Saying grace before a meal...what do you expect from guests? (Buddhist, America)
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Brother in law is Thai ethnically and Buddhist. He is married to my sister who was originally raised Catholic but one of our matriarch relatives (let's call her Aunt G) is born again. (Our bio parents are dead.)
Aunt G had dinner recently and invited sister and BIL. She has a pretty elaborate grace saying before a meal. BIL typically bows his head respectfully in these situations (I have seen him do so with other relatives) but does not participate other than that. Aunt G about lost her mind and demanded that he "say grace" and cross himself, etc. He did so to keep peace, but my sister is angry that he was put on the spot. This is now a "thing" in my family.
Is it common to demand that guests "say grace" no matter what their affiliation?
Brother in law is Thai ethnically and Buddhist. He is married to my sister who was originally raised Catholic but one of our matriarch relatives (let's call her Aunt G) is born again. (Our bio parents are dead.)
Aunt G had dinner recently and invited sister and BIL. She has a pretty elaborate grace saying before a meal. BIL typically bows his head respectfully in these situations (I have seen him do so with other relatives) but does not participate other than that. Aunt G about lost her mind and demanded that he "say grace" and cross himself, etc. He did so to keep peace, but my sister is angry that he was put on the spot. This is now a "thing" in my family.
Is it common to demand that guests "say grace" no matter what their affiliation?
No. It is just expected that they remain neutral and respectful as a guest should be in someone else's home.
That was obvious the moment you told us she was a born again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickingthebricks
He did so to keep peace, but my sister is angry that he was put on the spot. This is now a "thing" in my family.
I can't blame your sister. In fact that would be our last Aunt G family dinner if I was in their shoes. Who wants to show up at a dinner party and experience a fundamental extremist demanding guests to participate in their lunacy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by kickingthebricks
Is it common to demand that guests "say grace" no matter what their affiliation?
Nope nor should it be tolerated. I would have gotten up and excused myself from that dinner and politely left.
That was obvious the moment you told us she was a born again.
I can't blame your sister. In fact that would be our last Aunt G family dinner if I was in their shoes. Who wants to show up at a dinner party and experience a fundamental extremist demanding guests to participate in their lunacy?
Nope nor should it be tolerated. I would have gotten up and excused myself from that dinner and politely left.
I agree completely. I'm American, but Thai (Theravada) Buddhist. In such a setting I would leave. And, in fact, it is why I don't attend our HOA's annual meeting, which practically turns out to be a prayer service.
I don't expect anything out of others. If they appreciate prayer and grace, good. If they don't, that is fine too. If they feel like sharing, they can include something from their perspective and view.
Meals should bring people together. We all need food for nourishment and sustenance. Our differences are secondary, and irrelevant to the purpose of food and community.
How is kneeling for the National Anthem relevant to this post about a born again extremist demanding a guest to "say grace" and cross himself"?
It's not.
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