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Ok well it's been a while but im back again.
As much as it will dissapoint some of you I do have a confession to make (it all evolves around the uncertainty of my existance) I started to become slightly superstitious as I started growing older (I was born 6lb6onces and 6 weeks premature) the dreaded 666 (or so I thought) I was born (on as they would call it a blac friday) friday 13th 1981 (just adding insult to injury) after distincing myself from any religious organisations I started becoming curious into other things like astrology and horoscopes, I started buying books such as the orocal, books on magic and spells (I did not attempt any of these it was just an interest) tarrot cards, dictionarys on dreams etc. I did read them but did not practice, the way I saw it was a way to try and further my understanding. I was having strange feelings and they where entering my life in similar ways as to what I was seeing them. As morbid as it seems I knew what was going to happen with my first two children. I knew she was pregnant before she did (hence the reason she got a test) and I knew (even though it killed me inside) that she would have an abortion. With my second child about 6 weeks before he was born I kept getting visions of him being blue and without life (I did not vision exactly how it happened though) I have been able to tell my wife when she is pregnant and what sex the baby is (some things i have been able to see in advance yet others I haven't) this is the reason I did take an interest into these different things. One thing I have noticed though is all my visions have been things close to me (never had visions of the winning lottery numbers so some how it is selective what I see, things that seem to effect me emotionaly and personaly). I do not claim to be a prophet so why would I have an insight to these things, this is one question that I cant answer.
I have had 2 experiences in my time of a different nature
1) I was walking to church one evening and I was passing two older people
(I spoke a home family launage) and they where speaking as if they where trying to offend me (I thought since I had had beatings before and lived I would stand my ground after all I was still alive) "ya taking the mick like" I shouted at them, anyhow they both started walking towards me and I had not realised how much bigger they where because I passed them with my head down when I heard them, anyhow it's not like it seemed, believe it or not they where actualy elders from another church (speaking in tongue) evangelistic church, we had a conversation then they prayed over me (and spoke in tongue) all of a sudden I felt the spirit over me, It is hard to explain but my full body trembled inside and I went weak, I collapsed and they cought me before my head hit the floor.
Q1) Was this the spirit or was it because I suffer from anxity?
2) when I was in my youth I drank to much, any how to cut a long story short I collapsed and knocked myself unconsious. I was rushed to hospital (as my mates had called for an ambulance and one of them had gone to get my mother) anyhow in hospital I took a turn for the worst, my lung had collapsed and my heart had stopped (I dont know wether you know this but a hospital can only try to resusitate you for 5 mins before they have to make the call) it took them 4mins 37secs to bring me back and stabilize me.
Many people claim to see the light or have family waiting for them when they have a N.D.E or floating above their body, I had nothing, just complete utter silence and darkness
Q2) why would this be, after everything I had been through and endured, why was nothing possitive shown to me even if it was just to guide me if I was going in the wrong direction?
Now you might understand why I have classed this work as AN OPEN MIND.
first off, i would warn you that you have opened up a can o' worms big enough to excite a lot of people. i am sure that some, from both sides, are thinking all sorts of nasty things about you for this. not really any fault of your own. you are encouraged to talk through life experiences and stuff, and hopefully people can be kind and caring enough to listen to and appreciate your feelings. some people are just too narrow-minded to accept it.
i think that there is a real possibility that you did feel something special there. i believe in God, and in His Son's sacrifice. i believe that the Spirit does direct and guide us, and that we can feel His presence when we open our minds and our hearts.
at the same time though, i think that people are impressionable, and that if you look too hard for something, you will find it, whether or not it is there. God does not do things in a timetable that makes sense to us usually. i have asked for guidance before and have gone away feeling empty. usually it is just cuz i'm too ignorant to see the answers that have been there the whole time, but sometimes i get the feeling that it is to test my patience, humility, or dedication. i do end up with an answer though, eventually. so i can't say why you didn't get a light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel experience. i don't think that it is an inalienable right or a normal occurance, so i am not too surprised. some people see things, others don't. that doesn't make you any less or any more special in God's eyes than anyone else. just means you didn't see anything. might be your test of patience, humility, and dedication.
i know there is more floating around in here, but i can't think of any of it in a constructive, helpful way. so for now, aaron out.
Ok well it's been a while but im back again.
As much as it will dissapoint some of you I do have a confession to make (it all evolves around the uncertainty of my existance) I started to become slightly superstitious as I started growing older (I was born 6lb6onces and 6 weeks premature) the dreaded 666 (or so I thought) I was born (on as they would call it a blac friday) friday 13th 1981 (just adding insult to injury) ?
in some ancient cultures great things would be expected of you, born under such favorable conditions. life happens, don't let fear direct it
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