldn’t have to be told that their loved ones were going to burn in hell, from a bible reading substitute teacher. My lawyer should not have told me that we need to “get to church.” When my coworkers screamed at me, spit on me, and followed me when they discovered I’m not Christian, my boss shouldn’t have told me “well, what do you expect, you’re not a Christian.” I am an American. I should not have to live in fear.
I just do not understand. Why so much anger, and hate? We are all human. Everyone’s spiritual beliefs are something each individual has to figure out for themselves. I respect people as human beings, regardless of religious beliefs, race, sexual orientation etc…We are all on our own paths. I just wish I could walk my path unafraid, in a free country.
So, I am worried that this is just the way it is in the states. I haven’t been many other places in the states, and I hope that this behavior is not the norm. We are currently looking for orders out of here and we would like to find a state we can retire in. Are there any suggestions?

[nicolepsy]

i think that either coast would be best (many different types of people on the coasts) and NOT the south or midwest or anyplace between the coasts.

[MRiedl]

Well, I live in Minnesota, and as far as racial and religious intolerance go, I have seen very little, and all of that being of a minor nature.

I agree with nicolepsy regarding the coasts, though I have to disagree regarding the midwest as my experience says otherwise.

Admittedly I can only really vouch for Minnesota though.

In any case, I think it is safe to say, avoiding the "bible belt" in general would be a step out of harm's way.

[chielgirl]

I'd say move out of the US if possible. SE Asia is quite tolerant of religious practice and is filled with Buddhists.

You have to admit the military is filled with whacko religious crazies also.

Good luck.

[Hope101]

Thank you for the advice There are certianly some religious nutz in the military, but maybe because of the great diversity in the military, we haven't really had as bad a problem from that respect. My hubbie did grow up in Okinawa, and Japan is an option for us. Eventually, though, we would like to settle down in the states. Thank you guys once again

[Mooseketeer]

I think the North-East and California ( San Francisco maybe) are the best places for you by the sound of it.
You could try moving to Canada, they seem pretty tolerant as a Nation .

And I agree with you, the level of intolerance even on this forum has been a real eye opener to me.
I had never realised how fanatic and fundamentalist some "Christians" are and how afraid they seem of anyone different.

I had only had experience of European Christians and they seem like a different breed altogether.

Some of the things I read make my skin crawl but bear in mind most Christians and most posters on this forum for example are nice, kind and decent people , it's just that a small minority is extremely vocal and a tad bizarre sometimes.
They just shout louder, that's all !

The Deep South is probably not for you though from personal experience !

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Hope, I totally understand how you feel, I am getting close to having a fear of them myself and I grew up one. I do have friends who are christian and I am OK with them but with people I don't know, I am affraid to say anything about who I really am and what I really believe.

My heart goes out to anyone experiencing this, I do hope you find a place to be happy but I can't imagine the South is the place considering not only that you are not christian (the South being the so called bible belt) AND a mixed race couple. Race is still such a HUGE issue, its sad that people who think of themselves as being so progressive are really so blind and hateful.

I hope you find a place where you and your family can be at peace and feel at home.

[Hope101]

Thank you very much for your kindness I think I would like California, but it seems a bit expensive there. My kids are so ready to move. They have only known this place, and they are ready to see what other places are like. My daughter thinks that younger people are more tolerant, and she thinks things will change in the future.

I also grew up Christian, and I had a deep respect for the faith. I have to watch it with people that I do not know as well (basically, most non-military people here). It is so sad. I try to look at everything in my life as a lesson, and a growing experience. I see this as a way not to behave towards others, and to be even more compassionate and understanding of anyone who is different. Thanks again for understanding

[urbanlemur]

I too, would recommend the coastal regions. I lived in the SF Bay Area for many years and now live in NYC. For some reason, the more inland you go, the more "intolerance" you are apt to find.

As a christian, I have to comment that I feel very bad for you that you have been put through these situations. While I do believe in witnessing to others who wish to hear, I also believe that the comments/actions by these folks are doing a grave disservice as noted in your post. Believe me, there are good christians out there as well as those in other religions who can discuss their beliefs to others without the rough edges. I wish you well in your search.

[nicolepsy]

check out florida also.