Searching for something (mythology, church, Islam, Baptist)

[psalm25]

* I have this posted in a different section and someone advised me to maybe post here too so I am *

Thanks


------------------------

Quote:
Anyways I'm a happily married mom of 2. My husband is xtian and I and the children are officially jewish although nonpracticing at the moment.
I found my way here by accident. I was looking some stuff up on google and happened upon your site. It seemed like an open place that one could go and ask some questions in a nonthreatening environment so I thought I would give it a try.
I grew up xtian, baptised the whole ship and kaboodle. As a young adult I joined a baptist church.... One service the pastor started talking about how some members didn't like celebrating easter due to its pagan origins.... I had NO idea what he was talking about so I decided to look into it which lead me into a wealth of info I had never known. I embraced all this new found knowledge and eventually joined the messanic movement. I spent a few years with them til eventually I started attending a consevative shul...... I got to talking with the Rabbi and a year or so later I decided to embrace judaism and leave xtianity all together. Just a side note the Jewish faith DO NOT seek converts.... they actually discourage it.... but I was determined and converted. I had my children converted as well. NOW you may be thinking what about your husband...... ALL the while he is supportive he remained a unpracticing xtain. Which to clarify means.... he has faith in jesus and may occationally pray but thats about the extent of his practice..... Out of respect for me he did occationally attend services with me.
Anyways, he was very supportive of me. As a Jew I got rid of ANYTHING having to do with the xtian faith. We only celebrated Jewish holidays etc etc.... which looking back now was very nice of my husband... I don't know if I could of been as supportive had it been in reverse.... which I guess shows who is the selfish one
Anyways trying to get to the point..... About a year ago I was doing some cleaning and I came across my old Bible..... I thought I had gotten rid of most of the xtian stuff but guess I didn't. I decided to (for giggles) open it up and rumage through to see what I had in there.... Found some old church flyers and other misc. papers. I decided to then flip open and look inside it..... It opened to John 5:38.....
Quote:
You do not have His word abiding in you, for you do not believe Him whom He sent.
okay I'll admit that sent chills up my spin and I decided to keep reading to the end which of course only got worse...... but I convinced myself it was just a coinsidence.... and put it out of my mind...... A few months later we moved and I was cleaning the house and decided to turn the TV on and listen to it as I was cleaning...... As I flipped I flipped it on a xtian station somehow and just as turned on this station this Jesus movie was on and jesus was talking saying this EXACT verse...... deja vu perhaps but it definitely got my attention but again I decided to put it out of my mind........
Probably what got me more thinking was when my aunt died..... I started researching near death experiences and what people were reporting they saw whether good or bad or nothing at all..... about 90% of the accounts I found were of xtian origin even the little kids......

So whats the point you may be wondering.....

I don't know...... I don't know what the point of all this is....... I can't even explain why I am here posting yet I am. I am curious perhaps..... wishing I could be convinced unconsciencely perhaps..... but yet here I am.......

I haven't practiced any faith in a while....... While I whole heartly believe there is a G-d how to define that I can not tell you....
I don't necessarily ascribe to any faith anymore..... yet I will not say there is no G-d. I do admit I have a heaviness in my heart and a tightness on my neck...... What that means I don't know. I just know I feel it.....
I did decide to go to an Easter service here locally..... (as I posted about in a different section) It was a nice service but I felt so out of place..... It was all I could do not to run out of the place... It was hard to sit there yet I made myself..... Why I don't know.
I guess part of me was envy of what those people there had. I could see the utter complete assurance they had in what they believed. The joy they had in their eyes but it wasn't enough to get me to where I wanted to seek / ask for some too cause I still am not convienced that they aren't believing a lie ....... kwim? I know they believe full heartedly but whether or not its really the truth I just can't say or KNOW FOR SURE.......
I don't know if any of this is making sense..... Its so hard to discribe and get out in a way that others may beable to relate or even help me understand myself...... I can say I feel lost.... I do wish G-d would speak to me to help me to lead me to whatever I am suppose to be doing and know..... I do yearn for what his desires for me are..... I just feel empty and lost in darkness.....
The only thing I do know is I feel an urgency to HURRY...... like a clock is ticking..... yet I feel maybe its too late for me to figure this all out.
I don't know where I belong.
I know that should I come to understand xtianity and wish to return..... I do feel guilt and think about the day of my conversion. While I was so happy and convinced I was doing right..... I stood before a jewish councel and declared my Faith.... denounced faith in Jesus or any other religion...... During those first few years I had a hardness in my heart for anything to do with Jesus.... I hated to even hear anything about xtianity.... while my heart has softened and it does not bother me like ti did earlier I still don't know where that leaves me......
Maybe I need to talk to a rabbi and pastor..... maybe I am just agnostic.... ?



Has anybody ever been here? How does one ever get out or find there way again? regardless of where that way is...... I feel like I'm in a religous pit of void...... I want G-d but I feel like he can't get to me anymore..... I use to feel so close to him but now I feel nothing.....

I will admit that that scares me.....

Another thing that keeps me from any form of faith is all the mythology out there that matches up with xtianity and even parts of Judaism.... which is probably why I am in the grey........ of no faith other than I KNOW there is a G-d....... I hate being where I am though......

Maybe I'm just eternally lost from whatever the truth may be..

[ptsum]

Originally Posted by psalm25

* I have this posted in a different section and someone advised me to maybe post here too so I am *

Thanks


------------------------

Quote:
Anyways I'm a happily married mom of 2. My husband is xtian and I and the children are officially jewish although nonpracticing at the moment.
I found my way here by accident. I was looking some stuff up on google and happened upon your site. It seemed like an open place that one could go and ask some questions in a nonthreatening environment so I thought I would give it a try.
I grew up xtian, baptised the whole ship and kaboodle. As a young adult I joined a baptist church.... One service the pastor started talking about how some members didn't like celebrating easter due to its pagan origins.... I had NO idea what he was talking about so I decided to look into it which lead me into a wealth of info I had never known. I embraced all this new found knowledge and eventually joined the messanic movement. I spent a few years with them til eventually I started attending a consevative shul...... I got to talking with the Rabbi and a year or so later I decided to embrace judaism and leave xtianity all together. Just a side note the Jewish faith DO NOT seek converts.... they actually discourage it.... but I was determined and converted. I had my children converted as well. NOW you may be thinking what about your husband...... ALL the while he is supportive he remained a unpracticing xtain. Which to clarify means.... he has faith in jesus and may occationally pray but thats about the extent of his practice..... Out of respect for me he did occationally attend services with me.
Anyways, he was very supportive of me. As a Jew I got rid of ANYTHING having to do with the xtian faith. We only celebrated Jewish holidays etc etc.... which looking back now was very nice of my husband... I don't know if I could of been as supportive had it been in reverse.... which I guess shows who is the selfish one
Anyways trying to get to the point..... About a year ago I was doing some cleaning and I came across my old Bible..... I thought I had gotten rid of most of the xtian stuff but guess I didn't. I decided to (for giggles) open it up and rumage through to see what I had in there.... Found some old church flyers and other misc. papers. I decided to then flip open and look inside it..... It opened to John 5:38.....
Quote:
You do not have His word abiding in you, for you do not believe Him whom He sent.
okay I'll admit that sent chills up my spin and I decided to keep reading to the end which of course only got worse...... but I convinced myself it was just a coinsidence.... and put it out of my mind...... A few months later we moved and I was cleaning the house and decided to turn the TV on and listen to it as I was cleaning...... As I flipped I flipped it on a xtian station somehow and just as turned on this station this Jesus movie was on and jesus was talking saying this EXACT verse...... deja vu perhaps but it definitely got my attention but again I decided to put it out of my mind........
Probably what got me more thinking was when my aunt died..... I started researching near death experiences and what people were reporting they saw whether good or bad or nothing at all..... about 90% of the accounts I found were of xtian origin even the little kids......

So whats the point you may be wondering.....

I don't know...... I don't know what the point of all this is....... I can't even explain why I am here posting yet I am. I am curious perhaps..... wishing I could be convinced unconsciencely perhaps..... but yet here I am.......

I haven't practiced any faith in a while....... While I whole heartly believe there is a G-d how to define that I can not tell you....
I don't necessarily ascribe to any faith anymore..... yet I will not say there is no G-d. I do admit I have a heaviness in my heart and a tightness on my neck...... What that means I don't know. I just know I feel it.....
I did decide to go to an Easter service here locally..... (as I posted about in a different section) It was a nice service but I felt so out of place..... It was all I could do not to run out of the place... It was hard to sit there yet I made myself..... Why I don't know.
I guess part of me was envy of what those people there had. I could see the utter complete assurance they had in what they believed. The joy they had in their eyes but it wasn't enough to get me to where I wanted to seek / ask for some too cause I still am not convienced that they aren't believing a lie ....... kwim? I know they believe full heartedly but whether or not its really the truth I just can't say or KNOW FOR SURE.......
I don't know if any of this is making sense..... Its so hard to discribe and get out in a way that others may beable to relate or even help me understand myself...... I can say I feel lost.... I do wish G-d would speak to me to help me to lead me to whatever I am suppose to be doing and know..... I do yearn for what his desires for me are..... I just feel empty and lost in darkness.....
The only thing I do know is I feel an urgency to HURRY...... like a clock is ticking..... yet I feel maybe its too late for me to figure this all out.
I don't know where I belong.
I know that should I come to understand xtianity and wish to return..... I do feel guilt and think about the day of my conversion. While I was so happy and convinced I was doing right..... I stood before a jewish councel and declared my Faith.... denounced faith in Jesus or any other religion...... During those first few years I had a hardness in my heart for anything to do with Jesus.... I hated to even hear anything about xtianity.... while my heart has softened and it does not bother me like ti did earlier I still don't know where that leaves me......
Maybe I need to talk to a rabbi and pastor..... maybe I am just agnostic.... ?



Has anybody ever been here? How does one ever get out or find there way again? regardless of where that way is...... I feel like I'm in a religous pit of void...... I want G-d but I feel like he can't get to me anymore..... I use to feel so close to him but now I feel nothing.....

I will admit that that scares me.....

Another thing that keeps me from any form of faith is all the mythology out there that matches up with xtianity and even parts of Judaism.... which is probably why I am in the grey........ of no faith other than I KNOW there is a G-d....... I hate being where I am though......

Maybe I'm just eternally lost from whatever the truth may be..

I wouldn't say that you were eternally lost,it sounds like you're still searching and that is something that we all go through at one point in our life,it's not uncommon to question our belief, in the long run it only strengthens us in our belief.You have a belief in a Creator and that is a beginning,you have experience Christianity and Judaism and there are many others out there and I would encourage you to check those out also and choose the one that you feel most comfortable with.Remember,only you can make that decision.

[psalm25]

Thank you for your thoughts and kindness.

[rickmahorn]

Originally Posted by psalm25

* I have this posted in a different section and someone advised me to maybe post here too so I am *

Thanks


------------------------

Quote:
Anyways I'm a happily married mom of 2. My husband is xtian and I and the children are officially jewish although nonpracticing at the moment.
I found my way here by accident. I was looking some stuff up on google and happened upon your site. It seemed like an open place that one could go and ask some questions in a nonthreatening environment so I thought I would give it a try.
I grew up xtian, baptised the whole ship and kaboodle. As a young adult I joined a baptist church.... One service the pastor started talking about how some members didn't like celebrating easter due to its pagan origins.... I had NO idea what he was talking about so I decided to look into it which lead me into a wealth of info I had never known. I embraced all this new found knowledge and eventually joined the messanic movement. I spent a few years with them til eventually I started attending a consevative shul...... I got to talking with the Rabbi and a year or so later I decided to embrace judaism and leave xtianity all together. Just a side note the Jewish faith DO NOT seek converts.... they actually discourage it.... but I was determined and converted. I had my children converted as well. NOW you may be thinking what about your husband...... ALL the while he is supportive he remained a unpracticing xtain. Which to clarify means.... he has faith in jesus and may occationally pray but thats about the extent of his practice..... Out of respect for me he did occationally attend services with me.
Anyways, he was very supportive of me. As a Jew I got rid of ANYTHING having to do with the xtian faith. We only celebrated Jewish holidays etc etc.... which looking back now was very nice of my husband... I don't know if I could of been as supportive had it been in reverse.... which I guess shows who is the selfish one
Anyways trying to get to the point..... About a year ago I was doing some cleaning and I came across my old Bible..... I thought I had gotten rid of most of the xtian stuff but guess I didn't. I decided to (for giggles) open it up and rumage through to see what I had in there.... Found some old church flyers and other misc. papers. I decided to then flip open and look inside it..... It opened to John 5:38.....
Quote:
You do not have His word abiding in you, for you do not believe Him whom He sent.
okay I'll admit that sent chills up my spin and I decided to keep reading to the end which of course only got worse...... but I convinced myself it was just a coinsidence.... and put it out of my mind...... A few months later we moved and I was cleaning the house and decided to turn the TV on and listen to it as I was cleaning...... As I flipped I flipped it on a xtian station somehow and just as turned on this station this Jesus movie was on and jesus was talking saying this EXACT verse...... deja vu perhaps but it definitely got my attention but again I decided to put it out of my mind........
Probably what got me more thinking was when my aunt died..... I started researching near death experiences and what people were reporting they saw whether good or bad or nothing at all..... about 90% of the accounts I found were of xtian origin even the little kids......

So whats the point you may be wondering.....

I don't know...... I don't know what the point of all this is....... I can't even explain why I am here posting yet I am. I am curious perhaps..... wishing I could be convinced unconsciencely perhaps..... but yet here I am.......

I haven't practiced any faith in a while....... While I whole heartly believe there is a G-d how to define that I can not tell you....
I don't necessarily ascribe to any faith anymore..... yet I will not say there is no G-d. I do admit I have a heaviness in my heart and a tightness on my neck...... What that means I don't know. I just know I feel it.....
I did decide to go to an Easter service here locally..... (as I posted about in a different section) It was a nice service but I felt so out of place..... It was all I could do not to run out of the place... It was hard to sit there yet I made myself..... Why I don't know.
I guess part of me was envy of what those people there had. I could see the utter complete assurance they had in what they believed. The joy they had in their eyes but it wasn't enough to get me to where I wanted to seek / ask for some too cause I still am not convienced that they aren't believing a lie ....... kwim? I know they believe full heartedly but whether or not its really the truth I just can't say or KNOW FOR SURE.......
I don't know if any of this is making sense..... Its so hard to discribe and get out in a way that others may beable to relate or even help me understand myself...... I can say I feel lost.... I do wish G-d would speak to me to help me to lead me to whatever I am suppose to be doing and know..... I do yearn for what his desires for me are..... I just feel empty and lost in darkness.....
The only thing I do know is I feel an urgency to HURRY...... like a clock is ticking..... yet I feel maybe its too late for me to figure this all out.
I don't know where I belong.
I know that should I come to understand xtianity and wish to return..... I do feel guilt and think about the day of my conversion. While I was so happy and convinced I was doing right..... I stood before a jewish councel and declared my Faith.... denounced faith in Jesus or any other religion...... During those first few years I had a hardness in my heart for anything to do with Jesus.... I hated to even hear anything about xtianity.... while my heart has softened and it does not bother me like ti did earlier I still don't know where that leaves me......
Maybe I need to talk to a rabbi and pastor..... maybe I am just agnostic.... ?



Has anybody ever been here? How does one ever get out or find there way again? regardless of where that way is...... I feel like I'm in a religous pit of void...... I want G-d but I feel like he can't get to me anymore..... I use to feel so close to him but now I feel nothing.....

I will admit that that scares me.....

Another thing that keeps me from any form of faith is all the mythology out there that matches up with xtianity and even parts of Judaism.... which is probably why I am in the grey........ of no faith other than I KNOW there is a G-d....... I hate being where I am though......

Maybe I'm just eternally lost from whatever the truth may be..

It sounds as if you are in the throes of an existential crisis. My advice to you would be to QUESTION EVERYTHING. Keep asking the question "WHY" about everything. Get down to the bottom of your beliefs and preconceptions about everything.

Question the nature of reality
Question science -- How do they arrive at these conclusions? Gravity? Big Bang? Evolution? Question them all!
Question religion -- Where did it come from , how did it evolve, how has it been used by human societies?
Question your thoughts on various issues -- Why do I think this is wrong? Where did this thought come from?
Question the existence of God
Question when humans started to wear clothes and why it was introduced
Question sexuality

Question EVERYTHING, it doesn't matter what. You are going to find out some answers that will probably go against your wishes, but don't give in to ignorance. Keep searching for the truth. I promise you, at the other end of the line of questioning is an unbelievably liberating feeling. Just don't take what other people say or a lot of people say as the truth. Never stop questioning things!

[Boxcar Overkill]

You have a strong biological desire to believe you are infinite. It's your survival instinct, brought to you by evolution, that makes you yearn to find away to exist for ever. Your mind is predisposed to find solutions that will feed your survival instinct and let you live for ever. That's where religion comes in.

But you were also born with a logical mind. And it's the goal of a rational person to overcome their baser instincts with rational thought. If you take your desire to live for ever out of the picture, you'll see that all the evidence suggest that when you die you will simple decompose. There is neither a Christian or Jewish God. Those are nothing more than ancient myths, like those of Thor for the vikings.

That's my answer.

[MysticPhD]

Psalm25,

Welcome. Your name would seem to fit your current predicament. I trod a different path and unexpectedly encountered the existence of God consciousness as the basis for our reality. That forced me to do what seems to be facing you . . . search for the best explanation of this reality. You seem to already believe in the reality of God . . . so you are where I was so many years ago. After decades of eclectic study of anything related including science . . . I was led eventually to the reality of Jesus . . . but not the magical, willing victim of God's wrath to pay for our sins,etc. etc. that passes for Christianity today. Jesus endured the wrath of men to bring His example of the TRUE NATURE of God to humankind and (by His death and rebirth as Spirit) to provide the spiritual connection to God through the Holy Spirit within the consciousness of each of us. I am willing to witness the results . . . as I have repeatedly done in these fora . . . but I am not willing to assume the mantle of teacher . . . nor recommend the path you SHOULD take . . . just the one I chose.

MY views are both science-based and scripturally-based and do not require joining ANY assemblage of human beings. I have absolute certainty that God is available to guide you by the Holy Spirit within . . . in love of God and each other, period. There is absolutely nothing to fear in that "state of mind." God has NONE of the negative human emotions or motives attributed to God in the OT (Torah) . . . ONLY the characteristics of unconditional love and acceptance as displayed by Jesus in life and death. That does NOT mean there aren't negative consequences from failure to develop love of God and each other . . . but they are NOT punishments . . . just the result of failure.

[ICN2U]

surrender............

God will figure it out for you.........


question....ever thought of becoming a 'mesianic jew'...??



surrender whole heartedly,,pray to God.......... and keep seeking...

"If you seek me, you will find me"..........

hang in there

[psalm25]

Originally Posted by ICN2U

surrender............

God will figure it out for you.........


question....ever thought of becoming a 'mesianic jew'...??



surrender whole heartedly,,pray to God.......... and keep seeking...

"If you seek me, you will find me"..........

hang in there

Yes, I stated I was in the messianic faith for a few years before leaving for Judaism.

[braderjoe]

If you can get past the media misconceptions etc....why not do a little bit of research into Islam? May HE guide you onto the straight path..